Friday, June 10, 2011

Reporting Items

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Here are a few tidbits gleaned from my favorite newspaper Deccan Chronicle

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London, June 6:

"A new study has revealed that women are more selfish than men and are more likely to criticize their friends behind their backs"

gps: What is NEW about it?

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"It also claimed that they ignore charity workers at the front door more than men"

gps: This reminds me of a family joke:

A new daughter-in-law drives away a beggar from their door. Upon which the old mother-in-law took umbrage and recalls the beggar; and drove him away saying: "Who is this upstart to usurp my powers from Day 1?"

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"Women are also less likely to return a favor and don't bother handing money back after seeing someone drop it"

gps: Serves the chappies right...they will be more careful henceforth

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"More than half of females admitted they chose the evening meal without taking their partner into consideration"

gps: Land for the tiller and menu for the toiler

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"Blokes fared slightly better...helping out elderly with heavy shopping bags"

gps: Must be unemployed and dipping their hands into the bags...and asking for a tip too

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"Men were also far from being squeaky clean"

gps: Cave-men attract females


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"Incredibly half of the people said they committed two or more selfish acts every day"

gps: Apart from lying in questionnaires

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"You may boast of having an impressive list of friends on social networking sites but a new study suggests that your brain can't handle more than 150 friends"

gps: All of them friends in "need"

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"Elephants flirt and argue like humans"


gps: The reporter must be voyeuristic

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Word Power

Learned a couple of new words today

solatium

Earlier called 'ex-gratia' or 'compensation'

Reminds me of County Hospital featuring Laurel and Hardy where Laurel confuses solarium delightfully with aquarium

http://www.220.ro/funny/LAUREL-HARDY/HvNk0em6do/

2. humormonger

yours truly



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3 comments:

  1. Dear Sir,
    Is a family joke a joke about a family incident or just something that was told often in the family?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Don:

    No smoke without fire...I happen to know the two ladies in question by their reputation.

    ReplyDelete