Friday, January 6, 2012

ECCPs

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Deccan Chronicle, 5 January 2012

PRESIDENT'S CHEF COOKS UP A STORM

President Pratibha Patil's head chef on Wednesday raised a controversy by storming out of the Gandhi Hospital because he did not get VIP treatment and admitting himself at a corporate hospital for a lung infection...A source at Gandhi Hospital said, "The chef complained about the stench, lack of cleanliness and lack of proper treatment. He expected that being on the staff of a VVIP, he should be given VIP treatment and doctors should attend to him 24 hours. Since that isn't quite possible in a government set-up, he left."

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I guess the acronym ECCP was coined by a bureaucrat (read IAS Officer). IAS is a funny profession. By and large he is supposed to advise his Minister (Yes, Minister!)
on a policy initiative that his Minister wishes to take for political reasons (read votes). If the policy clicks, the Minister takes the credit. If it doesn't, the IAS chap gets the boot (I am exaggerating).

When Indira Gandhi imposed her infamous Emergency supposedly on the advice of her younger son, Sanjay Gandhi (among others), and wanted her IAS chaps to come up pronto with a winning Document, they came up with what they termed TPEP (they are suckers for 4-letter acronyms). It meant: Twenty Point Economic Programme. Why twenty only? I guess it is a round figure and not too big a manifesto to mug up and not too small
to cover its loopholes. The only folks who had to read it were the new IAS aspirants...it was in their syllabus ;-)

Things didn't pan out quite the way she wanted and she was wrongly advised (again) to call Elections; which she lost badly and had to sit in the Opposition (for a while). The newly elected Government wanted to find out who was responsible for her ignoble defeat and they roundly attributed it to Sanjay who they said took quite wrong decisions and acted as if he was himself the PM, though he was just her son. And they called him and his buddies names: ECCPs (another four-letter thing) meaning: "Extra-Constitutional Centers of Power"

The question naturally arises whether the Head Chef of the President is a Constitutional VIP Post as he claims or another ECCP...I have to ask my IAS B-i-L.

Traditionally, when Power used to be vested with Men, their wives used to be ECCPs. Take Sita for instance. This famous Bhakta at the Bhadrachalam Sri Raam Temple was imprisoned (wrongly he claimed) by the Nawab of that time. He prayed to Sri Raamjee and nothing happened. At last, in a lovely kirtan, he prays to Sita, the consort of Raam, asking her to put in a word on his behalf to her hubby in one of his weak moments...it worked wonders and he was not only released but the Nawab turned a Raam Bhakt himself!

Coming down from Mythology to History, there was this girl child born to a carpenter and his concubine, turning an actress, and ending up getting married to China's Chairman (who was our Chairman during the Charu Majumdar decade). And rose so high due to her proximity to her hubby that she got to practically wield his Power in the company of what were famously called the Gang of Four. It is said that there used to be a huge chimney in their Central Hall and the earlier slogan: "Power comes from the barrel of the gun" was replaced by: "Death comes from an open mouth", and showing the Emergency Exit up through the chimney by boy-scout-arrows.

In our folklore, it is not the wife but her brother, the salah, that is supposed to be the ECCP Supreme. He has a direct access to the Raja through his fond sister. And he is feared as well as propitiated.

When my IAS B-i-L asked me why I was not visiting him, staying put all the time in that God-forsaken jungle called IIT KGP, I told him I would visit him during his 1-year stint as Collector and District Magistrate, a post as near a Raja as comes in a democracy. And when he was posted as DM at Dharmapuri in Tamilandu, I did visit him. But since there were no cell phones then, I tried a trick. I went incognito, unexpected and unanticipated, at noon on a Sunday. And was promptly barred by the Gatekeeper Security in his florid uniform. And told him I wanted to see his Boss. And he promptly said: "He is busy...come to the Collector's Office tomorrow." I pleaded with him that it was urgent and he was saying: "Everyone says that!" And I was practically trying to please him (instead of pleading) when my Didi happened to take a stroll in the garden and noticed me. For the next three days, I was the ECCP there; and on the last day, the Security who stopped me was grovelling and asking me to put in a word...

Fortunately, I happened to be an ECCP many times in my life: I was the son of the HM of our School, then the resident nephew of the Principal of our College, then the resident nephew of the Big Boss of the King George Hospital at our University town, Visakhapatnam; and finally the chum of the powerful Deputy Director at IIT KGP.

ECCP is not altogether a bad post...take it up if it comes your way...

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