Olive Oil

==================================================================

I have said it a dozen times in these blogs and I will say it again because of its immense practical use to readers.

Here it is...the gps dictum:

"A gram of Olive Oil is a thousand times cheaper than a gram of Gold but is a thousand times more effective"

Olive Oil comes with several labels like 'butter', 'buttermilk', 'castor oil', 'grease' but it is the same old stuff in newer and newer bottles: all are lubricants.

**********************************************************************************************************

Olive Oil comes in 3 grades: Thick, Thin, and Superfluid.

***********************************************************************************************************

Thick

All gods and God Himself seem to be constantly demanding heavy applications of Olive Oil.

The Sanskrit root is 'sthuti' from which come a thousand 'sthotras':

In English: "Praise the Lord"

No problem; all gods reside in Heaven and so I could never see them with these gross lecherous eyes of mine.

But I did watch a Representative of God commanding it in public at a secular place like IIT KGP (post Nehru who wouldn't have allowed it in his fond Temple of Learning whose Foundation Stone he laid with his own sleek hands).

There was this Sankaracharya of one of the 4 or 5 or 10 famous mutths who was invited to IIT KGP by his followers and was advertised to hold forth in the OAT.

I was curious and went there a few minutes before the scheduled arrival of the saffron-clad danda-kamandalu wielding dignitary, and took a back seat for a panoramic view of the Seer and the seen.

And was lost in my woolgathering.

Suddenly there was this great commotion and a couple of youthful sadhus arrived shouting sthotras loudly and heralding His Eminence with all synthetic decorum, pomp, and protocol, followed by the beaming Acharya himself and a couple more of his ilk trailing him.

Our young and nice Director who was 'gracing' the occasion was watching the tamasha from the front row.

And soon after the Acharya took his seat, the Director was surprised when he was escorted graciously by the Organizer of the Event to the podium and made to touch the Holy Feet and seek his blessings.

****************************************************************************************************************

Thin

This grade of Olive Oil is applied by some IIT students seeking better grades and recos from their teachers.

It is thin because all IIT students are 'World Class' and so they can't possibly do it overtly to Faculty whom they deem ministerially not so 'World Class'.

But, as you know, even Lord Krishna's Dad had to apply Thick Olive Oil at the dead of the night to a donkey who decided to bray the very moment Vaasudev was trying to smuggle out his Divine Kid across Yamuna...Krishna was truly naughty like our li'l Ishani who makes her mom run round in circles at feeding time.

So it is applied subtly and in private lest it be discovered by their other 'World Class' wingmates, who come later in the evening.

And, thinking that the poor fools wouldn't know when they have been oiled...the oil being just a thin moisturizer.

************************************************************************************************************

Superfluid

This grade of oil is applied in Reverse Osmosis by a very few IIT Faculty like gps to his students.

There are two reasons for it:

1. Material (feedback forms)

2. Spiritual (feast of reason and flow of soul)

*****************************************************************************************************************

Tailpiece

I read this piece in Reader's digest half a century ago and remember it vividly.

A middle-aged woman was getting unsure of her native beauty and vivacity (a common complaint).

So she put on her best dress and applied her best cosmetics and perfumes and boarded a train for a joy ride.

The compartment was empty till a youthful lad entered and took his seat opposite hers.

During the half-hour ride, the kid was surreptitiously ogling and giving her the once-over delicately enough as not to be beaten up.

She got up when the next station arrived, and as she was getting down, she looked at him demurely and said:

"Thank You!!!"

===================================================================