Pattern Recognition

========================================================================

Just back from the 'Naming Ceremony' of the infant granddaughter of our Landlords (a wonderful couple).

Like Birbal said to Akbar and proved that everyone in his kingdom is a doctor, I can say and prove that everyone in India is an expert in Pattern Recognition. There were about 30 couples invited to the function. Since the infant was in the lap of her mom, the males quietly gathered together and started eating and drinking. Not so the ladies. Everyone of them had a close look at the poor kid, dumped their gifts on her mom's lap and said:

"She looks so cute...exactly like her mom"

I think that is an accepted way of starting the conversation. I am sure on their way back home, the guests would quarrel, males saying she looks like her dad and females insisting otherwise. A days-old infant has only her complexion to show off...features are so malleable and ductile that all predictions are wild guesses...one has to wait at least a couple of years for the kid to show her true colors ;-)

Not only the home-maker ladies with lots of time to spare, but our ever busy Gynei Doctor AM at the Care Hospital also did it. My D-i-L was under her expert care till her seventh month of pregnancy when she shifted to her mom's place at Nellore for her delivery. As soon as they returned to Hyderabad in Ishani's fifth month, we all trooped into Dr AM's chamber to show off our God's gift along with a sumptuous gift for AM. As soon as she saw Ishani, she swept everyone aside, had a close look at the dot product, said Ooh Aah and pronounced (rightly):

"She has her dad's complexion and her mom's delicate features"

I don't know if they teach Pattern Recognition in their MD course.

When my own son was born, he had the fairest complexion of his mom and so everyone said that he looks exactly like her mom. It took the Printer Nikhilesh Bhattacharjee of IIT KGP to say when he met me that my son is my topo but for his skin color. Twelve years on, Saswat said, "I should have noticed at KGP, but I didn't...Sonoo looks exactly like you"

Some consolation there!

I first met my wife before meeting her parents in our marriage ceremony. As soon as I saw her father, it struck me that my wife is his topo. And my D-i-L is a topo of her father...Strange!...This cross-resemblance is said to be lucky in our culture.

Coming to identical twins, the first pair I saw was when I went to Dr Chawla's house where we were invited for the first birthday of his twin sons. Both the mini-sardars were in their separate cradles and not only looked alike but behaved exactly the same. When one started crying (for no reason at all), the other picked up as if on cue and it was a stereo all through.

Once there was a student AB in my Physics Class in their 4th year. He borrowed my Panofsky and Phillips and was delaying its return. One evening I was going to the CL and found him walking back. i stopped him and demanded: "How many times I have to remind you...bring my book tomorrow positively". And the chap started smiling knowingly and wanted to continue his game, but I smelt a rat and he said: "Sir, I am the twin of your student and I am in the 4th year EE". I was feeling a fool and said sorry and asked him what his name was. And he said: "AB". I say, this is too much! Then on, whenever I used to meet one of them (they were never seen together on the KGP roads), I used to ask: "Are you yourself or your twin?" That was confusing enough for them to come up with the right answer for this objective question. I guess they are the ideal candidates to verify the Twin Paradox... launch them right away.

Identical Particles is a tough topic in Physics. I once entered his room and found SDM with the Group Theory book by Hamermesh open on his lap. It was open at the chapter on Symmetric Groups. On seeing me, SDM gave one of his trademark smiles (indicating that he was happy with himself) and said:

"Looks like Hamermesh never understood Young Tables and Gel'fand Patterns. They have worlds within worlds in them"

Bread'n'Butter physicists are like Synge's carpenters: when they see spin-half particles they apply FD Stats and when they see whole-number spin things they apply BE Stats blindly without asking why. And of course most of them like me never heard of Symmetric Groups and Young Diagrams happily.

When asked, they say: "It works, no?" and leave it at that.

I sometimes miss SDM and his naughty smile alright.

***************************************************************************************************************

Tailpiece

When they said quarks come in a variety of colors and flavors, I was delighted...color always fascinates me. And I could see not only their colors in my feverish imagination, but also hear them jostling and quarking for space inside our tiny protons. But a few month ago I was told by KGPhians that they discovered electrons also have colors...purple, jade and crimson. But in my bones I was always convinced that electrons are white and positrons black, and was mortified by this new color scheme...till I was told that it all was a lark.

There ought to be a limit to bluffing, no?

=========================================================================