Mixups & Goofups

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The canonical mixup is that of the Papal Bull {;-}

Ishwar, the Lord God, inspected Brahma's Creation and noticed that the inhabitants of the Earth are dirty and grimy and obese. So, he called Nandi, his Big Bull, and asked him to go down and proclaim His G.O.:

"Everyone of you chaps will henceforth take bath thrice everyday and eat once a week".

Nandi must have been preoccupied with whatever fascinates bulls and proclaimed:

"Ishwar orders that everyone of you will henceforth eat thrice a day and take bath once a week"

Ishwar gets to know Nandi's goofup and asks him, as a recompense, to go forth down below and procreate millions of his kind so they can all till the land by the sweat of their brow to feed all the greedy earthlings. So, Nehrujee got to choose 'Two Bulls on a Yoke' as his Election Symbol.

Dasarath had this benighted gift called Shabdavedhi: he could hunt blind without looking. So, he aimed his arrow at what he thought was an elephant gurgling in a stream and shot and killed him, a thorough mixup, since it happened to be the kid Sravan Kumar filling his pot with water; and his mother cursed Dasarath appropriately.

His son Raam enticed Sugriv to go forth and challenge Vali for a duel promising him that He would kill Vali shooting His arrow hiding behind a tree...it turned out that Vali and Sugriv looked so alike that Raam was confused and avoided a costly goofup at the last minute.

Duryodhan was invited to have a look at the heavenly interior decor of Maya Sabha, not telling him that it was a palace of mirrors. He lifted his dhoti to clear a pool of water where there was none...a costly mirage as it turned out for Pandavas.

Columbus thought he discovered a new sea route to India...everyone then wanted trade with India...like Pakistan does now under the influence of their charming FM.

Berzelius was a very renowned Chemist, known as the Father of Chemistry in Sweden...but first we heard of him in our Class XII was of his goofup between atoms and molecules.

Bombarding Uranium with neutrons was supposed to give at worst Radium...but what a mixup! The lady Physicist Lise Meitner saw that what she got was not Radium but Barium...and discovered Nuclear Fission, ahem, but it was her Chemistry Guide Otto Hahn that walked away with the Nobel...big goofup there; and as a belated recompense for the Jewish woman's travails we have Meitnerium now...goru mere juto daan...

Prof VS got a telegram that his father is dead and was summoned to VZM from KGP. He returned after three days and explained that it was not his father but uncle; the wire read:

"Father expired start immediately...moorthy"

Prof AC came down to our place with sweets saying that his wife had a safe delivery and got a darling daughter...like Ishani.

He and his Mrs returned to KGP with a bonny boy; his telegram had read:

"Usha normal delivery mother and baby safe...ramu"

Baby vs Babu!

Soon after he got married, my friend N took me to the Jaswant Cabinet Mart in Gole Bazaar:

http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2011/10/woodpeckers-1.html

And ordered a Dining Table and he was in a hurry to get it made and delivered at his Qrs as a surprise gift to his brand new wife. Jaswant Singh promised to send it coming Sunday morning via his Assistant, Sahib Singh, a lean and emaciated guy...POSITIVELY...han han jee positively...

Next Sunday, N had to travel to his F-i-L's place in Cal and asked me to wait for Sahib Singh and his Table at his Qrs.

And I sat in his verandah from 8 AM to Noon and was waiting patiently like those eunuchs by the Sarayu waiting for Raam's return:

http://www.shadowsandsymbols.org/?tag=eunuch

Finally, I saw Sahib Singh walking by and stood up and invited him in, saying THIS is Prof N's Qrs; and asking him where his thela gadi is.

Sahib Singh stood transfixed and bewildered and was humming and hawing and I was getting impatient.

After five minutes of banging him for his late empty-handed arrival, I discovered that he was not THE Sahib Singh of Jaswant Cabinet Mart, but was an employee of the Accounts Section of IIT KGP going late, very late, to his duties and trying to find an excuse for his late-coming, and wasn't quite following where the Dining Table came in...

Turned out that THIS Saheb Singh was perennially high and confused...

Dining Table came in the evening...


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