Saturday, August 21, 2010

CPM vs VPM

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Hereinafter, CPM stands for the newly joined Customer Project Manager, while VPM sits for the old and hidebound Vendor Project Manager.

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CPM: Hi, I am the new CPM

VPM: Hearty Welcome! I do hope you like the Product PT5 we are vending you

CPM: It is indeed excellent but I think you can install the later Sumatra 5.22 version

VPM: We have an even better latest Borneo 9.48 version coming up. It will just cost $ 500,000, double of the one we sold you. we can release it next month

CPM: I have talked to my CEO & the Pantry Girl; they are happy with the older version. But I suppose you can readily update it by tweaking PQS with LMK

VPM: LMK is excellent, but it will need Platform No. 14 instead of the 7 you have. We can update your Platform for a nominal $ 100,000

CPM: I have talked to our President & the Messenger Boy and they say "Old is Gold". But what about XRT instead of TGP?

VPM: Excellent suggestion. Only it will require a new de-bugging device. We supply this patch for almost free @ $ 15,000

CPM: I have put it to the Board & the HRM dame. They say it would delay the Release by 5 days. We are in a hurry

VPM: The best suggestion from my side would be an onsite visit for 3 months of our Senior Software Engineer and his QA staff. All we ask is hospitality in a 5-Star Hotel and Airfare in Business Class. We charge ZERO extra

CPM: All airports are closed here due to severe thunderstorms and all 5-star hotels are overbooked. Just stick with your old Product. I am going on vacation by road for 6 months. Nice talking to you

VPM: Have a Nice Vacation! Please coach your latest CPM before you leave.

Tata Bye BYE!!!!


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