Here is a typical news item that tickles me endlessly:
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Rail minister loses office once again
DC Correspondent, New Delhi, Aug 3:
There was nothing parliamentary about this episode even though it took place within the hallowed precincts of the Parliament House.
The Union railway minister, Mr Dinesh Trivedi, found himself unceremoniously evicted from his room in Parliament House yet again on Wednesday, prompting him to hold a meeting with the former Union railway minister and RJD leader, Mr Lalu Prasad Yadav, sitting on a bench outside the room.
The squabble over who had a claim to the spacious room No 6 on the ground floor of Parliament, of course, had begun on Tuesday itself when Mr Trivedi found the Union Minister, Ms Ambika Soni's nameplate outside it instead.....
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Everyone knows that the Ministry of the only surviving Govt Monopoly and the largest Welfare State of the World (arguably) is a much coveted post. And had been adorned by the likes of Lal Bahadur Shastri, Jagjivan Ram, Lalujee, Didi and now Mr Trivedi.
Well, compared to the earlier heavyweights, the newcomer is, let us say, a bantam weight, till proven otherwise. And this is the chance for him to nip all opposition in the bud and establish himself that he is as good as his glorious predecessors.
This reminds me of a charming Chandamama Serial of the 1950s vintage:
There was a shepherd boy in Ujjain. He was once sitting on a mound of earth and tending his sheep when two leading businessmen were coming down arguing who is right. As they couldn't settle their tricky issue of business, they see the lad and in jest ask him who is right. And the boy, to their bewilderment, quotes Dharma Shastras copiously and resolves their dispute. They were awe-struck and escort him to the King Raja Bhoja'a Palace and present the latest genius. Upon which the Raja tests his knowledge of scriptures and finds that the lad is as innocent as any other.
Being himself a wise man, Bhoja asks the lad to lead them to the place where he delivered the judgment; and finding the mound, gets it dug up and lo and behold, discovers the lost and famous throne of King Vikramarka who ruled a millennium ago and who was known for his acumen (cf. Bethala puzzles).
And Bhoja, being the direct descendant of Vikramarka, orders the throne to be brought to his Court so he could enthrone himself on it on an auspicious day.
As he proceeds to climb its 16 steps, he finds that there are two saalabhanjikas (wooden damsels) on each step either side who display the power of speech.
They halt Raja Bhoja on each step and say that they will allow him to climb them if and only if he can answer viva questions they put to him. And they test him by narrating one after the other the 32 episodes in which Vikramarka reveals his acumen.
And Bhoja finally passes the tests with humility and then is allowed to display his nameplate on Room Number 6 of the Parliament House.
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Not that there is any relation to the above, but let me say that if you keep warming a seat for decades and decades, you impart your character to it, at least physically.
During my 4 decades at IIT KGP, I was shifted from Room to Room 5 times.
When I was first offered a throne-like chair with cane at the bottom and two arm rests on either side, I declined it, since I knew that so much comfort would make me drowsy.
And I sneaked into a Class Room (C-235) and juggled chairs and brought back a Student's Chair that had no left arm, and had a mini-writing desk on the right. And its bottom was solid wood (non-deformable).
And whenever I was asked to shift my Office, I carried it along like a portable cricket umpire's chair of the olden days.
And after 40 years of sitting on it, retired, without carrying it home surreptitiously.
A good 5 years later, I happened to revisit KGP and sneaked into KK's Office (they have stopped calling it Room, yours humbly) for a few minutes.
And he graciously showed me a chair in front of his vast and prodigious Table inviting me to take a seat.
Which I did.
And at once shot up in the air like a jack rabbit asked to sit on an electric chair.
And looked back and asked KK:
"Where did you get this chair; it is MINE!!!"
And KK replied he didn't exactly know, since he had been shifted here and there and he is quite pleased to carry along his own chair that suited him to a tee.
The fact of the matter is that although the bottom of the chair is non-deformable, that is not the case with your own fleshy bottom...it takes the contour of your favorite posture on the wood...and the two bottoms remember each other like two Siamese Twins separated by bad luck...
I guess the Successor to my throne in Room No C-236 had discarded it (having lugged in his / her own) and shoved it onto the verandah; and KK picked it up, although he doesn't now recall...he too is getting on after all...
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