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Loos are back in the noos.
The other day, our own Khairatabadi ebullient and outspoken Minister (the one who said that IIT Teachers are no good) is reported to have said:
"India is the world capital of open defecation"
There may be a little hyperbole in that claim of us being the 'world capital'...many other countries may protest...but honestly I applaud his statement...out of patriotism...our economy seems to be in the doldrums and we have to depend, for fame, on our shooters instead of our 'troubleshooter supreme' who has been elevated, with justice, to the most exalted post in our constitution...and we are also experts as a nation in 'shooting our mouths off' and 'shooting ourselves in our feet'.
The other day, my son and myself visited our Passport Office in Secunderabad after a long and troubled drive of an hour and a half. The car-park there abuts the high wall of the exalted office. And it was clear that there was no public convenience anywhere nearby since we found the pass-port wall adorned with nascent world-maps...and of course wisdom dictated:
"Do in Secunderabad as Secunderbadis do"
Some years ago there was this cute and absolutely original proposal for discouraging grown-ups from relieving themselves on public walls: A camouflaged police van would go round, stop wherever it sees an offender and round him up inside the van to join such other urine-passers. The van, when filled to capacity, would travel to the outskirts of the city and dump its leaky passengers in that no-man's land, where they can safely relieve themselves to their bladders' content before trekking back to civilization on foot.
Our school in our seaside Village, Muthukur, was itself on its outskirts and was surrounded by shrub jungle. As soon as the Vontale-Bell (the gong announcing Urine-Break) went off, all of us would run to the jungle outside our fence and urinate our chosen plants. And the next day, we would compare whose plant wilted most...for, urea, though a good fertilizer in moderate doses, can kill plants if they are mercilessly fertilized on a daily basis. And of course there was this other parabolic competition....
What I want to emphasize is that the problem that so troubles our Minister is one of rapid unbridled urbanization.
Then again there is this front page news-item today:
"School Shocker...Students must clean toilets"
I mean...their own toilets, like Mahatma Gandhi's controversial diktat that EVERY resident and visitor to his Ashram (which forbade attached bathrooms) must clean its public toilet irrespective of whether he was Nehru or even our Minister mentioned above who is a Nehru-Gandhian as per Wiki.
The news-item above emanates from a senior IAS Lady Officer in charge of schools and has generated much controversy.
Sometime back there was this claim that India has abolished night-soil cleaners. A very welcome achievement, for, I have seen this practice in my boyhood and resented it.
One of the reasons, I am told, that folks who visit the US would prefer to stay there forever and never like to return to their homeland is that this nuisance is not seen there (there may be others...like prohibitive costs of education and health care). America, being the world-champion in technology, has a hi-tech solution for every problem...something that seems to be alien to our Indian culture which opposes introduction of anything that threatens to steal our hereditary jobs.
Without doubt, hi-tech toilets like commodes (when they flush) are most welcome compared to the common open latrines of our villages.
But compared to the stinking Indian open toilets, commodes come with their own problem. They are so comfy that people forget that others may be waiting outside. My Father who at 79 refused to use the western commode I installed in his house, got so used to it by and by that he had to be dragged back with chains...he suffered from chronic consti...
And a senior physics professor at IIT KGP was reputed to have installed a book-rack on the wall by the side of his toilet seat.
I myself, while I was composing my Ph D thesis in our Faculty Hostel at IIT KGP, where my single room came with an attached western toilet, used to take with me a pen and paper...lest the mot juste may slip from my mind.
And here is Saswat going ga-ga about MIT:
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This post is not for prudes...shift ho!
The other day, our own Khairatabadi ebullient and outspoken Minister (the one who said that IIT Teachers are no good) is reported to have said:
"India is the world capital of open defecation"
There may be a little hyperbole in that claim of us being the 'world capital'...many other countries may protest...but honestly I applaud his statement...out of patriotism...our economy seems to be in the doldrums and we have to depend, for fame, on our shooters instead of our 'troubleshooter supreme' who has been elevated, with justice, to the most exalted post in our constitution...and we are also experts as a nation in 'shooting our mouths off' and 'shooting ourselves in our feet'.
The other day, my son and myself visited our Passport Office in Secunderabad after a long and troubled drive of an hour and a half. The car-park there abuts the high wall of the exalted office. And it was clear that there was no public convenience anywhere nearby since we found the pass-port wall adorned with nascent world-maps...and of course wisdom dictated:
"Do in Secunderabad as Secunderbadis do"
Some years ago there was this cute and absolutely original proposal for discouraging grown-ups from relieving themselves on public walls: A camouflaged police van would go round, stop wherever it sees an offender and round him up inside the van to join such other urine-passers. The van, when filled to capacity, would travel to the outskirts of the city and dump its leaky passengers in that no-man's land, where they can safely relieve themselves to their bladders' content before trekking back to civilization on foot.
Our school in our seaside Village, Muthukur, was itself on its outskirts and was surrounded by shrub jungle. As soon as the Vontale-Bell (the gong announcing Urine-Break) went off, all of us would run to the jungle outside our fence and urinate our chosen plants. And the next day, we would compare whose plant wilted most...for, urea, though a good fertilizer in moderate doses, can kill plants if they are mercilessly fertilized on a daily basis. And of course there was this other parabolic competition....
What I want to emphasize is that the problem that so troubles our Minister is one of rapid unbridled urbanization.
Then again there is this front page news-item today:
"School Shocker...Students must clean toilets"
I mean...their own toilets, like Mahatma Gandhi's controversial diktat that EVERY resident and visitor to his Ashram (which forbade attached bathrooms) must clean its public toilet irrespective of whether he was Nehru or even our Minister mentioned above who is a Nehru-Gandhian as per Wiki.
The news-item above emanates from a senior IAS Lady Officer in charge of schools and has generated much controversy.
Sometime back there was this claim that India has abolished night-soil cleaners. A very welcome achievement, for, I have seen this practice in my boyhood and resented it.
One of the reasons, I am told, that folks who visit the US would prefer to stay there forever and never like to return to their homeland is that this nuisance is not seen there (there may be others...like prohibitive costs of education and health care). America, being the world-champion in technology, has a hi-tech solution for every problem...something that seems to be alien to our Indian culture which opposes introduction of anything that threatens to steal our hereditary jobs.
Without doubt, hi-tech toilets like commodes (when they flush) are most welcome compared to the common open latrines of our villages.
But compared to the stinking Indian open toilets, commodes come with their own problem. They are so comfy that people forget that others may be waiting outside. My Father who at 79 refused to use the western commode I installed in his house, got so used to it by and by that he had to be dragged back with chains...he suffered from chronic consti...
And a senior physics professor at IIT KGP was reputed to have installed a book-rack on the wall by the side of his toilet seat.
I myself, while I was composing my Ph D thesis in our Faculty Hostel at IIT KGP, where my single room came with an attached western toilet, used to take with me a pen and paper...lest the mot juste may slip from my mind.
And here is Saswat going ga-ga about MIT:
"...I have to say MIT is a very nerdy place. They have a bar somewhere in
one of their buildings (I was there some years ago so don't remember the
exact location) where they have a restroom with a big blackboard and
chalks ready in front of the urinals. In case you have a brilliant idea
while relieving yourself, the chalks are ready."
And their scribbles would come useful while claiming priority for patents...
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Today's headlines in a Hyderabadi leading newspaper reads: "Divine help sought to curb peeing in public; God's and saints will now step in to curb the menace of urinating in public..." Rest is imagination!
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