Ignomenclature

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The buzz in Hyderabad is that a new house-numbering system is on.

Hm!

The house we rented earlier where we lived for 3 years had the number:

6-3-592/21/8-9

I could never remember it. This is just the number. Then came the locality. Here we were very fortunate. This apartment block is on the boundary between a rather upstart neighborhood called Venkataramana Colony and a low-brow Erramanzil (a distortion of the Urdu Irram Manzil).

When they came down for Ganesh Puja subscriptions we used to say that we are in Erramanzil and get away with Rs 10 say. On the other hand when we wish to impress our visitors, we would say, oh, we live in Venkataramana Colony, you know.

And if it is the bride's party to be impressed we would say: "Off-Banjara Hills" hoping for a good dowry...just joking...we never demanded dowry...they used to press it on us and we were too polite to refuse...otherwise they would suspect something wrong with our bridegroom like an earlier affair.

In addition we had confusion about our PIN code.Some said it was 500 482 and others 500 082. One day I asked our postman. He refused to take sides, but insisted on his mamool whenever he delivered the Life Certifcate blank.

All this reminds me of the Readers Digest joke where the line dividing Russia and Siberia originally passed right through a house; which was sitting like a pole on the real axis. The authorities asked the resident whether he wished to be in Russia or Siberia; like the indentation in the contour be clockwise or counterclockwise.

Apparently he thought for a minute and voted to be in Russia, citing that Siberia is too cold.

The worst house numbering system is of course the Qrs of IIT KGP. For one thing they are not serial as we go along the street, as expected by any reasonable layman. No, they are numbered according to the date by which their construction was completed, rather chronologically.

If you expected that C-97 would be next to C-98, you are mistaken...it may be at the other end of the campus. But, this system has its advantage: if you are offered a choice between C-16 and C-144, you know that the earlier one is dilapidated and has (as Pratik says) walls with holes big enough to see if the paan shop is open or closed.

But I have known new visitors arriving after 10 PM in a rickshaw from the Rly Station giving up their quest after an hour of hunting around and settling down for the night on the pavement of the Tech Market till daybreak...the rickshaw chap charging by the minute of 'waiting time'.

The young ones reading this blog may ask: "Why can't they use their cell-phones?"

I have to then remind them of Marie Antoinette's innocent query about her subjects starved of bread: "Why can't they eat cake?"

IIT Qrs, for all I know in 1965, were like the French waiting for their Alphanumeric Revolution which is yet to happen... we didn't have our Madam Defarge.

Talking of Mary, I had a lot of trouble keeping track of the several Marys when I first read the New Testament. Also Johns and Josephs.

And there were a couple of Marys in British History too...one of them fondly called Bloody Mary (also a cocktail and an unspeakable thing in Chile).

It was only when I browsed through the Complete Works of Shakespeare (a copy of which PGW found very useful as a pillow in his war-room) that I came to know there were one too many Richards, Georges, Henrys and their namesakes who ruled Britain and us too. And a couple of Elizabeths.

When a knowing person asked me my wife's name he replied:

"Oh, Madhwas?...it has to be either Radha or Rukmini"

He was right....there are at least half a dozen Rukminis who are all my relatives by marriage and they figure themselves out as: Big, Medium, Small, Soft, Hard, Supersoft...much like Colgate Toothbrushes.

I got zero marks in a question of Social Studies in School when I wrote that Indira Gandhi was the daughter-in-law of Mahatma Gandhi.

When I was first traveling to Visakhapatnam alone at the age of 14, I was given a trump-advice by one who knew: "When you are stranded in any Restaurant and the waiters all ignore you, call politely: Mr Appa Rao!...and you will see at least two of them give you service with a smile."

It worked. That town is the abode of the local god, Appala Narsimha Swami. So, every other son is Appa Rao and daughter Appalamma.

But in Hyderabad, there is another Narasimha Swami at Yadagiri Gutta. So, if you are stranded here, simply call: "Yadayya!" and you will eat cake.

And nearby there is the Bhadradri Rama temple. So, if Yadayya doesn't respond, call: "Ramulu!"

In Nellore District it is Subba Rao or Subbamma. There is a Subrahmanya Swami temple nearby.

In Tirupati it is Venkayya or Balajee.

Telugus who lived in Benares would always name their first daughter: Annapurna and their son: Viswanath (also Kashiviswanath if there is any confusion).

My father was christened G. Radhakrishnaiah since he was the last of four and they had already named the three earlier ones as: G. V. Subbaramayya, G. Venkatesayya and G. V. Subrahmanyam (V for Venkata as in C. V. Raman and S for Subramanya as in S. Chandrasekhar).

Yet my faher was unlucky. There was another classmate of his with the same name G. Radhakrishnaiah who was a year older to my father and so the School Writer exchanged their dates of birth. And my father found out that he was retiring a year earlier and was going to pieces. They said that my father had to hunt the other guy and get a no-objection affidavit from him. Luckily the other one was a well-to-do merchant whose son was in the school where my father was a HM.

When my son wanted to name his daughter Ishani, I was thinking she would be treated as a hilsa-bhaat Bengali. But my daughter-in-law expanded the name as:

G. Ishani

I was sure there is no other "G. Ishani" in this world.

Till I Googled...


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