CAS & OAS

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In what follows CAS & OAS refer to Closed Access System & Open Access System respectively.

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Libraries:

CAS: At our University during the 1950s our Old Library had only CAS: you are not allowed to access the book-shelves. You just write down the name of the book you want in the Requisition Register, return the next day and try your luck with the comely Library Assistant...

OAS: When I entered the Central Library at IIT KGP in 1965, I was stunned: it was run on the OAS basis. You can go round every Section: Science, Engineering, Arts, Literature; fondle and dandle any book or magazine that catches your fancy, take it to any table on any floor, read to your heart's content, get it issued if you have cards left or leave it on the table, come tomorrow and resume. You are requested not to return the book to the shelf since there are people paid to do it.

It was Heaven. By and by you learn that the right time to go to the CL is 7 PM. All books and magazines like Punch, Time, Life and the Heritage of Britain are lying on the tables; you don't have to hunt and search: other readers more knowledgeable than you have done the groundwork for you.

By and by the OAS got screwed up by Selfish Giants who do replace the books they have taken out in inaccessible places like returning the latest Physics Book Quantics on the sixth rack of the Upanishads Section....and so good books were weeded out and a Reserved Section appeared run on the CAS.

Eateries:

I am told that there are French words like table de hote and a la carte for different fancy systems.

CAS: But in Hyderabad, the CAS eatery is one in which you enter and take a seat. No food item is visible to you. Everything is clean and neat. Kitchen lies hidden unseen but heard and smelled alright. The waiter appears by and by and throws a 10-page menu at you. The book has all the colors and smells of the kitchen, having been around for a decade. After studying it closely for 10 minutes you tick 5 items and order them to be served serially. The waiter smiles and says that none of the 5 is available at the moment (whenever the moment is) and points to the only item available at the moment: Veg Manchuria...but expects a heavy tip for his service with a smile.

OAS: On the other hand there are OAS roadside eateries aplenty where everything is visible. If you can stand the heat, stench of the gutter, and oil fumes, there is nothing like it for the palate and the purse. Great Bargains. Good for once in a while, but if you are a regular, you are sure to land up in the CAREless Hospital for a good fortnight.

Malls:

These also come in two varieties:

CAS: Seamed: These run on the CAS basis. As soon as you check-in, you are hounded by roaming salesmen who wouldn't let you breathe but breathe down your neck. You try to disentangle yourself from one but the next chap hounds you. You give up and let out that you want a sari for your wife. He would ask your budget and lead you to the stall where you can sit or stand and the girl behind the counter throws a couple of them at your face. You pick up one and, as you try to go to the cash counter, the girl behind will smile sweetly and ask you to take the other one also for free. You are stunned and she explains to you that it is (always) some Puja or the other bonanza: Buy one get one free! (The sticker price takes care of everything). But it is a very good bargain indeed as long as you don't cram the shop and get lost with what is palmed off on you.

OAS: Seamless: Here, you are on your own. Fully OAS. You don't know where one stall ends and the other begins. There is none to help you. After touching and feeling and smelling everything on display for an hour, you feel guilty, pick up one sari and go the cash counter, which too is hidden somewhere. It is a highly satisfying experience; only, the price tag on the sari which is inferior to the other one in the CAS is four or five times higher. And you notice that there are surveillance cameras everywhere instead of salesmen.

Matri-Mals:

CAS: These run on middle-class morality. The bride and the groom have never seen or met each other. They have seen only heavily doctored photos and horoscopes, also heavily doctored. They meet and exchange glances for the first time in a Drawing Room with their four parents on either side and ten other Peeping Toms. They are not allowed to meet or talk in private. Everything is above board. If the dowries and other incidentals match, you can either say Yes; or No and wait for the next sales season.

OAS: This is the latest craze. You register your CV on a Matrimonial Portal, paying through your nose every 3 months. Every year in the Marriage Season the Portal will allow you to attend a Matri-Mela organized by them in your City at the Town Hall. Pay a thousand rupees for the day's food, drink and entertainment. When you reach the Town Hall you will find it crammed with prospective brides and grooms with not an inch to spare. It will remind you of the Sunday Cattle Fairs in your Village. But it is an exhilarating experience with so many cattle of both sexes to meet, talk to, smell and perhaps touch in the crowd. If you don't have the time and money for the next Cattle Fair, you latch on to the one within your reach at the end of the day. Shop till you Drop.

Ancient Matrimonial OAS:

Before closing, I would like to remind the readers that India had the most advanced Female-Loaded Marital OAS during times when men were blue-blooded men and women demure but determined.

Sita: She advertised that anyone who wished to marry her has to lift and wield the super-massive Bow and Arrow of Shivjee. Everyone fell in disgrace but Raam not only cracked the system but broke it and married her (but they were already in love the evening before or so).

Draupadi: She advertised that anyone wishing to marry her has to shoot a revolving fish on the ceiling looking only at its image in the pool below. Arjun did it. It is a different matter that all four of his brothers tagged along like so many parasites.

Damayanti: This poor Princess was in Love with Prince Nal who also was dying to marry her. So she imposed no bravery conditions, but that she would wed anyone in the crowd that she likes. But five or six demigods wanted to spoil her sport and all of them appeared disguising themselves exactly as Nal. But Damayanti, being a clever girl, knew that demigods are translucent and so cast no shadows unlike opaque men like Nal. Also they don't blink or wink like men. It was cakewalk for her. It is a different matter that one of the demigods wasn't pleased and persecuted the legally wedded couple for the whole of a book called: Hamsa Doutyam: Swan-Arranged-Love.

My wife married me in the CAS system:

both of us were dying to get married on the first-come-first-served-basis......

FCFSB

So did my daughter-in-law my son..FCFSB sems to run in the family.

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