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When my Chetak broke into two pieces breaking my heart, I renounced riding it to the Department and started walking down, and enjoying it...the only fly in this ointment was that several well-meaning friends and acquaintances passing by in their cars, scooters, and even push bikes would stop and ask me to get in (or up). And I was too reluctant to accept such offers because I got to love that short walk. So, I was declining politely and they were insisting and it became such an embarrassing public spectacle that I bought a push bike and started walking lugging it along. And everyone thought it was a case of punctured tire and left it at that...except Amalendu on his scooter...he used to get down from his Chetak and lug that along by my side...but that was rare since his timings and mine didn't match.
During one of those crazy days Prof TKD of Cryogenics with whom I had a nodding acquaintance got down from his push bike, walked a few steps alongside me and said:
"Do you know Professor...you are known as Professor Cool in our circles"
...and got up and rode away.
That was news to me. Because I never thought I would be an object of talk since I rarely mixed with anyone except my students (in the class room) and a few colleagues on way to canteen. Anyway that set me thinking why and I ruminated and discovered that I rarely lost my cool with anyone in the campus...certainly not with students nor with colleagues.
Except in one incident for which there was no publicity because only a handful watched it.
Soon after SDM left for Calcutta after his retirement, Prof GXM became the HoD and wanted to guide me in his research work, as if I were his post-doc. And after a few sanguine attempts came to know that I was in no mood to work with anyone after working with SDM...it is like being asked to ride a pony after riding a tiger...mind you, I am NOT saying GXM is a pony...it is only a simile and no offense is intended...as a matter of fact, ponies serve humanity million times more than tigers do...live tigers are expensive and their market value is nil till they are poached and killed for their skin which is supposed to be an instrument of 'power meditation', and for their claws which are supposed to drive fear away from anyone who wears them in their amulets, and perhaps their marbles which Chinese say are viagra-substitues.
Then on GXM bore a grudge against me (and DB on a smaller scale). First he forced me to become Second-Year Lab-in-charge thinking that I will be a disaster. And after six months he removed me for reasons known only to him. Then he threatened to institute what he called were 'police cases' on two occasions in his unwisdom and had to eat crow.
Finally he made me Seminar-in-Charge.
I never said no to any valid responsibility he dumped on me...except that Post-Doc Business.
During those days no one was willing to give seminars nor eager to listen. That was because IIT KGP came up with a notorious rule: Everyone who gets to travel outside IIT for giving lectures, seminars, symposiums, workshops and the like should give a seminar after their return. Failing which their TA claims will not be processed. And they have to sign a form declaring that they did give a seminar and get it counter-signed by their HoD.
Recall Feynman and his tiff with bureaucracy...and his insistence that he will affix his signature not more than thirteen times.
In every other Dept, it became a joke...this manifest distrust by the authorities of the honesty of their employees. The HoDs decided to never insist on this 'forced' seminar business but just signed the 'certificate' in good faith.
But GXM was different...he wanted to use this figment of power in his hands...a cute case of Bernard Levin's Theorem:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2010/07/bernard-levins-theorem.html
He insisted that everyone from Research Scholars to Senior Professors give a seminar in which he would be present and ask questions and satisfy himself that no skullduggery had been there and then only sign the form. And as Seminar-in-Charge I had to advertise and collect a mob to watch his performance. But who wants to attend a 'TA Seminar'? Everyone knew it was a despicable formality...they went home.
So, there was this Friday evening when I arranged Prof CLR's TA seminar. And apart from me and him and the speaker there were two more...RSS and AD. And CLR went to the board and gave his talk to the august audience.
It so happened that for the past ten days there was no communication to me from my wife whom I had left at Jalgaon for her delivery. And I was going to rack and ruin fearing the worst. And was not quite myself...tensed up and jittery and morose.
After the ten-minute talk, CLR threw himself over for questions from the audience. And there were none. GXM wanted to ask one but was rubbished by CLR that the esteemed HoD was talking through his proverbial hat, as usual.
Then GXM turned back and said that GPS is not doing his job well since there were only four members in the audience.
That got my goat.
I let it go at that, but after we all came out on to the corridor, GXM went on and on because I was not reacting...I had a rule that I would remain silent when I am deeply wounded. This egged him on and it reached my 'Yield Point'.
Then I don't know what happened. I broke into a barrage of parliamentary abuses and I gave him such a dose of verbal assaults that he was spellbound and was trying to babble unsuccessfully. CLR was enjoying the scene. GXM meanwhile wanted to go back to his Office mumbling one or two words...but I CHASED him till the end of the long corridor giving him no respite.
When the storm was over and I was looking for RSS and AD, I found they had vanished. And after a few seconds they peeped out of the common bathroom and came out only when they were sure that GXM went down to his room.
AD asked me: "Ki hoyecche sir, apney eto rege galein? Kono din dekhey ni"
And RSS joined me silently in my walk to the Post Office. And lo and behold there was this telegram announcing the arrival of my son and the well-being of the mother and child.
RSS then asked for a Party and we went to Harrys and relaxed.
Next morning everyone was smiling at me. And I found later on that RSS had proposed a lemma and circulated it:
"Whoever wants a son should go and abuse the current HoD"
Proof was in the pudding...
=====================================================================
When my Chetak broke into two pieces breaking my heart, I renounced riding it to the Department and started walking down, and enjoying it...the only fly in this ointment was that several well-meaning friends and acquaintances passing by in their cars, scooters, and even push bikes would stop and ask me to get in (or up). And I was too reluctant to accept such offers because I got to love that short walk. So, I was declining politely and they were insisting and it became such an embarrassing public spectacle that I bought a push bike and started walking lugging it along. And everyone thought it was a case of punctured tire and left it at that...except Amalendu on his scooter...he used to get down from his Chetak and lug that along by my side...but that was rare since his timings and mine didn't match.
During one of those crazy days Prof TKD of Cryogenics with whom I had a nodding acquaintance got down from his push bike, walked a few steps alongside me and said:
"Do you know Professor...you are known as Professor Cool in our circles"
...and got up and rode away.
That was news to me. Because I never thought I would be an object of talk since I rarely mixed with anyone except my students (in the class room) and a few colleagues on way to canteen. Anyway that set me thinking why and I ruminated and discovered that I rarely lost my cool with anyone in the campus...certainly not with students nor with colleagues.
Except in one incident for which there was no publicity because only a handful watched it.
Soon after SDM left for Calcutta after his retirement, Prof GXM became the HoD and wanted to guide me in his research work, as if I were his post-doc. And after a few sanguine attempts came to know that I was in no mood to work with anyone after working with SDM...it is like being asked to ride a pony after riding a tiger...mind you, I am NOT saying GXM is a pony...it is only a simile and no offense is intended...as a matter of fact, ponies serve humanity million times more than tigers do...live tigers are expensive and their market value is nil till they are poached and killed for their skin which is supposed to be an instrument of 'power meditation', and for their claws which are supposed to drive fear away from anyone who wears them in their amulets, and perhaps their marbles which Chinese say are viagra-substitues.
Then on GXM bore a grudge against me (and DB on a smaller scale). First he forced me to become Second-Year Lab-in-charge thinking that I will be a disaster. And after six months he removed me for reasons known only to him. Then he threatened to institute what he called were 'police cases' on two occasions in his unwisdom and had to eat crow.
Finally he made me Seminar-in-Charge.
I never said no to any valid responsibility he dumped on me...except that Post-Doc Business.
During those days no one was willing to give seminars nor eager to listen. That was because IIT KGP came up with a notorious rule: Everyone who gets to travel outside IIT for giving lectures, seminars, symposiums, workshops and the like should give a seminar after their return. Failing which their TA claims will not be processed. And they have to sign a form declaring that they did give a seminar and get it counter-signed by their HoD.
Recall Feynman and his tiff with bureaucracy...and his insistence that he will affix his signature not more than thirteen times.
In every other Dept, it became a joke...this manifest distrust by the authorities of the honesty of their employees. The HoDs decided to never insist on this 'forced' seminar business but just signed the 'certificate' in good faith.
But GXM was different...he wanted to use this figment of power in his hands...a cute case of Bernard Levin's Theorem:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2010/07/bernard-levins-theorem.html
He insisted that everyone from Research Scholars to Senior Professors give a seminar in which he would be present and ask questions and satisfy himself that no skullduggery had been there and then only sign the form. And as Seminar-in-Charge I had to advertise and collect a mob to watch his performance. But who wants to attend a 'TA Seminar'? Everyone knew it was a despicable formality...they went home.
So, there was this Friday evening when I arranged Prof CLR's TA seminar. And apart from me and him and the speaker there were two more...RSS and AD. And CLR went to the board and gave his talk to the august audience.
It so happened that for the past ten days there was no communication to me from my wife whom I had left at Jalgaon for her delivery. And I was going to rack and ruin fearing the worst. And was not quite myself...tensed up and jittery and morose.
After the ten-minute talk, CLR threw himself over for questions from the audience. And there were none. GXM wanted to ask one but was rubbished by CLR that the esteemed HoD was talking through his proverbial hat, as usual.
Then GXM turned back and said that GPS is not doing his job well since there were only four members in the audience.
That got my goat.
I let it go at that, but after we all came out on to the corridor, GXM went on and on because I was not reacting...I had a rule that I would remain silent when I am deeply wounded. This egged him on and it reached my 'Yield Point'.
Then I don't know what happened. I broke into a barrage of parliamentary abuses and I gave him such a dose of verbal assaults that he was spellbound and was trying to babble unsuccessfully. CLR was enjoying the scene. GXM meanwhile wanted to go back to his Office mumbling one or two words...but I CHASED him till the end of the long corridor giving him no respite.
When the storm was over and I was looking for RSS and AD, I found they had vanished. And after a few seconds they peeped out of the common bathroom and came out only when they were sure that GXM went down to his room.
AD asked me: "Ki hoyecche sir, apney eto rege galein? Kono din dekhey ni"
And RSS joined me silently in my walk to the Post Office. And lo and behold there was this telegram announcing the arrival of my son and the well-being of the mother and child.
RSS then asked for a Party and we went to Harrys and relaxed.
Next morning everyone was smiling at me. And I found later on that RSS had proposed a lemma and circulated it:
"Whoever wants a son should go and abuse the current HoD"
Proof was in the pudding...
=====================================================================
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