Sunday, November 14, 2010

Commissions & Omissions

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"Individually we can do Nothing
But collectively we can Resolve

that Nothing can be done"

Charter & Motto of Committees

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That is rather one-sided, though it reflects the Spirit of all Committees.

I guess Committees were invented to pass on considered advice to whoever appoints those Committees without being bound by their advice.

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Julius Caesar:

Caesar
: Antonio!

Marcus Antonius: Caesar!

Caesar: Let me have men about me that are fat, Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights. Yon Cassius has a lean and hungry look, He thinks too much; such men are dangerous.

.............Julius Caesar Act 1, Scene 2, 190-195

Caesar's hunch was right; his wife Calpurnia was uneasy about his going forth to the Senate on the Ides of March; he ignored with contempt the warning of the wise Soothsayer; and he met his sad end because he didn't appoint a High-Power Committee.

Cassius was cleverer. He wanted to get Caesar assassinated for his personal grudge. But he appointed a Senate Sub-Committee and personally roped in Hon'ble Brutus as its august Chairman and got his wily wish fulfilled.

Brutus was soliloquizing endlessly. He knew that Cassius was egging him on for his own wrong personal ends. He didn't listen to his wife Portia and ultimately met his Brutal End at Philippi, all the time seeing ghosts. He should have appointed a Standing Committee to weed out rogues, like our DC at IIT KGP.

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So in Iliad:

Paris was inveigled into stealing Helen of Troy by that Greek Goddess...he should have appointed an Inquiry Committee.

They wanted to rope Ulysses into the Trojan War. He was fond of his wife Penelope and infant son Telemachus and wanted to evade Conscription and foolishly tried to act crazy and started plowing a sandy land; they cleverly threw his son in front of the plow. He lifted his hands up to Heaven and gave in. He should have appointed a Steering Committee instead.

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So in Mahabharat:

Duryodhan did have a Standing Committee: the so-called Gang of Four: but he was foolish to include Shakuni who had a history of antagonism towards him. He should have appointed a Screening Committee.

Yudhistir thought he was all-wise. He gave in to his gambling instincts (like Hitler invading Moscow suddenly when London was his in a week). He should have appointed an Ombudsman Committee.

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So in Ramayan:


Dasarath didn't appoint a Search Committee before taking in Mandhara as the Adviser to his Queen Kaikeyi; and met his bitter end.

Sita should have appointed an Ad-hoc Committee before stepping out of Laxman Rekha; and so she was stolen.

Ravan had his Advisory Committee headed by his brother Vibhishan but chose to Veto its Recommendations: all his ten heads were shot down like ninepins.

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IIT KGP:

I never succumbed to the temptation of becoming an August Member of any Senate Committee or their sub-committees for 38 years. But my friend the HoD in my last lap requested me to become one.

I attended all its meetings but kept resolutely quiet till the last; just sipping (Harry's) Tea and munching (dog) biscuits. There was no need; others were talking eminent sense.

But in my last Meeting, I found everyone beating about the bush coyly for an hour without coming to the brass tacks: Money

So, I opened my mouth and said: "Increase the Honorarium 5-fold!".

Everyone was aghast at my shamelessness.

But I am told that they were all citing "Professor Sastry's Formula" then on till it was granted.

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Moral:

Every Committee should have a Shameless Professor


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