Of Dogs & Hogs

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After coming a poor second when chased by a bulldog in a dark alley and losing a few ounces of flesh from my supple thigh at the age of 9, I kept aloof from all dogs but learned that running away is the last thing to do from dogs and troubles.

But the Raja of Tuni gifted a dog of dubious pedigree to my MD Uncle with whom I was staying for a couple of my University Years. And my Uncle insisted that I take him (dog) out for a run along the Beach from Naval Battery to the Scandal Point (now called RK Mission Beach) every morning...and again I was a poor second...he was taking me for a run.

One evening when I was sipping my coffee, the wretched thing wagged his tail briskly and came to me asking for a sip. He liked it so well that I emptied my entire glass in a bowl and kept it before him. He lapped it up in seconds. And I left upstairs to my bed (under the hot Heavens on the roof).

I was told next morning that he (dog) was whining, shouting, squealing, growling, and howling by turns the whole night due to caffeine-induced ecstasy disturbing the well-earned sleep of my Uncle, who unchained and drove him away...he was never found "alive or dead"... like...to this day...

Frankly I was not sorry...send me that thunderbolt from the RSPCA-Heaven!

At KGP, I learned that dogs have strictly delineated boundaries (unlike India & China). Every evening on my circuitous walk from Qrs C-1-97, one chap would follow me till Tata Steel Stadium and hand me over, like the baton in a relay race, to a new one who will hand me over to a newer one at Gate # 5 till Harry's, and so on.

Inside the Main Building however, each dog family occupied one Department with exclusive rights to visit class rooms and listen in to boring lectures, or help invigilating in mid and end-sem exams, or peeping in to see if the Grand Viva is going well.

Once, the authorities were upset with this canine interference and recruited a silencing squad trained especially for this purpose footed from each Departmental Operating Grant.

The Dog-Catching Squad had a hectic time since the dogs took to hiding in those few loos that were out of bounds for humans.

The few that were caught while they were sleeping were led to the Old Building but the Operation had to be abandoned when the Research Scholars of a certain Center there complained that their sleep was being disturbed by their (dogs') unearthly howls...like my Uncle...

I don't know what is the situation now...especially now...



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Joy in the Morning

1.

When I was a boy
Playing with a toy
I thought
It rot
To use
The loo
With girls so coy

2.

When I was a boy
Playing with a toy
I ran
Like Man
In sand
To the pond
To relieve in Joy

3.

When I was a boy
Playing with a toy
I sat
I thought
Alone
With none
But a grunt o' joy

4.

When I was a boy
Playing with a toy
A hog
In fog
Ran in
The swine
Pushed me like a toy

5.

When I was a boy
Playing with a toy
A hop
A step
A jump
A bump
I ran home with my toy!

.........Thanx to Pratik for 'A Song About Myself' by Keats

http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/49320-John-Keats-A-Song-About-Myself


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