Kitchenstricken

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Of all places on earth, kitchen is the worst booby trap, particularly if you are a stranger to it.

Here are a few of my lifetime experiences:

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1952 Summer:

We shifted to a dilapidated Government Bungalow in Atmakur where Father was posted as HM. The ceiling was high, it was a tiled house, spacious to a fault, but not lived in for a couple of years.

I was 8 then and a robust outdoor life meant I was as hungry as a starved Alipur Zoo Otter...(They mainly eat aquatic animals, predominantly fish and shellfish, but also other invertebrates, amphibians, birds and small mammals...up to 25% of their body weight everyday...wikipedia).

The first night at dinner time under a flickering and whining hurricane lamp, I discovered a tiny scorpion in my heap of rice but kept quiet after hiding it under my dining plate.

Q: What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding half a worm

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1954 Breakfast Time:

Grannie was visiting us in Muthukur and captured the kitchen as soon as she arrived:

http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2009/11/autocrat-of-dining-floor.html

As always, I was the first to hog the place around the chulha where Grannie was making dosas...so I was the guinea pig too.

The first one out on my plate looked a little redder than usual, but how does it matter if the cat is red or white as long as it catches mice?

It tasted somewhat outlandish if not outright exotic and I had to ask Grannie what was new in her recipe.

She denied any, smelled the Ovaltine tin from which she took the rice powder out, called mom who was resting, and was told that this particular Ovaltine tin, unlike the one below, contained washing soda...the Dear Old Solvay Conference thing.

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1995 KGP Summer:

Prof X was a connoisseur of home-brewed coffee a la RKN, but his wife preferred Tea. Nonetheless she used to make him a couple of cups of bed-coffee.

One fine morning the first cup was handed over to Prof X which he drained with unwonted relish.

While pouring out the second cup Mrs X discovered a dead (boiled) garden lizard at the bottom of the saucepan, screamed, rushed to Prof X, saw that his cup was empty, and asked him to rush to the BC Roy Hospital for food-poisoning.

He coolly replied that he survived the food of the other and far older BC Roy Establishment (BC Roy Hall) for 3 years, so no worry.

He went over to examine the remains, and being a Chemical Engineer, wanted to apply for a patent in his wife's name for a new blend of coffee called:

Cappuccino Iguanino

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2010 Hyderabad:

I finished blogging at 3 AM and wanted to make some instant coffee for myself without disturbing the well-earned slumber of my dear wife.

The water was boiling and I had to decide fast which of the two look-alike Nescafe bottles had coffee powder. Picked one up, poured a spoonful of the brown appetizing powder into the sizzling water, heard a welcome roar, poured it into a cup, tasted it and found it passionately kicking.

Wife told me that the bottle contained crushed black jeera powder.

I turned an addict...

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