Sunday, July 3, 2011

gps Extinction Theorem

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This is payback time for me to KGPhians.

So here is my latest theorem for the exclusive manufacturing rights of KGPhians:

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"When a thing is becoming extinct you can make enormous profit by reviving it studded with gold and diamonds"

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Having seen the latest set of ads for the extinct fountain pens, here I give you several ideas for designerware:

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1. Tigerskins were ubiquitous in our households as seats for 'power meditation'.

Now that it is illegal and impossible to poach and kill tigers, I suggest that enterprising KGPhian entrepreneurs 'collect' all the extant tigerskins sweeping the entire country, buy them, stud them with diamonds, gold, pearls, and such gems and resell them each priced at a million dollars for use in 'power love'.

2. In my childhood there were two-paisa coins of copper. Due to shortage of postwar copper, these were issued in the form of annular rings, and were very useful as 'washers'.

I suggest that they be reissued as coppers with tiny gems embedded in them for use as fancy ear rings at a hundred thousand dollars each as 'power charms'.

3. In my childhood I saw my granpa reading from some old palm-leaf manuscripts.

Now that paper itself is becoming extinct, I suggest that dried and cured palm-leaves with pure gold streaks be manufactured with say 25 'pages' each on which mini Konark sculptures are redrawn in indelible ink with footnotes as quotable quotes from Vatsyayan or Jayadev or even Song of Solomon and sold at a million dollars each such p-book as 'power stimulants'

4. In my childhood I used to watch wooden slippers (paajaa) with a toe-hold.

I suggest that slippers of the softest maple-wood studded with gems be made and sold at a hundred thousand dollars or more for each set to be used as 'magic slippers'

5. Hyderabad has recently banned, all of a sudden, plastic carry-bags of less than 40 microns.

There are now, in the godowns here, millions of these waiting to be garbaged or recycled or used as bitumen additives for laying roads. I suggest these may be bought at a throw-away price, cover them with Madhubala portraits on one side and Dileep Kumar's on the other drawn with gold filaments and sold at million dollars each for 'power romance'.

6. Go ahead and improve upon these ideas but give the devil the 'credit' due to gps.

Cheers!

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