==========================================================
This post is a sequel to the two earlier posts: "Copycats" and "Going..Going...Gone":
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Kedar writes:
"I did not copy during the exams at KGP 'technically', but I would say that knowing the pool of questions beforehand may come close to it. I remember one instance. This was in the 9th Semester during DB's course. I really enjoyed the class, however, writing the end-semester examination is never easy, especially when your class-notes have high information density on every page and ZERO doodles (a rare case in my KGP notes). Myself and Aniket were having dinner in the RP hall mess the evening before the exam and were feeling a little overwhelmed.
RP being very close to the library, we took a stroll there after dinner and had a look at some question papers (both mid-term and end-term !!) from previous years that were kept in the reference section. We did not quite solve the papers but certainly discussed some problems that seemed interesting. This trip proved to be rewarding for obvious reasons. DB was all praise for us for scoring very high, but I never had the courage to tell him about this trip to the central library on the eve of the exam. I don't think that the 'interesting' problems were unsolvable, but the element of surprise was gone. If I had not thought about them beforehand, I am not sure if I could have done that well in the exam within the 3 hours time."
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$44
gps: Kedar was only doing what was expected of him. So, he is hereby absolved of all charges of 'copying', rather!
In our University at Waltair, the Official Outlet was selling on the Day of our Registration: (1) Syllabus (2) The prescribed text books (3) Question Papers of the last 5 years.
And then it is upto you to face the Exam. There was no attendance rule; please yourself. And our seniors used to pass on (sell) their 'prepared' essays, which they were inheriting for the last quarter of a century from their seniors. (I used to attend all classes religiously and prepare my own essays {;-})
And if you prepared well, you were sure to walk away with a First or High Second Class.
Only I was the most unfortunate chap. When it came to my batch, unfortunately SDM happened to be the external paper-setter (as I came to know later). They tried him this once and 'deleted' him from their list of paper-setters forever.
In our M Sc there was only one paper of QM. (In Indra's time there were 5: QM 0, QM 1, QM 2, QM 3, Advanced QM). There were only 16 Questions in our Bank out of which 8 were to be selected by the paper-setter. By permutations, combinations and probability rules, we prepared for 5 Questions from the Bank to be 'choiced' by us.
SDM neither looked at the Syllabus, nor the Question Bank, but set 8 questions based on his Calcutta and Cambrige University khata.
With the result that only 2 turned out to be the ones prepared by all 22 of us. The others were queer stuff like: "Write an essay depicting the similarities between Geometrical & Physical Optics on the one hand and Classical & Quantum Mechanics on the other".
Since I was ever chaste, I walked out of the Hall after one hour (out of 3) writing just my essays for the 2 Questions we prepared. But found that the two girls of our batch asked for extra time and extra loose sheets and got them too! We asked them how they could write for 3 hours. They said that they 'attempted' all the 8 questions and wrote whatever they knew; like Young's Double Slit in Optics and Inclined Plane in Classical Mechanics.
And there was this Board Meeting in which SDM was 'debarred'. They decided that whoever 'attempted' any question would get full marks (grace) on the lofty principle of HNB (another story for another blog): "When the question is like a Diamond, even the 'attempt' is like Carborundum".
The girls got 80% and the rest of us 40%. Still, God is There, and the very same HNB interviewed me and took me in at that Heaven called IIT KGP (serves them right: they got married and did more inventive Physics in CSIR Labs).
I was reminded of the story where this Class IX student prepared only the essay on Neem Tree but got Cow in the exam. He wrote that he was taking his morning walk the Meadow and saw a Cow tethered to a Neem Tree; and how beautiful was the Neem Tree, and how useful: Neem Toothpaste, Margo Soap, Neem Oil, and of course Small Pox for which Neem leaves were the only palliative.
He got 90% for his inventive essay-writing abilities (not ME!!!).
****************************************************************************
'V' writes: The 12 grad-students of his batch were sure that they would flunk in this Professor's Exam which was well-known to be tough. And so they were looking out for Admissions for other Grad Schools.
But it so happened (these things do happen) that the Seniormost of that Professor's Post-Docs fell down from his scooter (I guess one of these 12 was responsible, though not deliberately). All the dirty dozen jumped on him, admitted him to the Nursing Home and nursed him for one whole month like those Mother Teresa Angels.
And this very same Post-Doc turned out to be the Invigilator and acceded to their request that the Closed Book exam be converted into an Open Book one. But they were all too scared to 'open' their books (for they found that the Invigilator was 'invigilating' seriously). Miraculously however they all passed with very high marks (the Professor having perhaps outsourced his 'paper-correction' to the very same Post-Doc).
I am reminded of the Panchatantra (or was it Aesop) Fable in which this Lion King was sleeping and Jerry thought it was a marble statue and was crawling up and down it. Lion King woke up and held Jerry in his palm and was inspecting curiously. Jerry was quivering but promised that he would help Lion King in future if he was let go. Lion King guffawed and loved the gumption of Jerry and let him go.
A month later, this Hunter spread this Net and went for lunch and Lion King promptly walked into it, which closed upon him. And Jerry came and snapped the strings of the Net phuta-phut and let Lion King run away scot-free.
Jerry passed his Qualifiers in flying colors.
***************************************************************************
Note that both Kedar & 'V' were just careful enough to be on this side of the sin-border-line.
I guess they are being too sparse with Truth unlike me.
So, let us call them: "Copykittens"
=============================================================
Friday, August 27, 2010
Going..Going...Gone!
===============================================
This is a sequel to my previous post: "Copycats"
********************************************************************
The last sentence of that post reads:
$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"I had never been a student at KGP except for one paper in Complex Variables for my Ph D qualifiers. How I copied in the midsem and endsem exams of that paper, I will sell, but not blog for free.
Any takers?"
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Within minutes I got this mail from Saswat:
===============================================
This is a sequel to my previous post: "Copycats"
********************************************************************
The last sentence of that post reads:
$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"I had never been a student at KGP except for one paper in Complex Variables for my Ph D qualifiers. How I copied in the midsem and endsem exams of that paper, I will sell, but not blog for free.
Any takers?"
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Within minutes I got this mail from Saswat:
Dear Sir,
Is it an invitation for bids in your latest blog :) , because I will be happy to. Let the bids start!
My bid: $20 ( this is around what PRL charges per article)
$$
gps: No, Saswat, I don't deal in Money. It wasn't 'bidding', but the 'queue discipline' (an Industrial Management Jargon) is: 'First Come First Serve'.
So, you get to know my secret technique.
But before you read this on, promise me that you would compose an 'original' (no copycat here) limerick on gps and post it as a 'Comment' on this blog.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Here is the lowdown:
'R' (for Ramanujam) was a brilliant student of Math Dept. In his first year, he failed in Physics. Late one night before he was to be shunted out of IIT for not securing the requisite minimum CGPA, he came to me and requested me to convert the 'F' grade into one that would let him stay.
And he produced an Affidavit from the Court of his Subordinate Judge (not one of those copycats) at Kumbakonam that he was the great-grand-nephew of the famous 'R' after whom he was named.
You know that I am a sucker for this type of South Indian Brahmins who are wizards in Math.
He said he would be eternally grateful to me.
And he WAS!!!
It just happened that a decade later when I was taking my Qualifiers in Complex Variables (I was a late-Kate as you know), he was the senior-most Post-Doc of the very same Professor who was forcing me to take his mid- and end- sem exams.
And as his senior-most Post-Doc he had the run of his Professor's Office.
CB should have asked me: I would have given him a better plot for his "5. Everyone".
GUL!!!
$$
gps: No, Saswat, I don't deal in Money. It wasn't 'bidding', but the 'queue discipline' (an Industrial Management Jargon) is: 'First Come First Serve'.
So, you get to know my secret technique.
But before you read this on, promise me that you would compose an 'original' (no copycat here) limerick on gps and post it as a 'Comment' on this blog.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Here is the lowdown:
'R' (for Ramanujam) was a brilliant student of Math Dept. In his first year, he failed in Physics. Late one night before he was to be shunted out of IIT for not securing the requisite minimum CGPA, he came to me and requested me to convert the 'F' grade into one that would let him stay.
And he produced an Affidavit from the Court of his Subordinate Judge (not one of those copycats) at Kumbakonam that he was the great-grand-nephew of the famous 'R' after whom he was named.
You know that I am a sucker for this type of South Indian Brahmins who are wizards in Math.
He said he would be eternally grateful to me.
And he WAS!!!
It just happened that a decade later when I was taking my Qualifiers in Complex Variables (I was a late-Kate as you know), he was the senior-most Post-Doc of the very same Professor who was forcing me to take his mid- and end- sem exams.
And as his senior-most Post-Doc he had the run of his Professor's Office.
CB should have asked me: I would have given him a better plot for his "5. Everyone".
GUL!!!
===============================================
Copycats
=================================================
There is this wonderful news item in the front page of Deccan Chronicle (where else?) of yesterday:
***********************************************************************
CJ suspends copycat judges, wants report
"Aug. 25: The Andhra Pradesh High Court Chief Justice, Mr Nisar Ahmad Kakru, on Wednesday suspended five subordinate judges for allegedly indulging in copying during the LLM exams held at Kakatiya University in Warangal district on Tuesday."
*****************************************************************
Having been a student and then a teacher all my life, copying is a matter of perennial and profound interest to me. Next to setting question papers and 'correcting' the answer scripts, Invigilation is the worst duty I had to do 6 times every year. Were they paying me for teaching or policing?
I am a follower of the RKN Principle that every student should have the fundamental right to study for free whatever subject he wishes, wherever he wishes, and should have the absolute right to be not examined at all. Unlike our own Chacha Nehru generation where we had to face pass-fail exams every year, my granddaughter Ishani perhaps will have one-tenth the number of such exams, the way the trend is going. I hope that her granddaughter will live in RKN's Ideal World.
Is copying good or bad? I would say it is immensely good in a broad sense.
Supratim gifted me a 550-page book (to which I referred time and again in my earlier posts) that I read cover-to-cover last month: he is a task master forever issuing commandments like: "Thou shalt not stop teaching, nor blogging, nor guling!" Page 410 has this passage: "The 97% of our DNA commonly called junk is largely made up of clumps of letters that, in Ridley's words, exist for the pure and simple reason that they are good at getting themselves duplicated." Mass -copying-machines!!!
If our DNAs were 100% copycats, we would all be clones of Adam and Eve eating clones of the same Apple, advised by the clone of their guide-serpent. It is the minority 3% that are no good at copying that lends variety and progress to life and civilization. So, the crime is not copying well but making mistakes occasionally.
During the Vedic times, there was no script nor books nor perhaps criminal copying. Some devastatingly beautiful hymn would be 'revealed' to one Rishi. He surrounds himself by a dozen or so disciples and makes them mug up that hymn and pass it on to the next generation. They all do that till one of them gets another hymn and adds it to the Veda, and the process goes on. This is nothing but 'creative verbal copying'.
With the advent of paper and printing, there was much less need for oral remembrance. Like Ishani is never going to remember her 20x20 multiplication tables: her calculator will take care of all transactions faithfully, except that it makes mistakes once in a while, and these mistakes would lead to the further 'progress' of civilization.
In our student days, copying during exams was strictly no-no. But, if you happen to have a kind invigilator, he can just pass on the 'right' final numerical answer to Question# 8 after 'looking it up' covertly from the best student in the Exam Hall. That best student would try to conceal his answer-script from the invigilator, but invigilators were too clever by half.
In the Chemistry Lab, it was ok if you could squeeze the 'salt' from the lab assistant in white overalls.
In the Physics lab, it was ok if in the dark room, you just 'focus' your friend's spectrometer by the Schuster's Method (while she was on the lookout at the entrance); but she has to do the rest of the experiment herself. She, in return, would reveal to you the 'readings' of your experiment from her elephantine memory.
If you are a teacher of QM II, say, it is not done if you bring your Class Notes of 25 years vintage and copy the contents on the blackboard, 'backing' your students instead of facing them. But, if you could mug up the entire Dirac Hydrogen Atom's 88 steps and copy them from memory with one hand in your pocket stylishly, you are a 'genius'. But the ideal teacher would distribute the damn thing to every student, ask them to throw their pens out of the window, just listen to you explain the 'concepts', facing the students, perhaps never getting up from your chair.
What a 'concept' is and how it is transmitted orally will take a book that I am going to write one of these days {;-}]
Regarding copying at IIT KGP, let my students write to me; and I would blog them with their names revealed; no 'anonymous' comments would be entertained.
I had never been a student at KGP except for one paper in Complex Variables for my Ph D qualifiers. How I copied in the midsem and endsem exams of that paper, I will sell, but not blog for free.
Any takers?
==================================================
There is this wonderful news item in the front page of Deccan Chronicle (where else?) of yesterday:
***********************************************************************
CJ suspends copycat judges, wants report
"Aug. 25: The Andhra Pradesh High Court Chief Justice, Mr Nisar Ahmad Kakru, on Wednesday suspended five subordinate judges for allegedly indulging in copying during the LLM exams held at Kakatiya University in Warangal district on Tuesday."
*****************************************************************
Having been a student and then a teacher all my life, copying is a matter of perennial and profound interest to me. Next to setting question papers and 'correcting' the answer scripts, Invigilation is the worst duty I had to do 6 times every year. Were they paying me for teaching or policing?
I am a follower of the RKN Principle that every student should have the fundamental right to study for free whatever subject he wishes, wherever he wishes, and should have the absolute right to be not examined at all. Unlike our own Chacha Nehru generation where we had to face pass-fail exams every year, my granddaughter Ishani perhaps will have one-tenth the number of such exams, the way the trend is going. I hope that her granddaughter will live in RKN's Ideal World.
Is copying good or bad? I would say it is immensely good in a broad sense.
Supratim gifted me a 550-page book (to which I referred time and again in my earlier posts) that I read cover-to-cover last month: he is a task master forever issuing commandments like: "Thou shalt not stop teaching, nor blogging, nor guling!" Page 410 has this passage: "The 97% of our DNA commonly called junk is largely made up of clumps of letters that, in Ridley's words, exist for the pure and simple reason that they are good at getting themselves duplicated." Mass -copying-machines!!!
If our DNAs were 100% copycats, we would all be clones of Adam and Eve eating clones of the same Apple, advised by the clone of their guide-serpent. It is the minority 3% that are no good at copying that lends variety and progress to life and civilization. So, the crime is not copying well but making mistakes occasionally.
During the Vedic times, there was no script nor books nor perhaps criminal copying. Some devastatingly beautiful hymn would be 'revealed' to one Rishi. He surrounds himself by a dozen or so disciples and makes them mug up that hymn and pass it on to the next generation. They all do that till one of them gets another hymn and adds it to the Veda, and the process goes on. This is nothing but 'creative verbal copying'.
With the advent of paper and printing, there was much less need for oral remembrance. Like Ishani is never going to remember her 20x20 multiplication tables: her calculator will take care of all transactions faithfully, except that it makes mistakes once in a while, and these mistakes would lead to the further 'progress' of civilization.
In our student days, copying during exams was strictly no-no. But, if you happen to have a kind invigilator, he can just pass on the 'right' final numerical answer to Question# 8 after 'looking it up' covertly from the best student in the Exam Hall. That best student would try to conceal his answer-script from the invigilator, but invigilators were too clever by half.
In the Chemistry Lab, it was ok if you could squeeze the 'salt' from the lab assistant in white overalls.
In the Physics lab, it was ok if in the dark room, you just 'focus' your friend's spectrometer by the Schuster's Method (while she was on the lookout at the entrance); but she has to do the rest of the experiment herself. She, in return, would reveal to you the 'readings' of your experiment from her elephantine memory.
If you are a teacher of QM II, say, it is not done if you bring your Class Notes of 25 years vintage and copy the contents on the blackboard, 'backing' your students instead of facing them. But, if you could mug up the entire Dirac Hydrogen Atom's 88 steps and copy them from memory with one hand in your pocket stylishly, you are a 'genius'. But the ideal teacher would distribute the damn thing to every student, ask them to throw their pens out of the window, just listen to you explain the 'concepts', facing the students, perhaps never getting up from your chair.
What a 'concept' is and how it is transmitted orally will take a book that I am going to write one of these days {;-}]
Regarding copying at IIT KGP, let my students write to me; and I would blog them with their names revealed; no 'anonymous' comments would be entertained.
I had never been a student at KGP except for one paper in Complex Variables for my Ph D qualifiers. How I copied in the midsem and endsem exams of that paper, I will sell, but not blog for free.
Any takers?
==================================================
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A Nondescript Face
=======================================================
"That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain—
At least I am sure it may be so in Denmark"
Hamlet Act 1, scene 5, 105–109
*****************************************************************************
Not only in Denmark, but there was a minor edition of it in IIT KGP too.
Early 1965 I attended the first Interview of my life for the exalted post of an Associate Lecturer at IIT KGP. There were a dozen of us external candidates, of whom two were taken in by HNB, our HoD then.
The other was 'V', an upcountry youth. He was the precise opposite of me every way. Tall, lean, handsome to a fault with a face and a smile that won him friends (of both sexes) wherever he went. A Dev Anand in his youth.
Since we joined the same time, we were rather thrown together; the same Office shared by us (the present H N Bose Seminar Room), the same Hall, and the same Courses for different Sections (there was no semester system then).
He was so well-dressed (a typical upcountry trait), well-shaven, suited and booted, that anyone who looked at him would think he came from a well-to-do family. Very soon I knew that IIT KGP was a 'night-halt' for him, for, his eyes were firmly focused towards California, where he went after a couple of years.
But, while at KGP, he used to tag me along wherever he went, particularly to Gole Bazaar. He had rather expensive tastes like buying a camera, a cassette recorder, branded suit cases and several accessories of male fashion design. Gole Bazaar at that time rather 'belonged' to Bhandaris, Pujaris, Punwanis, Thackers et al, to whom a chaste Heartland-Hindi sentence was an open sesame. And it was child's play for our V to charm them.
In 'our' first spells of buying in Gole Bazaar, he used to take out his expensive leather wallet and dole out crisp hundred rupee notes hither an thither and asking them to sort of keep the change. I was the mute spectator quark trailing him in awe.
But soon, I realized that he was having 'accounts (khatas)' in all the major shops.
After he flew to his California, I couldn't visit Gole Bazaar for almost six months; for, wherever I walked, shopkeepers would rush out and catch me in the street and ask me what happened to 'V', who rather performed a neat vanishing trick. I came to know that his 'unpaid outstanding bills' in various shops ran into thousands.
I, on the other hand, was as poor as a church mouse and had a nondescript face. And was too shy to talk to anyone other than students and close friends. Added to that I was boyish, without a mustache or a beard. When I used to enter the Dining Hall, everyone mistook me for the latest addition to the Hall-Boys from Turipara.
And this boyish look lasted till I was 43. RKN wrote a piece on "Looking One's Age", I recall. Once I was the Chief Invigilator in Raman Auditorium. I reached half an hour early, signed all answer scripts, arranged all question papers and got everything ready, as the other invigilators tagged along one by one. After starting the Exam, I noticed that Indiradi didn't turn up (Everyone knew her). I handed over 'charge' to my next senior and left for a few minutes, since I had to 'check' my own Question Paper in another Hall.
By the time I returned, Indiradi was occupying my 'Chair', while the other invigilators were busy taking attendance, distributing question papers to late-comers and such tasks. As I entered the Exam Hall and was walking over towards her, she started shouting at me for coming so late and having the gumption of walking in nonchalantly; and asked me brusquely to go take my seat and wait for the answer script and the question paper. I was rather enjoying this familiar scene, till her cousin who was also a co-invigilator and my student a decade back, ran to her and whispered; "Didi, aapni ki korchen, ini Professor Shastry!" . Students in the front bench were smiling, and Didi was so apologetic that I had to go to the canteen for tea at once.
As I aged, I began to look more and more 'grumpy' to quote Indra's words, till I entered the Class Room, where all such notions were at once dispelled, and students rather felt friendly to me.
To this day, I enjoy my nondescript face. No one who looks at it would give a second look unless they happen to have something to get from me. This is a boon in Hyderabad. I enjoy the status of an undisturbed spectator, so necessary for blogging.
My son was feeling rather sorry to have such a grumpy gray-haired father in his upcoming Wedding Ceremony a few years ago. He dragged me to the nearest Men's Beauty Saloon and had my hair dyed jet-black and face given an expensive lift.
He was rather sorrier in the Function, since everyone took me to be his younger brother {;-}.
GUL!!!
=========================================================
"That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain—
At least I am sure it may be so in Denmark"
Hamlet Act 1, scene 5, 105–109
*****************************************************************************
Not only in Denmark, but there was a minor edition of it in IIT KGP too.
Early 1965 I attended the first Interview of my life for the exalted post of an Associate Lecturer at IIT KGP. There were a dozen of us external candidates, of whom two were taken in by HNB, our HoD then.
The other was 'V', an upcountry youth. He was the precise opposite of me every way. Tall, lean, handsome to a fault with a face and a smile that won him friends (of both sexes) wherever he went. A Dev Anand in his youth.
Since we joined the same time, we were rather thrown together; the same Office shared by us (the present H N Bose Seminar Room), the same Hall, and the same Courses for different Sections (there was no semester system then).
He was so well-dressed (a typical upcountry trait), well-shaven, suited and booted, that anyone who looked at him would think he came from a well-to-do family. Very soon I knew that IIT KGP was a 'night-halt' for him, for, his eyes were firmly focused towards California, where he went after a couple of years.
But, while at KGP, he used to tag me along wherever he went, particularly to Gole Bazaar. He had rather expensive tastes like buying a camera, a cassette recorder, branded suit cases and several accessories of male fashion design. Gole Bazaar at that time rather 'belonged' to Bhandaris, Pujaris, Punwanis, Thackers et al, to whom a chaste Heartland-Hindi sentence was an open sesame. And it was child's play for our V to charm them.
In 'our' first spells of buying in Gole Bazaar, he used to take out his expensive leather wallet and dole out crisp hundred rupee notes hither an thither and asking them to sort of keep the change. I was the mute spectator quark trailing him in awe.
But soon, I realized that he was having 'accounts (khatas)' in all the major shops.
After he flew to his California, I couldn't visit Gole Bazaar for almost six months; for, wherever I walked, shopkeepers would rush out and catch me in the street and ask me what happened to 'V', who rather performed a neat vanishing trick. I came to know that his 'unpaid outstanding bills' in various shops ran into thousands.
I, on the other hand, was as poor as a church mouse and had a nondescript face. And was too shy to talk to anyone other than students and close friends. Added to that I was boyish, without a mustache or a beard. When I used to enter the Dining Hall, everyone mistook me for the latest addition to the Hall-Boys from Turipara.
And this boyish look lasted till I was 43. RKN wrote a piece on "Looking One's Age", I recall. Once I was the Chief Invigilator in Raman Auditorium. I reached half an hour early, signed all answer scripts, arranged all question papers and got everything ready, as the other invigilators tagged along one by one. After starting the Exam, I noticed that Indiradi didn't turn up (Everyone knew her). I handed over 'charge' to my next senior and left for a few minutes, since I had to 'check' my own Question Paper in another Hall.
By the time I returned, Indiradi was occupying my 'Chair', while the other invigilators were busy taking attendance, distributing question papers to late-comers and such tasks. As I entered the Exam Hall and was walking over towards her, she started shouting at me for coming so late and having the gumption of walking in nonchalantly; and asked me brusquely to go take my seat and wait for the answer script and the question paper. I was rather enjoying this familiar scene, till her cousin who was also a co-invigilator and my student a decade back, ran to her and whispered; "Didi, aapni ki korchen, ini Professor Shastry!" . Students in the front bench were smiling, and Didi was so apologetic that I had to go to the canteen for tea at once.
As I aged, I began to look more and more 'grumpy' to quote Indra's words, till I entered the Class Room, where all such notions were at once dispelled, and students rather felt friendly to me.
To this day, I enjoy my nondescript face. No one who looks at it would give a second look unless they happen to have something to get from me. This is a boon in Hyderabad. I enjoy the status of an undisturbed spectator, so necessary for blogging.
My son was feeling rather sorry to have such a grumpy gray-haired father in his upcoming Wedding Ceremony a few years ago. He dragged me to the nearest Men's Beauty Saloon and had my hair dyed jet-black and face given an expensive lift.
He was rather sorrier in the Function, since everyone took me to be his younger brother {;-}.
GUL!!!
=========================================================
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
"Be Thy Classmate"
============================================
1997: Last Friday of April; Hall of Qrs B-140
Year-End Party for 4th Year Physics Batch.
That batch was compact and had the following students (to the best of my and my wife's memory; PoLtS will add any we missed inadvertently, after all it is 13 years ago).
1. Arundhuti
2. PoLtS
3. Dora
4. Sreekripa
5. Indra
6. Dumbu Ghosh
7. Ghazal Kumar
8. A Kumar
9. D Kumar
10. Somchak
11. Tabla Pal
12. Kingshuk
Madhuri and two of her friends from Indira Gandhi Hall were the Guest Artists.
Myself and my son then in Class X (whom they all knew) devised a Game, that we called "Be Thy Classmate". We wrote all the above names each in a small folded slip carried on a tray by my son.
One by one they would pick up one slip each from the tray and read out the name it had on it. The chap who picked up the slip will have to BE that classmate of his that appears in his slip for the next 5 minutes. He will have to introduce himself as best as he could mimic, with family details like home town, siblings, favorites and allergies, and then field questions from the audience that are to be verified as true.
The Game went swell.
The last 2 slips left over matched Indra and Arundhuti. Each happened to pick up the other and tried as best as they could to rag themselves.
Madhuri & Co were the judges and unequivocally, unanimously and spontaneously gave away the 'Prize' to Dumbu Ghosh for his excellent mimicry. Later it was revealed that he was into Amateur Theatricals.
The 'Prize' was: "All the sweets that were left-over".
All of us had a great time while the cooking and serving was going on. RSS and his family were Guests of Honor.
***********************************************************************8
After a pregnant silence of over a month (during which they 'delivered' a sumptuous Headship on him), Vinit wrote a mail in which, for fun, he awarded three "Prizes" for the best of my blogs:
************************************************************************
First Prize goes to: "Bottom Line"
Second Prize goes to: "Torn fences & Broken Walls"
Third Prize goes to: "Seven Ages of (a Lying) Man"
*************************************************************************
He also mentioned that he was amazed to experience later in reality a bluff contained in the last above blog: He and his family were driven all around Allahabad for a full day in the car of a friend just for the pleasure of their long-lost sweet company.
I replied that I myself am most attached to the 100 odd impromptu limericks that happened to me a year and half ago. And my own 'Prizes' go to:
***********************************************************
Silver Medal:
************************************************************
Thursday March 5, 2009
St Charles!
What the Dickens!
"Charles Dickens's former home 'Bleak House' in Broadstairs, Kent is up for sale for 2 million Pounds Sterling": News Report
1997: Last Friday of April; Hall of Qrs B-140
Year-End Party for 4th Year Physics Batch.
That batch was compact and had the following students (to the best of my and my wife's memory; PoLtS will add any we missed inadvertently, after all it is 13 years ago).
1. Arundhuti
2. PoLtS
3. Dora
4. Sreekripa
5. Indra
6. Dumbu Ghosh
7. Ghazal Kumar
8. A Kumar
9. D Kumar
10. Somchak
11. Tabla Pal
12. Kingshuk
Madhuri and two of her friends from Indira Gandhi Hall were the Guest Artists.
Myself and my son then in Class X (whom they all knew) devised a Game, that we called "Be Thy Classmate". We wrote all the above names each in a small folded slip carried on a tray by my son.
One by one they would pick up one slip each from the tray and read out the name it had on it. The chap who picked up the slip will have to BE that classmate of his that appears in his slip for the next 5 minutes. He will have to introduce himself as best as he could mimic, with family details like home town, siblings, favorites and allergies, and then field questions from the audience that are to be verified as true.
The Game went swell.
The last 2 slips left over matched Indra and Arundhuti. Each happened to pick up the other and tried as best as they could to rag themselves.
Madhuri & Co were the judges and unequivocally, unanimously and spontaneously gave away the 'Prize' to Dumbu Ghosh for his excellent mimicry. Later it was revealed that he was into Amateur Theatricals.
The 'Prize' was: "All the sweets that were left-over".
All of us had a great time while the cooking and serving was going on. RSS and his family were Guests of Honor.
***********************************************************************8
After a pregnant silence of over a month (during which they 'delivered' a sumptuous Headship on him), Vinit wrote a mail in which, for fun, he awarded three "Prizes" for the best of my blogs:
************************************************************************
First Prize goes to: "Bottom Line"
Second Prize goes to: "Torn fences & Broken Walls"
Third Prize goes to: "Seven Ages of (a Lying) Man"
*************************************************************************
He also mentioned that he was amazed to experience later in reality a bluff contained in the last above blog: He and his family were driven all around Allahabad for a full day in the car of a friend just for the pleasure of their long-lost sweet company.
I replied that I myself am most attached to the 100 odd impromptu limericks that happened to me a year and half ago. And my own 'Prizes' go to:
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Silver Medal:
************************************************************
Thursday March 5, 2009
St Charles!
"Vatican endorses 'Evolution Theory': Banner Headline in Deccan Chronicle, 5 March 2009"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"We are so pleased and gratified
That Darwin's Theory is sanctified,
Both Pope and us
Came from Apes;
And Sir Charles is to be beatified!"
Gold Medal:
*******************************************************************
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
What the Dickens!
"Charles Dickens's former home 'Bleak House' in Broadstairs, Kent is up for sale for 2 million Pounds Sterling": News Report
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"The stairs may be broad but the house is bleak,
The walls are broke, and the roof will leak;
The buyer will be taunted
That the house is haunted
By the ghosts of Winkle, Weller & Mr. Peakweak!"
==============================================
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Magnificent Obsessions
==========================================================
My list of queer IIT KGP citizenry:
1. 'B' couldn't sleep for one whole month in the night time because he said: 'As soon as I hit the bed and try to fall asleep, this thought used to come to me: "It will be daylight by the time I get up";' he had to be on heavy tranquillizers
2. 'R' could never go to matinee cinema shows because: "I will miss the dusk, and it is dark by the time I come out"
3. 'gps' can't sleep in a house that has a single guava fruit in it.
4. 'Rk' can sleep soundly during the course of a roaring thunderstorm with fork, ball and sheet lightnings; but gets up and jumps out of bed when a mouse squeaks, during the course of the thunder storm
5. 'J' could never face a teacher in his class room but had to look out the window, because he can't 'see him' and 'hear him' at the same time
6. 'L' can never be a 'passenger' on a push-bike, scooter, mobike or a car; he has got to be in the driver seat. He makes unwilling exceptions in boats, trains and aircraft
7. 'SDM' would lock his room, pull the huge Godrej lock 3 times up and down, walk till the collapsible gate, return to his room to check the lock at least once without exception; even when I was ecsorting and locking his room; because he was lost in thought if alone or in talk if I was with him
8. 'DB' never could hold on to the frame of his rickshaw; he would rather take a tumble in corners, breaking his collar bone once, because one hand was busy smoking and the other holding his bag in his lap
9. 'DKA' has to clear his throat before the start and stop of every sentence in conversation
10. 'S' would always laugh 'hey..hey...hey' before every joke he narrates
11. 'K' needed an RS to launch him on his scooter from his Qrs and another one to 'receive' him in the stand and park it; he always had at least two RSes
12. 'SB', the professional typist, would at last come into his chamber, start typing one sentence, and invariably has to leave for his adjacent Qrs to pick up his nossyi (snuff) box
13. 'P' would park his push-bike right across 4 parked bikes at right angles; he says it is his habit; invariably his cycle would be on the ground when he returns
This list is typical but not exhaustive, by no means
IIT KGP was (maybe still is) a mini-madhouse ============================================================
My list of queer IIT KGP citizenry:
1. 'B' couldn't sleep for one whole month in the night time because he said: 'As soon as I hit the bed and try to fall asleep, this thought used to come to me: "It will be daylight by the time I get up";' he had to be on heavy tranquillizers
2. 'R' could never go to matinee cinema shows because: "I will miss the dusk, and it is dark by the time I come out"
3. 'gps' can't sleep in a house that has a single guava fruit in it.
4. 'Rk' can sleep soundly during the course of a roaring thunderstorm with fork, ball and sheet lightnings; but gets up and jumps out of bed when a mouse squeaks, during the course of the thunder storm
5. 'J' could never face a teacher in his class room but had to look out the window, because he can't 'see him' and 'hear him' at the same time
6. 'L' can never be a 'passenger' on a push-bike, scooter, mobike or a car; he has got to be in the driver seat. He makes unwilling exceptions in boats, trains and aircraft
7. 'SDM' would lock his room, pull the huge Godrej lock 3 times up and down, walk till the collapsible gate, return to his room to check the lock at least once without exception; even when I was ecsorting and locking his room; because he was lost in thought if alone or in talk if I was with him
8. 'DB' never could hold on to the frame of his rickshaw; he would rather take a tumble in corners, breaking his collar bone once, because one hand was busy smoking and the other holding his bag in his lap
9. 'DKA' has to clear his throat before the start and stop of every sentence in conversation
10. 'S' would always laugh 'hey..hey...hey' before every joke he narrates
11. 'K' needed an RS to launch him on his scooter from his Qrs and another one to 'receive' him in the stand and park it; he always had at least two RSes
12. 'SB', the professional typist, would at last come into his chamber, start typing one sentence, and invariably has to leave for his adjacent Qrs to pick up his nossyi (snuff) box
13. 'P' would park his push-bike right across 4 parked bikes at right angles; he says it is his habit; invariably his cycle would be on the ground when he returns
This list is typical but not exhaustive, by no means
IIT KGP was (maybe still is) a mini-madhouse ============================================================
Saturday, August 21, 2010
CPM vs VPM
==================================================
Hereinafter, CPM stands for the newly joined Customer Project Manager, while VPM sits for the old and hidebound Vendor Project Manager.
*****************************************************
CPM: Hi, I am the new CPM
VPM: Hearty Welcome! I do hope you like the Product PT5 we are vending you
CPM: It is indeed excellent but I think you can install the later Sumatra 5.22 version
VPM: We have an even better latest Borneo 9.48 version coming up. It will just cost $ 500,000, double of the one we sold you. we can release it next month
CPM: I have talked to my CEO & the Pantry Girl; they are happy with the older version. But I suppose you can readily update it by tweaking PQS with LMK
VPM: LMK is excellent, but it will need Platform No. 14 instead of the 7 you have. We can update your Platform for a nominal $ 100,000
CPM: I have talked to our President & the Messenger Boy and they say "Old is Gold". But what about XRT instead of TGP?
VPM: Excellent suggestion. Only it will require a new de-bugging device. We supply this patch for almost free @ $ 15,000
CPM: I have put it to the Board & the HRM dame. They say it would delay the Release by 5 days. We are in a hurry
VPM: The best suggestion from my side would be an onsite visit for 3 months of our Senior Software Engineer and his QA staff. All we ask is hospitality in a 5-Star Hotel and Airfare in Business Class. We charge ZERO extra
CPM: All airports are closed here due to severe thunderstorms and all 5-star hotels are overbooked. Just stick with your old Product. I am going on vacation by road for 6 months. Nice talking to you
VPM: Have a Nice Vacation! Please coach your latest CPM before you leave.
Tata Bye BYE!!!!
====================================================
Hereinafter, CPM stands for the newly joined Customer Project Manager, while VPM sits for the old and hidebound Vendor Project Manager.
*****************************************************
CPM: Hi, I am the new CPM
VPM: Hearty Welcome! I do hope you like the Product PT5 we are vending you
CPM: It is indeed excellent but I think you can install the later Sumatra 5.22 version
VPM: We have an even better latest Borneo 9.48 version coming up. It will just cost $ 500,000, double of the one we sold you. we can release it next month
CPM: I have talked to my CEO & the Pantry Girl; they are happy with the older version. But I suppose you can readily update it by tweaking PQS with LMK
VPM: LMK is excellent, but it will need Platform No. 14 instead of the 7 you have. We can update your Platform for a nominal $ 100,000
CPM: I have talked to our President & the Messenger Boy and they say "Old is Gold". But what about XRT instead of TGP?
VPM: Excellent suggestion. Only it will require a new de-bugging device. We supply this patch for almost free @ $ 15,000
CPM: I have put it to the Board & the HRM dame. They say it would delay the Release by 5 days. We are in a hurry
VPM: The best suggestion from my side would be an onsite visit for 3 months of our Senior Software Engineer and his QA staff. All we ask is hospitality in a 5-Star Hotel and Airfare in Business Class. We charge ZERO extra
CPM: All airports are closed here due to severe thunderstorms and all 5-star hotels are overbooked. Just stick with your old Product. I am going on vacation by road for 6 months. Nice talking to you
VPM: Have a Nice Vacation! Please coach your latest CPM before you leave.
Tata Bye BYE!!!!
====================================================
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