Sunday, May 31, 2015

Women-Drivers

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1st woman drunk driver sent to jail


Hyderabad: ...In another case on Friday night, a woman doctor, who was in an inebriated state, gave a tough time to traffic cops before being tested positive for drunken driving at Jubilee Hills Road No. 45. The doctor not only resisted the alcometer test, but also used foul language when apprehended by cops...

...DC Page 6 Sunday 31 May 2015


gps: That is perhaps why many progressive countries forbid women from driving.



...Posted by Ishani 

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Saturday, May 30, 2015

Police Files

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"...On Friday evening, members of the Telangana Nirudyoga Vidyarthi JAC got a donkey on rent and they saddled up an effigy of Mr. K. T. Rama Rao on the animal...Mr Kalyan said that after burning of the effigy, police had intervened and had taken away the donkey."

...DC Page 5 Saturday 30 May 2015


gps: The police pay the rent, I guess.




...Posted by Ishani

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Friday, May 29, 2015

Stately Killings

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"Pak executes 1998 plane hijackers"

...Headline in DC Page 13 Friday 29 May 2015


gps:  2 short of a round figure.



Posted by Ishani

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Thursday, May 28, 2015

కంద పద్యం

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కంII వెదికితి రెండక్షరముల 
                                  పదములు వందలు సుళువుగ పలికెడు రీతిన్
            పదమున మూడక్షరములు
                                   పలుకుట కింపుగ సరిపడు పద్యము లందున్
   

ఇషాని శతకం


...ఇషాని తాత



Phew!




ఆII   కంద పద్య మెంతొ అందమై ఉండును


వచ్చు కళ్ళ నీళ్ళు వ్రాయ బోవ


     దిద్ది తీర్చి నటులె దూరపు కొండలు


శ్రధ్ధ బెట్టి వినుము చిన్న ఇషని




...Posted by Ishani

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"Jap-Chin-Pak"

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"We want to reduce Pakistan to the status of rogue or a pipsqueak nation and be ranked along with China and Japan."

...Shiv Visvanathan (a social science nomad)

...DC Page 10 Thursday 28 May 2015




...Posted by Ishani

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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

American Challenge

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"The Navyandhra Nava Nirmana Sankalpa Panchayathana Sahitha Sudarsana Maha Yagnam is being led by Srinivasananda Saraswati Swamiji, head of the Sri Anandasrama at Krishnapuram"


...DC Page 2 Tuesday 26 May 2015 


gps: Then Try THIS for a change!




లలనా జనాపాంగ వలనావసదనంగ
తులనాభికాభంగ దోః ప్రసంగ
మలసానిలవిలోల దళసా సవరసాల
ఫలసాదర శుకాల పన విశాల
మలినీగరుద నీక మలినీ కృతధునీ క
మలినీ సు
 ఖితకోక కులవధూక
మతికాంత సలతాంత లతికాంతర నితాంత
రతికాంత రణతాంత సుతనుకాంత

మకృత కామోద కురవకా వికల వకుళ 
ముకు
 ళ సకల వనాంత ప్రమోద చలిత
కలిత కలకంఠ కులకంఠ కాకలీవి
భాసురము వొల్చు మధువాస వాసరమ్ము



...Posted by Ishani

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Monday, May 25, 2015

Beware of Tigers @ Indira Park!

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"Activists participate in a protest demanding relocation of Ustad, a tiger who allegedly killed four, including a forest guard, back to the Ranthambhore tiger reserve, at Indira Park in the city on Sunday."

...ToI Page 2 Monday 25 May 2015




...Posted by Ishani

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Sexual Harassment

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"This fish (red-bellied piranha) is also known as 'ball-cutter' as it is known to bite off testicles of people entering its territory"

...DC Page 5 Monday 25 May 2015



...Posted by Ishani

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Sunday, May 24, 2015

Crime & Punishment

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She: "I want the lecturer restrained from passing lewd remarks and punished"

...DC Page 4 Sunday 24 May 2015

He: Oh, thanx a million!



...Posted by Ishani

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Saturday, May 23, 2015

Flotation Law

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"Field officers have been instructed to look out for sign boards, hoardings, posters etc. that are visible to the public and book cases against the (liquor) advertisers. However, the penalty is a meagre Rs 250. That is a problem. The other option is cancellation of license if they repeatedly float the law," he added.

...DC Page 4 Saturday 23 May 2015




...Posted by Ishani

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Dee-Dum

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Tweedledum and Tweedledee
    Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
    Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
    As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
    They quite forgot their quarrel.



As I was saying the other day, five months after I joined IIT KGP on May 1st 1965, war broke out between India and Pakistan. And we were all thrilled, sorry to say. All of us in the hostel missed the fabled World War II and folks said that World War III wouldn't be hot...it would be cold. Anyway we had our quota of night blackouts which meant we were asked to paste with glue black papers on our windows. And we had our quota of bombings and dogfights of jet planes. 


Oh well, it lasted but 22 days much before we were bored or killed. Everyone said it was a stalemate like in chess. Truth was that India and Pakistan lost all their tanks and ammunition and dollars. So both were looking badly for a face-saving end to brag about.


And the Russians were willing to broker peace. And their PM, Comrade Kosygin, eventually arranged a meet between our democratically elected PM, LBS, and Pak's military head honcho, Ayub Khan, at a place called Tashkent...never heard of it, like our Baba's cute sister asked:


"Smriti,who?"


We looked up our maps and it wasn't there...either our maps were no Google's or Tashkent was too tiny.


And we were told that a peace formula was evolved called Tashkent Declaration and Cease Fire (for the moment):









And suddenly we were told that our fond PM died at Tashkent of a heart failure. No one believed it, least of all the family members of LBS who still think he was poisoned:



...Lalita, the wife of Shastri, pointing to strange bluish marks on his body and claiming that he never had any heart problems in the past, said that her husband was indeed poisoned. The tense political situation in which Shastri had worked and the suddenness of his death seemed to speak in favour of this. At the same time, the Indian authorities found no reason for an autopsy. Subsequently, the lack of any documentary evidence, other than the results of the one medical examination, only added fuel to the fire, and increased the number of people that believed in a conspiracy theory...


http://in.rbth.com/arts/2013/10/02/lal_bahadur_shastris_death_in_tashkent_still_raises_questions_29837.html


Neither do people believe Netajee died in a plane crash...


Anyway, we were very sorry, for, LBS was a much-loved person in the whole of India. He had neither enemies nor even critics, which would never again be the case.


Next day we saw photos of the light coffin of LBS being carried on the strong shoulders of Ayub Khan and Comrade Kosygin...the first an enemy and the second a much-feared Russian PM:












We were all over-awed. Hitler's body was never carried by Churchill and Stalin and Roosevelt (or for that matter, Truman). Nor was Napoleon's by his enemy kings.

I don't think such a solemn end would ever happen again to anyone.


Well, there was a chance during the Indo-Pak War, Version 4, called Kargill...it was a near thing. Mush-Khush now boasts of it as his greatest victory:


http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2015/05/mush-khush.html



But history says that Pak was beaten so badly then that their civilian PM, behind whose back (which he stabbed later) Mush brought shame to his country, was bleating and ran to Clinton (in his spare moments) to evolve a face-saving formula. And Clinton obliged and called our own fond PM, Vajpayee, to come to the White House at once.


But Vajpayee declined and said sorry (he was then beating the hell of Mush and his Khush):



...Riedel said Sharif's intention also became clearer. He was bringing his wife and children with him to Washington, a possible indication he was afraid he might not be able to go home if the summit failed or that the military was telling him to leave... "The room was tense and Sharif visibly worried," Riedel wrote. Sharif also warned that fundamentalists in Pakistan would move against him and this meeting would be the last with him. Clinton was clear and firm. Sharif had a choice -- withdraw behind the LoC and the moral compass would tilt back towards Pakistan or stay and fight a dangerous war with India without American sympathy...


http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/Vajpayee-stood-firm-during-Kargil-conflict-Clinton-aide/articleshow/10341644.cms



Who knows what would have happened if Vajpayee had indeed traveled to the White House? Maybe Clinton would have had to carry a coffin on his own shoulders. But its contents wouldn't have been of dear dear Vajpayee for sure ;)



...Posted by Ishani

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Friday, May 22, 2015

Distilled Wisdom

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"In an attempt to provide employment to the youth, the government has, in principle, decided to promote manufacture of inexpensive liquor."

...DC Page 3 Friday 22 May 2015



...Posted by Ishani

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Weather Punditry

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"Experts explained that the sudden rise in temperature was because of hot winds"

...DC Page 2 Friday 22 May 2015


gps: And, pray, what are hot winds because of?



...Posted by Ishani

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Fairy Princess

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...Posted by ISHANI

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Thursday, May 21, 2015

Sloganeering - 13

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"As it happened, India was then passing through a veritable drought and so our diminutive LBS came up with the delicious slogan:



"Jai Jawan Jai Kisan!"

http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2015/05/sloganeering-12.html





So, there was a wee scarcity of grains and we had to still get to know that America was passing through a glut of wheat that was rotting in her godowns.


And the so-called PL 480 was in the future tense of Indira Gandhi:





Johnson with Gandhi, March 28, 1966. (White House Photo Office)



And in any case our PM Lal Bahdur Shastri must have been too shy to beg. So he invented the new slogan:


"Miss a Meal!"


At first we thought he wanted us to miss a meal everyday, students and teachers alike. But the fine print read that we were only asked to miss a meal once a week:

...He asked all Indians to make a supreme sacrifice: Miss A Meal once in a week. The savings combined with this single act of a meal saved will save India millions of import bill of food grains and also a national embarrassment...


http://booksmoviesandwhatever.blogspot.in/2013/10/a-lesser-known-fact-about-lal-bahadur.html



That was a breeze, we felt. But the meal we were to miss was the Monday evening dinner. And all hostel messes and hotels were closed by order that night.


Folks with families like our HoDs living in the huge Qrs could skip their meal for a few hours perhaps. But we, who were staying and eating in the Halls of Residence at IIT KGP, were forlorn.


But, as they say, where there is life there is hope. And we had this Nair Canteen on the outskirts of our campus. And Nair's was no hotel...it was just a snack-canteen. And our authorities conveniently ordered Nair to keep his canteen open. And how glad he was!


So all of us trooped to the Nair's and waited happily for our orders to be duly processed. And a couple of Rocket Dosas, a couple of Veg Uttappams, topped by a couple of steaming cups of coffee saw through the night more than enough. And the Miss a Meal was a festive night for us although the said order cost a whopping Rs 5 (the hall mess charged us only Rs 80 for a whole month giving us four meals each day).


And our senior teachers and their families discovered that Monday night at Nair's was a swell holiday for the housewives and we got duly overpowered and hunted out...


And within a few months the whole affair dissipated like snowflakes in the sun, barring the slogan.











...Posted by Ishani


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Quantum Love

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2014 JEE Topper wants to quit IIT for physics


"Computer Science is interesting, but my passion lies in physics. I want to do research, probably in quantum theory"

...ToI Front Page Thursday 21 May 2015 








...Posted by Ishani

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Rajanspeak

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"The rupee has been one of the most stable currencies against the dollar"

...DC Page 15 Thursday 21 May 2015



...Posted by Ishani

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Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Tigris Deccan Chroniclis

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New Delhi, May 19

The wildlife lovers across the country have unitedly launched a campaign to move Ranthambhore's tiger Ustaad back to the wildlife reserve where he grew up after he was placed in captivity following the death of a forest guard.

...DC Page 9 Wednesday 20 May 2015


gps: The tiger seems to have grown up very very fast after he was placed in captivity following the death of a forest guard. 



...Posted by Ishani

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Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Felis Tigris Ministris

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...The forest department shifted the tiger for killing a forest guard ignoring even the minister's orders...

...News Item from Ranthambhore


Tiger's Plea: "I didn't receive the orders in time"




...Posted by Ishani

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Mush-Khush

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Pak army 'caught India by throat' during Kargil war: Musharraf

KARACHI: Recalling the Kargil conflict, Pakistan's former military dictator General Pervez Musharraf on Sunday said the Pakistani army "caught India by throat" and that India will never forget the war

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/pakistan/Pak-army-caught-India-by-throat-during-Kargil-war-Musharraf/articleshow/47325081.cms



gps: Also the 1971 War, sorry!:






...Posted by Ishani

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Monday, May 18, 2015

Kee Gorom!

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VIP faints



gps:  Dented Fainted





...Posted by Ishani

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Sunday, May 17, 2015

Cow Math

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Teacher fails to write essay on cow

Srinagar: The J&K High Court made a teacher write an essay on cow and solve a Class IV maths problem in an open court and ordered slapping a case against him when he failed.

...DC Page 6 Sunday 17 May 2015



gps: Moo Lord! 




...Posted by Ishani

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Sloganeering - 12

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So, the border skirmishes, which were blamed by each on the other, soon escalated into a full-fledged Indo-Pak War, Version 2, in September 1965, less than 5 months after I joined IIT KGP.

We didn't have 24/7 paid news TV networks then, nor did we have enough power to catch the squeaking BBC World News. So we depended on our own government-owned All India Radio which we knew was giving heavily doctored versions just like her Pak sister.

Everyday we heard that our losses were tiny compared to our enemy's and were suitably proud. Apparently our WW II rusted Gnats and Hunters were downing dozens of their latest US-gifted Sabre jets. 

At IIT KGP we were lucky to hear a loud aerial bombing by our Pak brethren who aimed their 1000-pounders at the nearby Kalaikunda Air Base but succeeded in dumping their thuds in the no-man's land; but yet our Hunters and Gnats downed most of their bombers and fighters in dogfights. Similar stories must have appeared in the Pak Press. Both the twins were competing fiercely in the number game.

And they had the latest US Patton Tanks while all we had were leaky cemented ones that couldn't even hold water. Neither did we have long distance heat-seeking shoulder-fired anti-tank missiles. All we had were hand-to-tank bazookas. 

And yet our brave soldiers hid themselves and ran after the Pak tanks and grounded them. Apparently, in one of the armored battles, ALL their Patton tanks were destroyed once and for all. The Blenheim was known as the graveyard of the Patton tanks:









"And everybody praised the Duke
Who this great fight did win."
"But what good came of it at last?"
Quoth little Peterkin.
"Why, that I cannot tell," said he,
"But 'twas a famous victory."


And our own Abdul Hamid (from UP) lost his life downing all of three Patton tanks single-handed and won a posthumous Param Vir Chakra (PVC, not to be confused with the later synthetic of the same acronym):




File:Havildar Abdul Hamid Portrait.jpg




...On 10 September 1965 at 0800 hours, a battalion of Pakistani armour supported by Patton tanks attacked the 4th Grenadier positions but was unable to locate the battalion's defences. The attack preceded by intense artillery bombardment to soften the target and to garner a heavy fire in an attempt to draw Indian response. By 0900 hours, the enemy tanks had penetrated the forward company positions. In the melee, Hamid saw a group of Pattons heading towards his battalion defences. Seeing the gravity of the situation, he moved out to a flank with his gun mounted on a jeep. Intense enemy shelling and tank fire did not deter him. He fired continuously knocking out three Pattons one after another but was killed by tank fire from the fourth before he could engage it...

...wiki




For those skeptical of these valient stories, here is an intact Pakistan Patton Tank captured and transported and preserved in the Snajeevaiah Park in Hyderabad:








I saw it recently and seeing is, as they say, is believing.


And we were all thrilled at the evidence that Indian Muslims would die for the defense of India, if any such proof is required. I don't think Pakistani Hindus are as patriotic, simply because there are so few of them prepared to die, rather than be killed.


As it happened, India was then passing through a veritable drought and so our diminutive LBS came up with the delicious slogan:




"Jai Jawan Jai Kisan!"



...Posted by Ishani


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