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Doctor Allergy
1967: IIT KGP:
Couple of years back I was down with a raging fever. But I hid it from my son and D-i-L.
Managing with Dolos six a day.
On the fourth night the fever was shooting up 103, 104...
I couldn't come out of my bedroom.
My son and D-i-L visited me and found the temperature at 105.
They got scared out of their wits. My son gave me a tablet of Meftal.
And I was transported to the posh corporate hospital at midnight.
At the sight of its Emergency Ward, my fever vanished and I was smiling (scared).
The night-duty Assistant was wondering why I was brought at the dead of the night.
Anyway, he took samples of my blood and urine and my chest X-ray, and asked me to get lost and return next noon to consult with the specialist physician Dr Rao. By then the reports would be in.
My son took me to Dr Rao:
"Too bad! You have a nasty combo of Typhoid and Pneumonia. Here are four varieties of capsules and tablets. Take them and come after two days. If you don't get cured by then, I will admit you"
:)
Two days later:
"Miraculous! Completely cured of both!
:)
"Scared of admission?"
:)
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One year later I had a wee dizziness and my son found my BP shooting up like a rocket. He took me to Dr Rso:
"Your BP is sky-high"
:)
"Here are two varieties of tablets. If your BP doesn't drop down in two days, I will admit you"
:)
Two days later:
"Miraculous! Your BP is sub-normal"
:)
"Scared of admission?"
:)
My son:
"Shall I bring my dad next week for a checkup?"
"Don't! Please don't! He is allergic to doctors. He doesn't talk. He only smiles. And my BP rises. Never bring him to me"
:)
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Scared of Admission?
It is like this:
50 years ago when I was eating our Faculty Hostel food, I was complaining mildly of a wee acidity, in our Dining Hall.
Dr D, who was new to our BC Roy Hospital and was then staying in our hostel temporarily said:
"Come to the BC Roy tomorrow at 7 AM on empty stomach"
So I went.
Dr D summoned his senior sister and said something to her in Bengali which I couldn't follow.
Sister took me by hand into a room, laid me down on the table, and asked me to keep quiet.
After a few minutes she returned with a bottle, and a tube, and a funnel. She pushed her rubber tube through my nose right into my tummy and poured the contents of the bottle into it via the tube.
I was a chain smoker then and there was this terrific urge to pull out the nasty tube and run away.
But a pleasant drowsiness overtook me and I slept.
Till she returned after half an hour, woke me up, and drew the contents of my tummy into a beaker via my nasal tube, and went away.
This drill continued every half hour.
After the second round I was wide awake and dying for a smoke.
No way :(
After 5 good hours and ten suctions, she told me to get lost and see the doctor next morning.
I cursed her inwardly and thanked her and asked:
"What was that liquid you poured into my tummy? Could I please have a bottle of it?"
"No way...Ethyl Alcohol"
Next morning Dr D was ready with what looked like my grim histogram. He inspected it critically for five good minutes and wrote out an illegible prescription:
"What does that prescription say Doctor?"
"Digene Tablets"
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Allergic to Doctors?
No way.
My wife (a later addition) is an MD.
And I have a son of fun, my spitting image...
:)
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