Saturday, January 28, 2012

Mediqueer

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Well, to me it looked like a Breakathon...I was lying down and thinking that I haven't touched my laptop (they call it 'system' in Hyderabad) for more than a month. But I see now it is not even ten days (and nights mostly).

Many things happened...good, better and best. Nothing bad ever happens to me...KGP trains one to think positive...otherwise none can survive in that jungle.

The best thing that happened was Common Cold. Long ago Varun sent me the link to Ogden Nash's panegyric to it:

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/common-cold/

The essence of humor is in gross under- and over-statements. Ogden Nash for once has been understating. He missed the essential point of Common Cold: you get no sympathy at all. The only relieving feature is that you take revenge by transmitting it to your near and dear and far and feared, and pass on gleeful advice.

My most interesting friend in our Faculty Hostel at KGP, who figured in more than one of these blogs, is Rathin-da. Both his kids turned out to be KGPhians and even more interesting than him. Like many in KGP, he was a victim of asthma, in rather a mild form. It is the trees, flowers and spores in that Campus that take their toll on about 10% of its population, from infants to graybeards.

Rathin-da spent most of monsoon, winter and spring with a muffler wrapped around his head and neck. And when he used to walk along the corridors, we knew he was approaching or receding or staying put by the Doppler Effect of his signature throat-clearance. And when we asked:

"What happened to you, Rathin-da, you look unwell?"

he would clear his throat and say:

"I caught hold of cold"

See the positive KGP I referred to above...cold didn't catch him;
he caught hold of it firmly and possibly swallowed it...

There is something cussed about medicare in India...everything good gets banned here about two or three decades after they ban them in the US (and export them to India, that is Bharat).

My earliest recollection of one of the good things in my life, when I was about 3, was a chocolate-colored-and-wrapped toffee called Brooklax. My Father was rather addicted to it and used to try and hide himself from me, unsuccessfully, once a month or so, and used to unwrap it. Its lovely scent used to wake me up from my slumber and I used to rush to him and beg for a bite, which he allowed grudgingly.

It just disappeared from the Indian Market by the time India won her Independence. I Googled for it just now and there are only two relevant entries...one from Namibia and the other from Guyana.

And we were raised on good old castor oil instead. It was unrefined and cheap and was so foul-smelling that one spoon of it did the trick. Then they said it is addictive and so discouraged it. Addictive it sure is...I know of grown-up Software Professionals in Hyderabad who have to start the day with it so they can rush to their share-auto-cab just in time.

So, we were weaned away from it. The latest study tells us that it the ONLY thing that can kill not only living amoebae but also root out the family, eggs, larvae, sperm and all (for a week). The battle between amoebae and castor oil is like that between Israel and Palestine...it goes on merrily.

Then there was this cheapest thing called Enteroquinol. Every doctor used to prescribe it and everyone Down South used to carry strips of them in their pockets. They said it got banned in the US and so went into the black market in India. DB's B-i-L was working for the firm that used to manufacture it and when he visited KGP, I asked him about it...and he promised to gift me a thousand tablets free...the entire lot cost around Rs 10 or so for the manufacturer.

Then there was a tablet called Codopyrin that I always used to carry in my wallet. It worked like a charm against fever, headache, cold, cough...everything but bachelorhood. They said it got banned in the US and so spurious lookalikes like Goodpyrin were floating around palmed off on unsuspecting folks like me...they used to come with nail-heads embedded in them...I never knew why.

They then said pure and simple Aspirin is good not only for fever but also for heart-ache...I don't see it now in the market. It was replaced by a safe drug called Paracetamol generically. Now they say it is banned (like good old Brufen) because it kills the liver or kidney or whatever like a slow poison. And we were happy with the combo Combiflam, which we are now told kills kidney or liver or whatever...

Then they said antihistamines work wonders for Common Cold..but now they are discouraged since they may effect my brain by clotting it.

So, I decided not to take any drug at all...and here I am, like good old Rathin-da...who got Admission and fabulous Schol into Berkeley in 1963, but decided to join IIT KGP as a Teacher-Trainee in ChE instead.


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