===========================================================================
It is well said that when you laugh, the world laughs with you; and when you cry, the world laughs at you.
This is true for 99.99% of the world.
But there are certain rare individuals who are very curious and obsessed with the agony of others. I am not talking about perverts, sadists and voyeurs. I am talking about persons who are the best citizens of the society occupying high positions, highly regarded, helpful and genteel folks.
It just happens they are rather curious in a morbid way.
I was once escorting one of my friends to the Campus Hospital and waiting in the queue for his name to be called into the doctor's chamber. There was this female attendant sitting outside the chamber on her chair and presiding over the waiting line.
Suddenly there was a commotion outside and she pricked her ears and ran out like a surprised rabbit.
And returned after ten minutes with a highly smug look on her map as if her day was made. And announced that someone drowned in the nearby pond and she was watching the hopeless rescue operations; and returned only after inspecting the operations to their bitter end.
And called the next impatient patient as if nothing has happened...and was analyzing the why and wherefore of the event in a clinical Holmesian fashion.
And then there was this Professor X with whom I had a nodding acquaintance through our mutual friend Prof Y. Once when I was early to the Canteen and had the place all for myself, Prof X barged in on seeing me from a distance, and said with quiet satisfaction that he just then was witness to a road accident involving a campus scooterist Prof Z and a highway truck.
And described the inelastic collision in graphic detail ending with:
"It is not fatal,"
with some subdued regret almost as if he has been cheated. I nodded my head and walked out when X saw another Prof walking in and collared him,
"I just watched..."
One late night I was standing in front of my Quarters talking to my friend Prof Y when Prof X was walking towards us with his wife. They stopped and joined the chat. Suddenly my landline phone gave a long distance beep and I ran in. Those days call charges were a quarter of the phenomenal daytime tariff after 11 PM. After a couple minutes I rejoined them. Prof X took me aside to inquire kindly if everything is ok and there was no untoward news.
When I reassured him, he was almost forlorn.
Prof X gradually grew into the 'sad story informer'; and to this day we first hear via group e-mail all the campus obits from him; and they are always authentic.
DB told me of a Lady Prof family friend of his. This genlewoman is always smiling and in the best of cheer. But, apparently, any death news in the campus hospital drives her into a frenzy and she would love to lead a delegation to the hospital to protest wildly causing mayhem.
She just is a different woman then.
******************************************************************************************************************
In our families there are certain curious customs centered around death.
We are supposed to visit our bereaved family friends and relatives and console them...which is more often a formality.
But after our visit is over we should quietly quit like thieves, without bidding goodbye.
There is a curiouser reason for this. In good times, when we leave our friend's place after a jolly visit, we are not expected to say: "OK, we are going!"
Because in our lingo, 'going' means 'going for good up over there where everyone goes at the end of their brief sojourn down here'.
So, we are supposed to say: "OK, we'll come!", meaning, "We'll come again".
But if we say, "We'll come," at the end of a deadly visit, it is supposed to mean that we will gladly come for your next bereavement; which obviously is not gentlemanly.
So, we can neither say, "We are going!", nor, "We'll come".
And so, we should quietly slip away like so many culprits.
Since I didn't know all this rigmarole, I was caught on the wrong foot many times, and I stopped making these formal visits, making so many enemies either way;
"To go or not to go"
****************************************************************************************************************
In ancient times there was less hypocrisy and mobs used to be allowed to witness public hangings to their entire satisfaction cheering the hangman along the way. There is this lovely scene of public hanging in the film: Great Train Robbery.
And all of us have read about the Roman amphitheaters and gladiators and Androcles and the Lion.
Here is a cute item by the Autocrat describing a fictitious report from a Roman Age Correspondent filing his stuff on Cicero's weekly lectures in Rome, concluding with:
"...The lecture was on the whole acceptable, and a credit to our culture and civilization.---The Reporter goes on to state that there will be no lecture next week, on account of the expected combat between the bear and the barbarian. Betting (sponsio) two to one (duo ad unum) on the bear."
*********************************************************************************************************
No doubt the most celebrated video of the encounter between a man and the lion in his cage can be viewed at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79i84xYelZI
Enjoy!
============================================================================
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Lincoln's Precept
==========================================================================
The only Farewell Function in which I spoke a few words from the podium (other than mine own) was that of MSS.
In my Farewell, a few kind souls said many kind words without ifs and buts...and I reciprocated the general goodwill honestly.
After the Function was over, I was surprised when DB (who shared Office Space with me for two momentous decades) came up to me and said he was very disappointed since he had great expectations of fireworks from me. I was rather taken aback since I didn't expect such a remark from him...it just shows, I don't know what.
The other was the Farewell we gave to MSS. The HoD, Professor BC, made only one significant remark in his Opening Address:
"SDM used to tell me that MSS was the Lower Court while he himself was the Higher Court".
SDM meant that MSS and himself were the only True Masters of Mechanics, but while MSS knew only Classical Mechanics, he himself knew Quantum Mechanics as well like the back of his palm...typical of SDM boasts.
This remark of SDM was new to me and so I went up and said spontaneously:
"I am the only one in the world who attended both the Courts and benefited immensely"
**************************************************************************************************************
MSS once told me that soon after his M Sc from Patiala University around 1947, he joined as a Temporary Lecturer of Physics in one of the colleges in Punjab.
A week after his joining, the Principal of his College who was a Professor of English summoned MSS to his home and dumped his radio receiver set in MSS's lap and said:
"You are a Physics graduate, no? See what is wrong with this damn thing and set it right"
MSS was flummoxed at the great expectations from a Physics graduate, and since he was no radio buff like Feynman, he didn't know what to do. He had half a mind to take the set home, get it repaired from a shop footing the bill himself, and pass it off as if he himself did the repair work. But MSS was not only honest but also wise, and on second thoughts confessed that his Special Paper was Fluid Mechanics and not Electronics.
Upon which, the Principal went in and brought out half a dozen fountain pens of his joint family that were all as broke as Ten Commandments for repair...
Luckily MSS got the offer of an RS at IIT KGP, ditched Punjab and ran to Bengal...Punjab's loss was Bengal's gain.
Folks expect too much from Physics Graduates.
********************************************************************************************
There was another Sardarjee who was wiser than MSS himself.
JSV was our B Sc student and the son of a local carpenter of great repute (we still use the three teak cots and the dining set we bought from him...they are as good as new).
JSV was unwilling to take up the family profession and so joined our B Sc Program. The only obstacle for JSV from passing out with his coveted Degree was the other Sardarjee (MSS) who failed him in his Paper thrice; and it was his last chance.
The Great Carpenter himself was stern in his Ethics...once he rebuked an IIT Professor who asked him to waive the hefty Sales Tax since he didn't need any Receipt:
"If learned people like you refuse to pay taxes, how will the WB Govt run?"
But one's own son is always one's Achilles Heel and word was passed on to MSS to be kind in the final attempt. And MSS told me that he would pass the kid this time; and asked me to accompany him in the Lab Viva saying that he would ask only one simple question and I should do the rest of the honors.
So, when we both went over to JSV who was trembling on seeing MSS, the only question MSS put was:
"State Ohm's Law"
JSV stood stock still saying nothing and looking down on the ground beneath his feet grimly.
MSS repeated several times:
"Can't you state Ohm's Law?"
No response.
I then took over and JSV opened like a sunflower in the morning...I am not only kind but also look kind...ask anyone {;-}
So, JSV passed; but not before MSS beckoned him and said:
"You passed this time, but tell me why you didn't answer my question...don't you know Ohm's Law which every school boy knows?"
"Sir, I expected tough questions from you; but when you started with a trivial question on Ohm's Law I suspected there must be some deeper and darker secrets about Ohm's Law and so thought it better to keep silent"
*****************************************************************************************************************
JSV was following Abraham Lincoln's famous dictum:
"It is better to be silent and suspected a fool rather than speak out and remove the doubt"
==========================================================================
The only Farewell Function in which I spoke a few words from the podium (other than mine own) was that of MSS.
In my Farewell, a few kind souls said many kind words without ifs and buts...and I reciprocated the general goodwill honestly.
After the Function was over, I was surprised when DB (who shared Office Space with me for two momentous decades) came up to me and said he was very disappointed since he had great expectations of fireworks from me. I was rather taken aback since I didn't expect such a remark from him...it just shows, I don't know what.
The other was the Farewell we gave to MSS. The HoD, Professor BC, made only one significant remark in his Opening Address:
"SDM used to tell me that MSS was the Lower Court while he himself was the Higher Court".
SDM meant that MSS and himself were the only True Masters of Mechanics, but while MSS knew only Classical Mechanics, he himself knew Quantum Mechanics as well like the back of his palm...typical of SDM boasts.
This remark of SDM was new to me and so I went up and said spontaneously:
"I am the only one in the world who attended both the Courts and benefited immensely"
**************************************************************************************************************
MSS once told me that soon after his M Sc from Patiala University around 1947, he joined as a Temporary Lecturer of Physics in one of the colleges in Punjab.
A week after his joining, the Principal of his College who was a Professor of English summoned MSS to his home and dumped his radio receiver set in MSS's lap and said:
"You are a Physics graduate, no? See what is wrong with this damn thing and set it right"
MSS was flummoxed at the great expectations from a Physics graduate, and since he was no radio buff like Feynman, he didn't know what to do. He had half a mind to take the set home, get it repaired from a shop footing the bill himself, and pass it off as if he himself did the repair work. But MSS was not only honest but also wise, and on second thoughts confessed that his Special Paper was Fluid Mechanics and not Electronics.
Upon which, the Principal went in and brought out half a dozen fountain pens of his joint family that were all as broke as Ten Commandments for repair...
Luckily MSS got the offer of an RS at IIT KGP, ditched Punjab and ran to Bengal...Punjab's loss was Bengal's gain.
Folks expect too much from Physics Graduates.
********************************************************************************************
There was another Sardarjee who was wiser than MSS himself.
JSV was our B Sc student and the son of a local carpenter of great repute (we still use the three teak cots and the dining set we bought from him...they are as good as new).
JSV was unwilling to take up the family profession and so joined our B Sc Program. The only obstacle for JSV from passing out with his coveted Degree was the other Sardarjee (MSS) who failed him in his Paper thrice; and it was his last chance.
The Great Carpenter himself was stern in his Ethics...once he rebuked an IIT Professor who asked him to waive the hefty Sales Tax since he didn't need any Receipt:
"If learned people like you refuse to pay taxes, how will the WB Govt run?"
But one's own son is always one's Achilles Heel and word was passed on to MSS to be kind in the final attempt. And MSS told me that he would pass the kid this time; and asked me to accompany him in the Lab Viva saying that he would ask only one simple question and I should do the rest of the honors.
So, when we both went over to JSV who was trembling on seeing MSS, the only question MSS put was:
"State Ohm's Law"
JSV stood stock still saying nothing and looking down on the ground beneath his feet grimly.
MSS repeated several times:
"Can't you state Ohm's Law?"
No response.
I then took over and JSV opened like a sunflower in the morning...I am not only kind but also look kind...ask anyone {;-}
So, JSV passed; but not before MSS beckoned him and said:
"You passed this time, but tell me why you didn't answer my question...don't you know Ohm's Law which every school boy knows?"
"Sir, I expected tough questions from you; but when you started with a trivial question on Ohm's Law I suspected there must be some deeper and darker secrets about Ohm's Law and so thought it better to keep silent"
*****************************************************************************************************************
JSV was following Abraham Lincoln's famous dictum:
"It is better to be silent and suspected a fool rather than speak out and remove the doubt"
==========================================================================
Monday, September 5, 2011
Hyderabad Inc
=========================================================================
From childhood till date, I have always looked for 'interesting' things and people as opposed to 'useful' ones. This is a lacuna in my character and the worse thing about it is that I am not ashamed of it; and happily prefer to be taunted about my uselessness by a couple of dozen members of my sober extended family.
The main reason why I stuck on to KGP like a leech for all those decades till they kicked me out is that KGP is in Bengal, and as everyone knows, Bengal and Bengalis are the most interesting things on earth.
Let me give you an example:
Indra of the Class of 98 flew straight from Calcutta to Princeton for his graduate studies. And, in his first mail to me after a stay of just one week there, he complained that all Americans are 'uneducated'...in the sense in which Om Puri lately complained of our rulers (Purisaheb retracted his statement, but so far Indra didn't his).
What bugged Indra seems to be that everyone there asked him politely during his 'orientation' where he hails from. And when Indra thumped his metaphorical chest and answered "Calcutta" in clipped tones, they turned their better ear to his side and said, "Where, where; what did you say; never heard of it...".
QED
After staying here for half a dozen years, I find Hyderabad equally interesting, if you look at it via Deccan Chronicle, and mix with the hoi polloi.
The other day I engaged an auto-rickshaw from my place to the center of the city and back...a travel of a couple of hours. The driver asked me if I had any objection if he took his friend along beside him in the driver's seat, and I said ok.
For the entire two hours the driver and his chum were talking about cheap food joints in Hyderabad contrasted with any other town in AP like Vizagh, Vijayawada, Guntur...how in this joint one gets biriyani plus roti for six rupees and how in the other you get a full meal for ten rupees, and comparing and contrasting a dozen of them with obvious relish. Note that autowallas roam around all over the twin cities and so they are the authorities on this subject. I was glued to their conversation and learned a lot and also vicariously enjoyed all those dishes...two full hours...no other topic was raised, and each was competing with the other for their high IT...this absorption in matters of cheap food never happened to me in all those scores of train journeys I had to make along the East Coast.
The place has everything from pin to elephant depending on your budget.
While booking our apartment in Nile Valley ultimately two years ago, we thought of window-shopping here and there for fun...we knew that for our measly budget the Valley of Nile was the only place...but what is the harm. After a couple of hoppings, we landed at a place which was barricaded by a tin sheet and the sentry stopped our measly-looking matchbox vintage Maruti car. And we asked him if he would allow us to visit the place. He replied that there is nothing to see inside except the Marketing Office; the buildings would take two years to come up. We said that is fine.
He then said that the starting price is Rs 5 crores and most of the bookings have been by film stars, just to frighten us. My son, being a Manager Material, said that is just fine for us...we just wanted to survey before committing...and winked. The chap smiled and permitted us to enter provided we leave our jalopy behind. All four of us trooped in and we entered the Pearly Gates of Heaven.. a really swanky centrally air-conditioned affair with fountains and mermaids swimming in them.
The whole thing was manned by half a dozen beauty queens and one of them approached my son, smiled, and pushed an application form onto his lap...and my son filled each entry by a fake name, address, take-home, and stuff and said he was a proxy for his well-to-do friend. And you know my son by now...part of his job is convincing Indra's Americans that his company's product is the best and cheapest...
The Queen gave all of us soft drinks and we left after our 'Mission Complete'.
Here is what makes Hyderabad interesting...from today's DC:
*************************************************************************************************************
...A fraud IT firm right in the hi-tech hub shut shop on Saturday after duping around 30,000 employees of their deposit money, ranging between Rs 50,000 and Rs 1 lakh each...the fraud was masterminded by the CEO @ Hyderabad, Head of the Vizagh branch, and Head of the Warangal branch. The trio went missing a week ago...Police suspects that the CEO might have absconded with at least Rs 15 crores collected from B Tech students and security deposits of employees...
****************************************************************************************************************
I guess I have a criminal bent of mind if tales of such con-artists fascinate me.
But Vinit says a propos of Teachers' Day that I am the World's Best Physics Teacher...
It figures...doesn't it?
===========================================================================
From childhood till date, I have always looked for 'interesting' things and people as opposed to 'useful' ones. This is a lacuna in my character and the worse thing about it is that I am not ashamed of it; and happily prefer to be taunted about my uselessness by a couple of dozen members of my sober extended family.
The main reason why I stuck on to KGP like a leech for all those decades till they kicked me out is that KGP is in Bengal, and as everyone knows, Bengal and Bengalis are the most interesting things on earth.
Let me give you an example:
Indra of the Class of 98 flew straight from Calcutta to Princeton for his graduate studies. And, in his first mail to me after a stay of just one week there, he complained that all Americans are 'uneducated'...in the sense in which Om Puri lately complained of our rulers (Purisaheb retracted his statement, but so far Indra didn't his).
What bugged Indra seems to be that everyone there asked him politely during his 'orientation' where he hails from. And when Indra thumped his metaphorical chest and answered "Calcutta" in clipped tones, they turned their better ear to his side and said, "Where, where; what did you say; never heard of it...".
QED
After staying here for half a dozen years, I find Hyderabad equally interesting, if you look at it via Deccan Chronicle, and mix with the hoi polloi.
The other day I engaged an auto-rickshaw from my place to the center of the city and back...a travel of a couple of hours. The driver asked me if I had any objection if he took his friend along beside him in the driver's seat, and I said ok.
For the entire two hours the driver and his chum were talking about cheap food joints in Hyderabad contrasted with any other town in AP like Vizagh, Vijayawada, Guntur...how in this joint one gets biriyani plus roti for six rupees and how in the other you get a full meal for ten rupees, and comparing and contrasting a dozen of them with obvious relish. Note that autowallas roam around all over the twin cities and so they are the authorities on this subject. I was glued to their conversation and learned a lot and also vicariously enjoyed all those dishes...two full hours...no other topic was raised, and each was competing with the other for their high IT...this absorption in matters of cheap food never happened to me in all those scores of train journeys I had to make along the East Coast.
The place has everything from pin to elephant depending on your budget.
While booking our apartment in Nile Valley ultimately two years ago, we thought of window-shopping here and there for fun...we knew that for our measly budget the Valley of Nile was the only place...but what is the harm. After a couple of hoppings, we landed at a place which was barricaded by a tin sheet and the sentry stopped our measly-looking matchbox vintage Maruti car. And we asked him if he would allow us to visit the place. He replied that there is nothing to see inside except the Marketing Office; the buildings would take two years to come up. We said that is fine.
He then said that the starting price is Rs 5 crores and most of the bookings have been by film stars, just to frighten us. My son, being a Manager Material, said that is just fine for us...we just wanted to survey before committing...and winked. The chap smiled and permitted us to enter provided we leave our jalopy behind. All four of us trooped in and we entered the Pearly Gates of Heaven.. a really swanky centrally air-conditioned affair with fountains and mermaids swimming in them.
The whole thing was manned by half a dozen beauty queens and one of them approached my son, smiled, and pushed an application form onto his lap...and my son filled each entry by a fake name, address, take-home, and stuff and said he was a proxy for his well-to-do friend. And you know my son by now...part of his job is convincing Indra's Americans that his company's product is the best and cheapest...
The Queen gave all of us soft drinks and we left after our 'Mission Complete'.
Here is what makes Hyderabad interesting...from today's DC:
*************************************************************************************************************
...A fraud IT firm right in the hi-tech hub shut shop on Saturday after duping around 30,000 employees of their deposit money, ranging between Rs 50,000 and Rs 1 lakh each...the fraud was masterminded by the CEO @ Hyderabad, Head of the Vizagh branch, and Head of the Warangal branch. The trio went missing a week ago...Police suspects that the CEO might have absconded with at least Rs 15 crores collected from B Tech students and security deposits of employees...
****************************************************************************************************************
I guess I have a criminal bent of mind if tales of such con-artists fascinate me.
But Vinit says a propos of Teachers' Day that I am the World's Best Physics Teacher...
It figures...doesn't it?
===========================================================================
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Teachers' Day
=========================================================================
It is now past midnight here and so I am into the Teachers' Day of India.
The elevation of the Birthday of our ex-President and ex-Vice Chancellor of our AU, Sri S. Radhakrishnan, is a recent phenomenon.
But in our country Teachers used to be accorded unconditional reverence from the Vedic Ages to the Puranic.
The story in Mahabharat of Arjun's Guru, Dronacharya, demanding and getting the right thumb of his online-disciple, Ekalavya, is the epitome of academic controversy. Apparently the demand and the act was watched by Dron's own son Ashwatthama who resented it inwardly.
But Arjun was the favorite disciple of Dron; still I suppose this type of surgical negative favoritism is rare...I may say that I too had my favorites during my 40-year stint as a Teacher at IIT KGP, although I didn't demand anyone's metaphorical thumb...all of them were my favorites {;-}
There is this charming story told by our Telugu Teacher about the first encounter between Arjun and Dron as adversaries:
At the very end of Pandava's one-year hiding, Kauravas stole a thousand cows of the King in whose court Pandavas had sought shelter. Arjun happened to launch the counter attack and on seeing his fond Teacher Dron on the other side, he sent a missile that wound its way all around and ended up at the feet of Dron, thus paying homage to his Teacher, Dron,...much like DB finding his Teacher and Ph D Guide as the chief-examiner in his Professor's Interview on the other side of the slaughter-table.
In our childhood, the Teachers' Day was celebrated on the Vijayadasami Day at the end of Durga Pujas. Our poorly paid teachers used to visit our homes in their best khadi garments, and we students used to be a given a specially designed bow and arrow system, which when activated used to throw flowers on our teachers seated in our best chair...after which the teachers would cuddle and bless us, and our parents used to make us give presents to them...often a jibba and a few costly rupees.
During our time, the students of IIT KGP used to pay their homage to their teachers in their own perverse way on the Foundation Day. In the evening there was this Teachers vs Students Soccer Match. The day was in mid-August and it used to rain invariably making the ground slushy and rainy and the best weather for Footer. The Teacher's Team was headed by the senior-most teacher into his retirement age and the other members included the Gymakhana President, Deans and other innocent celebrities.
In the first half the students used to score half a dozen goals impertinently and that was too much because the Teachers have to win by default. So, in the second half, the students pretended to lose their footwork and sustained calculated injuries and did everything short of self-goals...eventually they had to blindfold their goalkeeper...
Talking of soccer, my ex-student turned Professor T. B. Ghosh told me this story:
Soon after his Ph D at KGP, he got a chance as a Lecturer in the newly started Arunchal Pradesh University. It was a scary place then, particularly for Bengalis, but he decided to take it up for one year to gain necessary experience before he returned to KGP. And, he was subjected to subdued animosity and suspicion during his first month. Then came the rains and TBG couldn't resist the temptation of soccer. So, he requested his students to give him a place in one of the teams.
That's it!!! He became an instant Messi (he was a keen footballer) and his students were begging him not to quit...he became their Soccer Teacher and got fabulous mementos which he showed me.
And on his return from an year's stay in England, he came to my room and gave me a beautiful patent leather book-marker with the London Tower, royal ensigns and famous quotes embossed in gilt on it...it must be still with me somewhere...although he is no longer with us sadly...
I didn't know for long that before he became the Vice-President of our Free India, the Teacher-Supreme, Radhakrishnan was Indian Ambassador to the Soviet Union and had cordial relations with Joseph Stalin...Philosopher vis-a-vis Dictator:
"...In 1949, Dr. Radhakrishnan was appointed ambassador to the Soviet Union. The appointment raised many eyebrows because people wondered what kind of an impression Radhakrishnan, a student of idealist philosophy, would make on Joseph Stalin, an ardent communist. In 1950, Radhakrishnan was called to the Kremlin to meet with the Premier...Radhakrishnan told Stalin, "We had an emperor in India who, after bloody victory, renounced war and became a monk. You have waded your way to power through force. Who knows that might happen to you also." Radhakrishnan was referring to Stalin's infamous "bloody" purges. Stalin smiled and replied, "Yes, miracles do happen sometimes. I was in a theological seminary for five years!"
On April 5, 1952, a few days before Radhakrishnan's departure for India, Stalin called on Radhakrishnan. Radhakrishnan records Stalin's face being bloated. Radhakrishnan patted him on the cheek and on the back. Stalin said, "You are the first person to treat me as a human being and not as a monster. You are leaving us and I am sad. I want you to live long. I have not long to live." Stalin died six months later. Radhakrishnan's legacy in Moscow was a firm and friendly understanding between India and the Soviet Union. A relationship which has flourished over the years and has become even stronger."
http://www.liveindia.com/freedomfighters/11.html
==========================================================================
It is now past midnight here and so I am into the Teachers' Day of India.
The elevation of the Birthday of our ex-President and ex-Vice Chancellor of our AU, Sri S. Radhakrishnan, is a recent phenomenon.
But in our country Teachers used to be accorded unconditional reverence from the Vedic Ages to the Puranic.
The story in Mahabharat of Arjun's Guru, Dronacharya, demanding and getting the right thumb of his online-disciple, Ekalavya, is the epitome of academic controversy. Apparently the demand and the act was watched by Dron's own son Ashwatthama who resented it inwardly.
But Arjun was the favorite disciple of Dron; still I suppose this type of surgical negative favoritism is rare...I may say that I too had my favorites during my 40-year stint as a Teacher at IIT KGP, although I didn't demand anyone's metaphorical thumb...all of them were my favorites {;-}
There is this charming story told by our Telugu Teacher about the first encounter between Arjun and Dron as adversaries:
At the very end of Pandava's one-year hiding, Kauravas stole a thousand cows of the King in whose court Pandavas had sought shelter. Arjun happened to launch the counter attack and on seeing his fond Teacher Dron on the other side, he sent a missile that wound its way all around and ended up at the feet of Dron, thus paying homage to his Teacher, Dron,...much like DB finding his Teacher and Ph D Guide as the chief-examiner in his Professor's Interview on the other side of the slaughter-table.
In our childhood, the Teachers' Day was celebrated on the Vijayadasami Day at the end of Durga Pujas. Our poorly paid teachers used to visit our homes in their best khadi garments, and we students used to be a given a specially designed bow and arrow system, which when activated used to throw flowers on our teachers seated in our best chair...after which the teachers would cuddle and bless us, and our parents used to make us give presents to them...often a jibba and a few costly rupees.
During our time, the students of IIT KGP used to pay their homage to their teachers in their own perverse way on the Foundation Day. In the evening there was this Teachers vs Students Soccer Match. The day was in mid-August and it used to rain invariably making the ground slushy and rainy and the best weather for Footer. The Teacher's Team was headed by the senior-most teacher into his retirement age and the other members included the Gymakhana President, Deans and other innocent celebrities.
In the first half the students used to score half a dozen goals impertinently and that was too much because the Teachers have to win by default. So, in the second half, the students pretended to lose their footwork and sustained calculated injuries and did everything short of self-goals...eventually they had to blindfold their goalkeeper...
Talking of soccer, my ex-student turned Professor T. B. Ghosh told me this story:
Soon after his Ph D at KGP, he got a chance as a Lecturer in the newly started Arunchal Pradesh University. It was a scary place then, particularly for Bengalis, but he decided to take it up for one year to gain necessary experience before he returned to KGP. And, he was subjected to subdued animosity and suspicion during his first month. Then came the rains and TBG couldn't resist the temptation of soccer. So, he requested his students to give him a place in one of the teams.
That's it!!! He became an instant Messi (he was a keen footballer) and his students were begging him not to quit...he became their Soccer Teacher and got fabulous mementos which he showed me.
And on his return from an year's stay in England, he came to my room and gave me a beautiful patent leather book-marker with the London Tower, royal ensigns and famous quotes embossed in gilt on it...it must be still with me somewhere...although he is no longer with us sadly...
I didn't know for long that before he became the Vice-President of our Free India, the Teacher-Supreme, Radhakrishnan was Indian Ambassador to the Soviet Union and had cordial relations with Joseph Stalin...Philosopher vis-a-vis Dictator:
"...In 1949, Dr. Radhakrishnan was appointed ambassador to the Soviet Union. The appointment raised many eyebrows because people wondered what kind of an impression Radhakrishnan, a student of idealist philosophy, would make on Joseph Stalin, an ardent communist. In 1950, Radhakrishnan was called to the Kremlin to meet with the Premier...Radhakrishnan told Stalin, "We had an emperor in India who, after bloody victory, renounced war and became a monk. You have waded your way to power through force. Who knows that might happen to you also." Radhakrishnan was referring to Stalin's infamous "bloody" purges. Stalin smiled and replied, "Yes, miracles do happen sometimes. I was in a theological seminary for five years!"
On April 5, 1952, a few days before Radhakrishnan's departure for India, Stalin called on Radhakrishnan. Radhakrishnan records Stalin's face being bloated. Radhakrishnan patted him on the cheek and on the back. Stalin said, "You are the first person to treat me as a human being and not as a monster. You are leaving us and I am sad. I want you to live long. I have not long to live." Stalin died six months later. Radhakrishnan's legacy in Moscow was a firm and friendly understanding between India and the Soviet Union. A relationship which has flourished over the years and has become even stronger."
http://www.liveindia.com/freedomfighters/11.html
==========================================================================
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Power Nappers
=========================================================================
From today's DC:
New Delhi, Sept 2:
The RJD Chief, Mr Lalu Prasad, was literally caught napping in the Lok Sabha on Friday. He was seen dozing in his allocated first row seat which is right in front of the Speaker's chair. The Speaker, Ms Meira Kumar, noticed him dozing and requested his party colleague, Mr Uma Shankar Singh, seated in the second row to wake him up.
"Umashankarji, please wake him up," Ms Kumar said. Mr Singh promptly tapped Prasad on his shoulder and pointed out that the Speaker had noticed him sleeping.
***********************************************************************************************************
Long time ago, I wrote that judges should learn from Teachers (of IIT KGP) how to tackle ladies who shake their legs relentlessly in their hallowed courts of law:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2010/02/shake-leg.html
I think it is now time that Speakers too should learn how to tackle their MPs who are found napping harmlessly. Ignore them and if and when they happen to wake up, ask them to go the canteen, have a cup of hot tea and a wash.
I guess a power-nap is one of those unshakable parliamentary privileges of which the papers are full these days.
If necessary the Speaker should switch on Saigal's classic rendering:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX3PjVsLKu4
In the present case, there is ample reason for a nap...the proceedings must be terribly boring like the proverbial Day after the Ramlila Fair that lasted a dozen days and nights.
I guess, if we ignore Brahma's one-minute wink that equals a thousand year's slumber on earth, the record-breaking sleep (including coma) goes to Rip Van Winkle. It lasted a good 20 years.
Next comes Urmila-di's 14 year sleep that was exchanged with Laxman's wakefulness on his 24/7 watch over the safety of his brother Raam and his wife (Raam's).
Kumbhakarna's 6-months' sleep followed by 6-months' wakefulness doesn't count...they cancel each other.
Coming to Mahabharat, the power nap of Lord Krishna was momentous. Our Telugu Teacher in school told us that Duryodhan came to seek Krishna's help in the forthcoming Kurukshetra Battle and found him asleep on his sofa-cum-bed. And decided to wait it out and took up an empty chair at the head of the sofa. Arjun came down after a few moments but lodged himself right at the feet of Krishna.
As soon as he woke up, Krishna naturally noticed Arjun and then, turning his head saw Duryodhan. And was in a fix when he came to know that both had arrived on the same mission. To resolve his dilemma, Krishna proposed that he would give away his armies to one and himself to the other. And gave the first choice to Arjun. At which Duryodhan protested saying he arrived first. But Krishna retorted that he saw Arjun first, didn't he?
As it happens Arjun opted for Krishna, leaving his armies to Duryodhan which pleased him (Duryodhan) mightily...it is a case of what the doctor ordered happening to precisely coincide with what the patient wanted.
Ever since my teens I had been a light sleeper. I never slept in my class when I was a student (I bunked). And never slept in the post-lunch lab classes at KGP which were irresistibly somnolent during steamy March. I used to bore my junior colleagues with tall tales much to their annoyance...they preferred to doze (along with the students).
But once I had to pay through my nose for oversleeping. It was like this:
I was traveling from Gudur to KGP by the Howarh Janata Express which used to take a good 38 hours for its leisurely journey. After 24 hours I had this fever. So I took a Codopyrin tablet (I used to keep them in my wallet) and lay down on my upper berth. When I woke up and asked which station it is, they said it is Balasore at midnight. So, since it is 2 more hours to KGP I took another tablet and slept off.
When I next woke up and asked which station it was, they said Uluberia...past KGP.
I jumped down, collected my backpack and just got off while the train steamed off as if it was in a desperate hurry.
It was dawn and I thought I would purchase a ticket back to KGP and board the next local train. I could easily have gone out by the backdoor, present myself before the sleepy counter clerk and buy the return ticket which cost Rs 2 only.
But I was a Gandhian like Anna and so told the Station Master what happened thinking that he would let me off with the fare between KGP and Uluberia both ways.
But he went through the rule book minutely and slapped on me a fine of Rs 10 for oversleeping, double the onward fare from KGP to UBA (since it was the second stop...Pansura was the first after KGP) and the return fare by the Local.
He emptied my wallet pretty fine...pun intended.
************************************************************************************************************
Today the good old ToI broke a record of sorts.
ALL its front page headlines had to do with corruption stories of the high and the mighty:
1. Anna calling a Minister a 'liar' (privileged)
2. The Director General of the Anti-Corruption Bureau was shunted to a punishment posting as he was found guilty of alleged acts of corruption.
3.The Judge of a Calcutta High Court would be put through the Impeachment Proceedings in Lok Sabha on corruption charges of decades vintage even after he resigned apparently.
4. Speaker sacks her 'tainted secretary'.
The redeeming feature is the color photo of Lionel Messi in action...he is as slippery on the football field as he was at the Calcutta Airport ditching his waiting fans (corruptly).
***************************************************************************************************************
DC Sports Page:
"Former England captain Nasser Hussain's controversial comparison of Indian fielders to 'donkeys' on Friday, drew flak from former cricketers and the BCCI which has promised to look into what it called 'totally uncalled for' remarks..."
gps: Donkey agrees:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2009/02/donkeys-lament.html
=========================================================================
From today's DC:
New Delhi, Sept 2:
The RJD Chief, Mr Lalu Prasad, was literally caught napping in the Lok Sabha on Friday. He was seen dozing in his allocated first row seat which is right in front of the Speaker's chair. The Speaker, Ms Meira Kumar, noticed him dozing and requested his party colleague, Mr Uma Shankar Singh, seated in the second row to wake him up.
"Umashankarji, please wake him up," Ms Kumar said. Mr Singh promptly tapped Prasad on his shoulder and pointed out that the Speaker had noticed him sleeping.
***********************************************************************************************************
Long time ago, I wrote that judges should learn from Teachers (of IIT KGP) how to tackle ladies who shake their legs relentlessly in their hallowed courts of law:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2010/02/shake-leg.html
I think it is now time that Speakers too should learn how to tackle their MPs who are found napping harmlessly. Ignore them and if and when they happen to wake up, ask them to go the canteen, have a cup of hot tea and a wash.
I guess a power-nap is one of those unshakable parliamentary privileges of which the papers are full these days.
If necessary the Speaker should switch on Saigal's classic rendering:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX3PjVsLKu4
In the present case, there is ample reason for a nap...the proceedings must be terribly boring like the proverbial Day after the Ramlila Fair that lasted a dozen days and nights.
I guess, if we ignore Brahma's one-minute wink that equals a thousand year's slumber on earth, the record-breaking sleep (including coma) goes to Rip Van Winkle. It lasted a good 20 years.
Next comes Urmila-di's 14 year sleep that was exchanged with Laxman's wakefulness on his 24/7 watch over the safety of his brother Raam and his wife (Raam's).
Kumbhakarna's 6-months' sleep followed by 6-months' wakefulness doesn't count...they cancel each other.
Coming to Mahabharat, the power nap of Lord Krishna was momentous. Our Telugu Teacher in school told us that Duryodhan came to seek Krishna's help in the forthcoming Kurukshetra Battle and found him asleep on his sofa-cum-bed. And decided to wait it out and took up an empty chair at the head of the sofa. Arjun came down after a few moments but lodged himself right at the feet of Krishna.
As soon as he woke up, Krishna naturally noticed Arjun and then, turning his head saw Duryodhan. And was in a fix when he came to know that both had arrived on the same mission. To resolve his dilemma, Krishna proposed that he would give away his armies to one and himself to the other. And gave the first choice to Arjun. At which Duryodhan protested saying he arrived first. But Krishna retorted that he saw Arjun first, didn't he?
As it happens Arjun opted for Krishna, leaving his armies to Duryodhan which pleased him (Duryodhan) mightily...it is a case of what the doctor ordered happening to precisely coincide with what the patient wanted.
Ever since my teens I had been a light sleeper. I never slept in my class when I was a student (I bunked). And never slept in the post-lunch lab classes at KGP which were irresistibly somnolent during steamy March. I used to bore my junior colleagues with tall tales much to their annoyance...they preferred to doze (along with the students).
But once I had to pay through my nose for oversleeping. It was like this:
I was traveling from Gudur to KGP by the Howarh Janata Express which used to take a good 38 hours for its leisurely journey. After 24 hours I had this fever. So I took a Codopyrin tablet (I used to keep them in my wallet) and lay down on my upper berth. When I woke up and asked which station it is, they said it is Balasore at midnight. So, since it is 2 more hours to KGP I took another tablet and slept off.
When I next woke up and asked which station it was, they said Uluberia...past KGP.
I jumped down, collected my backpack and just got off while the train steamed off as if it was in a desperate hurry.
It was dawn and I thought I would purchase a ticket back to KGP and board the next local train. I could easily have gone out by the backdoor, present myself before the sleepy counter clerk and buy the return ticket which cost Rs 2 only.
But I was a Gandhian like Anna and so told the Station Master what happened thinking that he would let me off with the fare between KGP and Uluberia both ways.
But he went through the rule book minutely and slapped on me a fine of Rs 10 for oversleeping, double the onward fare from KGP to UBA (since it was the second stop...Pansura was the first after KGP) and the return fare by the Local.
He emptied my wallet pretty fine...pun intended.
************************************************************************************************************
Anna Domini
Today the good old ToI broke a record of sorts.
ALL its front page headlines had to do with corruption stories of the high and the mighty:
1. Anna calling a Minister a 'liar' (privileged)
2. The Director General of the Anti-Corruption Bureau was shunted to a punishment posting as he was found guilty of alleged acts of corruption.
3.The Judge of a Calcutta High Court would be put through the Impeachment Proceedings in Lok Sabha on corruption charges of decades vintage even after he resigned apparently.
4. Speaker sacks her 'tainted secretary'.
The redeeming feature is the color photo of Lionel Messi in action...he is as slippery on the football field as he was at the Calcutta Airport ditching his waiting fans (corruptly).
***************************************************************************************************************
Donkey's Lament
DC Sports Page:
"Former England captain Nasser Hussain's controversial comparison of Indian fielders to 'donkeys' on Friday, drew flak from former cricketers and the BCCI which has promised to look into what it called 'totally uncalled for' remarks..."
gps: Donkey agrees:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2009/02/donkeys-lament.html
=========================================================================
Friday, September 2, 2011
Annapolice
===========================================================================
Now that the Anna tsunami has subsided and Anna has gone home to his village for a rousing welcome, it is a pleasure to watch the reactions of kings and cabbages.
Many have compared this movement with the JP movement in 1975.
I am lucky to have watched both as a spectator. And most readers of this blog have missed the earlier one, for sure.
There is absolutely no comparison between the two.
For one thing, as Thurber's Mathews put it crisply: "The setup is different today".
I can contrast the two generations this way:
The intake at all IITs put together was like 1000 then. Now it is about ten times more and no takers for some. All this explosion of population is among the youth. So, India is roughly that much younger now.
It was the youth who filled the prisons then and it is the youth that were waving flags now. But now they have 100 channel color TVs sprinkled with 24/7 newscasts, Internet, Cell Phones, Automobiles and...Money, none of which was there then.
Anna is no JP but for his grit.
And Indiraji was ten times more adamant and powerful than her (D-i-L + her PM).
And, the issues are different. Then it was the autocratic attitude of Indirajee. Now it is the mammoth corruption and indulgence of it from, as our policewoman says, PM to patwari.
JP was a leader...Anna is a symbol.
When everything is said, what happened at Ramila recently is a flash in the pan. I doubt if any other issue would get this response.
When Indirajee imposed her emergency, the nation fell silent for about 2 years till they got a chance to vote.
When Anna launched his movement and got overwhelming youthful response, the politicians in power were caught with their pants and panties down in a fortnight...the result was a squealing Parliament...I beg your pardon.
************************************************************************************************************
Excerpts from DC of yesterday:
1. The Policewoman:
"I remember how till April this year, when Anna began his fast at Jantar Mantar, we ran from pillar to post meeting a cross-section of political leaders, and even the Prime Minister, stressing on the need for an effective and strong Jan Lokpal Bill. But no one listened to us.
I feel the seventh day and the 11th day of Anna's fast in August were the most crucial. On the seventh day, the crowd started getting restive seeing the police buildup. This is where my association with the police helped. I told the police they should simply follow the law and not their political masters. I strongly feel that the saddest day of my life was the day when I had to do the 'political ghoongat act'. I was sad to to see a frail Anna on the 11th day of his fast with no help coming from any quarter. The government was only interested in seeing how long the protest would last and to keep an eye on the head count there...."
gps: Bravo! What you say has the ring of truth.
2. The Politburo Member:
"...But here we must not ignore the fact that the agitation was largely supported by the middle class, and not by all sections of the society particularly the poor...
...We also did not see Muslims and other minorities coming out in support of the agitation.
Nor did the movement see dalits or other weaker sections participating in the protests...
...There is an urgent need for electoral reforms..."
gps: Yesterday "I had a dream"...that this Politburo Member was going on a fast unto death at Ramlila with all his supporters he mentioned above.
His Agenda was: "Electoral Reforms".
What a sweet dream!!!
************************************************************************************************************
From today's DC:
"It is usually the Anti-Corruption Bureau which keeps a tab on corrupt officials but it came to light recently that their office in Nellore too was under constant vigil.
An ACB official said that it was suspected that some departments, where corruption was a routine affair, might be keeping a tab on their movements to escape before raids.
'We know that some locals have been hired by parties with vested interests to alert them about our movements. In turn, we have told the local youths that we will pay Rs 1,000 if they gather information about the persons observing us,' the official said...The official added that it was a common practice for corrupt officials to hire outsiders to alert them whenever new faces approached their offices'..."
gps: This reminds me of the alleged practice of the Jumbo first years at KGP to keep lookouts and inform them if the teacher is carrying a bundle of 300 question papersfor a 'surprise test'.
Some teachers used to walk in breezily with a file, and after 10 minutes their attendant used to carry the bundle of QPs.
'To wit and to outwit' was the name of the game!
P.S. I never took a class test, nor even attendance, in Jumbo Classes.
===========================================================================
Now that the Anna tsunami has subsided and Anna has gone home to his village for a rousing welcome, it is a pleasure to watch the reactions of kings and cabbages.
Many have compared this movement with the JP movement in 1975.
I am lucky to have watched both as a spectator. And most readers of this blog have missed the earlier one, for sure.
There is absolutely no comparison between the two.
For one thing, as Thurber's Mathews put it crisply: "The setup is different today".
I can contrast the two generations this way:
The intake at all IITs put together was like 1000 then. Now it is about ten times more and no takers for some. All this explosion of population is among the youth. So, India is roughly that much younger now.
It was the youth who filled the prisons then and it is the youth that were waving flags now. But now they have 100 channel color TVs sprinkled with 24/7 newscasts, Internet, Cell Phones, Automobiles and...Money, none of which was there then.
Anna is no JP but for his grit.
And Indiraji was ten times more adamant and powerful than her (D-i-L + her PM).
And, the issues are different. Then it was the autocratic attitude of Indirajee. Now it is the mammoth corruption and indulgence of it from, as our policewoman says, PM to patwari.
JP was a leader...Anna is a symbol.
When everything is said, what happened at Ramila recently is a flash in the pan. I doubt if any other issue would get this response.
When Indirajee imposed her emergency, the nation fell silent for about 2 years till they got a chance to vote.
When Anna launched his movement and got overwhelming youthful response, the politicians in power were caught with their pants and panties down in a fortnight...the result was a squealing Parliament...I beg your pardon.
************************************************************************************************************
Excerpts from DC of yesterday:
1. The Policewoman:
"I remember how till April this year, when Anna began his fast at Jantar Mantar, we ran from pillar to post meeting a cross-section of political leaders, and even the Prime Minister, stressing on the need for an effective and strong Jan Lokpal Bill. But no one listened to us.
I feel the seventh day and the 11th day of Anna's fast in August were the most crucial. On the seventh day, the crowd started getting restive seeing the police buildup. This is where my association with the police helped. I told the police they should simply follow the law and not their political masters. I strongly feel that the saddest day of my life was the day when I had to do the 'political ghoongat act'. I was sad to to see a frail Anna on the 11th day of his fast with no help coming from any quarter. The government was only interested in seeing how long the protest would last and to keep an eye on the head count there...."
gps: Bravo! What you say has the ring of truth.
2. The Politburo Member:
"...But here we must not ignore the fact that the agitation was largely supported by the middle class, and not by all sections of the society particularly the poor...
...We also did not see Muslims and other minorities coming out in support of the agitation.
Nor did the movement see dalits or other weaker sections participating in the protests...
...There is an urgent need for electoral reforms..."
gps: Yesterday "I had a dream"...that this Politburo Member was going on a fast unto death at Ramlila with all his supporters he mentioned above.
His Agenda was: "Electoral Reforms".
What a sweet dream!!!
************************************************************************************************************
Tom & Jerry
From today's DC:
"It is usually the Anti-Corruption Bureau which keeps a tab on corrupt officials but it came to light recently that their office in Nellore too was under constant vigil.
An ACB official said that it was suspected that some departments, where corruption was a routine affair, might be keeping a tab on their movements to escape before raids.
'We know that some locals have been hired by parties with vested interests to alert them about our movements. In turn, we have told the local youths that we will pay Rs 1,000 if they gather information about the persons observing us,' the official said...The official added that it was a common practice for corrupt officials to hire outsiders to alert them whenever new faces approached their offices'..."
gps: This reminds me of the alleged practice of the Jumbo first years at KGP to keep lookouts and inform them if the teacher is carrying a bundle of 300 question papersfor a 'surprise test'.
Some teachers used to walk in breezily with a file, and after 10 minutes their attendant used to carry the bundle of QPs.
'To wit and to outwit' was the name of the game!
P.S. I never took a class test, nor even attendance, in Jumbo Classes.
===========================================================================
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Carpentry
==========================================================================
Two and half years ago, my son and I booked an apartment in Nile Valley right here in Hyderabad.
That was supposed to be a Gated Community.
When we booked, there wasn't even a Gate...it was all boulders on a hill. There was a Model House and a couple of salesmen with hand fans and no customers. We were the early birds. This type of risk is typical of me.
Within a month there was this Recession and a worldwide crash of everything including Real Estate. We thought our hard-earned lifetime savings have gone down the blackest of black holes.
But things picked up soon enough for the Indian Knowledge Economy and there was this spurt in demand for housing again.
And there was an unexpected call from the Builders that our Apartment is ready and it now costs for new customers almost double of what we had paid...
Yesterday we went over and took 'possession' of the 3-bedroom 3-bathroom dream home (for our hazy dreams).
And today the carpenter came down for the interior wood-work like shelves, almirahs, kitchen modules, attic racks, in short the 'interiors'.
I have had many exasperating encounters with carpenters and I firmly believe Carpentry is voodoo-science.
But, for the moment this clip will do:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ8D-bnwBK0&feature=related
Enjoy!
============================================================================
Two and half years ago, my son and I booked an apartment in Nile Valley right here in Hyderabad.
That was supposed to be a Gated Community.
When we booked, there wasn't even a Gate...it was all boulders on a hill. There was a Model House and a couple of salesmen with hand fans and no customers. We were the early birds. This type of risk is typical of me.
Within a month there was this Recession and a worldwide crash of everything including Real Estate. We thought our hard-earned lifetime savings have gone down the blackest of black holes.
But things picked up soon enough for the Indian Knowledge Economy and there was this spurt in demand for housing again.
And there was an unexpected call from the Builders that our Apartment is ready and it now costs for new customers almost double of what we had paid...
Yesterday we went over and took 'possession' of the 3-bedroom 3-bathroom dream home (for our hazy dreams).
And today the carpenter came down for the interior wood-work like shelves, almirahs, kitchen modules, attic racks, in short the 'interiors'.
I have had many exasperating encounters with carpenters and I firmly believe Carpentry is voodoo-science.
But, for the moment this clip will do:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ8D-bnwBK0&feature=related
Enjoy!
============================================================================
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
