Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Apocalypse Averted?


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I hardly read newspapers nowadays. I just glance at the headlines which are full of uninteresting stuff. The Corruption thing has become a dead horse flogged ad infinitum.

There was an interesting suggestion though that Corruption should be legalized (like its close cousin, the oldest profession).


I recall reading a news item that our dear earth had a close shave from a passing comet or asteroid.

That recalled our Autocrat's Verses penned (literally) a century and half ago:

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"I should have felt more nervous about the late comet, if I had
thought the world was ripe. But it is very green yet, if I am not mistaken; and besides, there is a great deal of coal to use up, which I cannot bring myself to think was made for nothing. If certain things, which seem to me essential to a millennium, had come to pass, I should have been frightened; but they haven't.

Perhaps you would like to hear my


LATTER-DAY WARNINGS.

When legislators keep the law,

When banks dispense with bolts and locks,

When berries, whortle--rasp--and straw -

Grow bigger DOWNWARDS through the box,

-
When he that selleth house or land
Shows leak in roof or flaw in right, -

When haberdashers choose the stand

Whose window hath the broadest light, -


When preachers tell us all they think,

And party leaders all they mean, -

When what we pay for, that we drink,

From real grape and coffee-bean, -


When lawyers take what they would give,

And doctors give what they would take, -

When city fathers eat to live,

Save when they fast for conscience' sake, -


When one that hath a horse on sale

Shall bring his merit to the proof,

Without a lie for every nail

That holds the iron on the hoof, -


When in the usual place for rips

Our gloves are stitched with special care,

And guarded well the whalebone tips

Where first umbrellas need repair, -


When Cuba's weeds have quite forgot

The power of suction to resist,

And claret-bottles harber not

Such dimples as would hold your fist, -


When publishers no longer steal,

And pay for what they stole before, -

When the first locomotive's wheel

Rolls through the Hoosac tunnel's bore; -


TILL then let Cumming a blaze away,

And Miller's saints blow up the globe;

But when you see that blessed day,
THEN order your ascension robe!"

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