Failproof Systems

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 "So, eventually he made one final arrangement with himself, which he has religiously held to ever since, and that was to count each fish that he caught as ten, and to assume ten to begin with. For example, if he did not catch any fish at all, then he said he had caught ten fish --- you could never catch less than ten fish by this system; that was the foundation of it. Then, if by any chance he did catch one fish, he called it twenty, while two fish would count thirty, three forty, and so on.

It is a simple and easily worked plan, and there has been some talk of its being made use of by the angling fraternity in general. Indeed the Committee of the Thames Anglers' Association did recommend its adoption about two years ago, but some of the older members opposed it. They said they would consider the idea if the number were doubled, and each fish counted as twenty.

.......Three Men in a Boat

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During my student days, life was different...no one heard of human rights, child rights, wife rights, patient rights, prisoner rights and so on.

We held on to Victorian norms. 

Whenever I did some mischief at home or school, I got a hit on my head or back. And both my Father and I forgot about it for the nonce till tomorrow...I recall wondering one day and brooding severely if there would be any day when I am NOT going to be spanked by my Father. That was the norm. And spanking seemed to work for a while. 

Listen to Jerome K Jerome again:

"And they didn't give me pills; they gave me clumps on the side of the head. And, strange it may appear, those clumps on the head often cured me --- for the time being. I have known one clump on the head have more effect upon my liver, and make me feel more anxious to go straight away then and there, and do what was wanted to be done, without further loss of time, than a whole box of pills does now.

You know, it often is so --- those simple, old-fashioned remedies are sometimes more efficacious than all the dispensary stuff."

The pendulum has swung back with a vengeance, it seems...

Teachers are scared to even say "Shut Up!" to their students in a way that may be construed as hurting their tender feelings. There are umpteen number of Child Rights Bodies that are waiting in the wings to pounce.

Doctors are scared to give an injection or not to give an injection. If by chance the patient ignores his doctor's after-care instructions like not to smoke like a chulha or drink like a fish, and develops rashes....God Forbid...the Doc would lose his job and worse.

Mothers-in-law are scared to ask their daughters-in-law to cut down a bit on oil and salt in her cooking...there may be a revolt and (as Prof M was fond of saying) there may even be a "Police Case".

And the Police too are scared not to file an FIR on the salt-cum-oil complaint...if the Daughter-in-Law thereafter gets an insulting cold and cough and complains to the Women Rights Body, the Officer may be transferred to picturesque Salboni from Calcutta.


 
 


  http://www.bengalnewz.com/west_bengal/kolkata/082828591.html 

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And then I joined as a Teacher in 1965 at IIT KGP in W.B.

And I learned that my Father's tricks don't work there. I was told explicitly that IITs take in the "Cream of the Country".

[Aside: Ishani asked me the other day what cream I apply to my face. And I said: "Ice Cream"; and she was vastly amused for a whole minute.]

And that IITians had just passed the "toughest entrance exam in the world at that level".

So, the threat was that if I fail any student who submits a blank script in her Exams, it is understood that I have been the greatest failure as a Teacher...and a blot on the Department of Physics.

So then I applied Jerome K Jerome's prescription to the Angling Body:

"Blank Script" gets 35 (the Pass Mark).

Thereafter, every page that is scribbled on gets 20 with a cut-off at 100.

When I recommended my "System" to the Board of Examiners they said:

"This is a wonderful system..only it needs slight improvements"

I am sure things are now much better...with so many IITs and so many students (all of whom are the "Brylcream of the Country"), my "System" may be profoundly inadequate, needing drastic escalation.

Speak, Aniket!!! The floor is yours!!!!!!


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