Belt or Cravat?

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http://www.gutenberg.org/files/12/12-h/12-h.htm

 
'What a beautiful belt you've got on!' Alice suddenly remarked. 

(They had had quite enough of the subject of age, she thought: and if they really were to take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn now.) 'At least,' she corrected herself on second thoughts, 'a beautiful cravat, I should have said—no, a belt, I mean—I beg your pardon!' she added in dismay, for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly offended, and she began to wish she hadn't chosen that subject. 'If I only knew,' she thought to herself, 'which was neck and which was waist!' 

Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though he said nothing for a minute or two. When he DID speak again, it was in a deep growl. 

'It is a—MOST—PROVOKING—thing,' he said at last, 'when a person doesn't know a cravat from a belt!'

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I do not know what exactly is my relation to IIT KGP.

It certainly is not my alma mater since two of my precious degrees, B. Sc. (Hons) and M. Sc., were won, rather, from the Andhra University, Waltair.

Here is what an alma mater (nourishing mother) looks like at Columbia...Saswat must have seen her:

 

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Alma_Mater_at_Columbia.jpg

But my highest and the best degree, Ph. D. was surely WON from IIT KGP. And what a degree it was, Romans and Countrymen! As for its contribution to scientific knowledge, the less said the better...it is almost zilch.

But my Guide, SDM, didn't submit his Guide's Report till the reports of the Foreign Examiners were in and were delivered to him (he was also our HoD then and could ask for the file ex officio).  And then he found that C. H. Papas of Caltech started his 3-line Report thus:

"This thesis is beautifully written"

That's it! And SDM went head over heels and started his Report thus:

"This thesis deserves a Ph. D. not only in Physics but also English Literature"

(spin on Literature)

So, although I got only one Certificate, it is equal to two. 

So, I thought I should call IIT KGP at least my alma pater.

But I see that a chap calling himself alma pater sculpted a memorial for jews victims of Nazi Germany in Vilnius:

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Memorial_to_the_Jews_victims_of_Nazi_Germany_in_Vilnius2.JPG

So, pater is out.

Therefore I decided to call IIT KGP my:

"Alma Platter"

But I see that it has 484 hits with quotes. Guess it is a feminine name.

Still I will stick with it. For, alma comes from "alms" which itself comes from "pity", rather.

And "platter" means, you know, a large plate filled with sumptuous delicacies.

And IIT KGP doled me increasing food for decreasing work. I had to teach 21 hours a week when I joined her in 1965 (6-day week). And it gradually whittled down to 3 hours a week (5-day week) in 2005 while my gross pay increased from Rs 465 to Rs 42,000.

About 4 years ago, IM's Father paid us a short visit in Hyderabad. And it was a great pleasure for us to meet and talk to him...he won his Physics Degree from the Presidency College of Calcutta, eons ago when it was at the zenith of its glory...ok, ok, it still is.

And he said:

"My son has shifted from Sciences to Arts a few days ago...I won't tell you more about it....let him speak for himself"

And I was dumbfounded. After passing from IIT KGP in Physics, IM did a fancy Doctorate in String Theory at Princeton and then a Post-Doc at Berkeley in the same subject.

And this sudden change of heart for Arts baffled me...because I thought he went into Dancing or Painting (like Paul Gaugin) or Sculpture (he was always a Thinker of the Rodin mold) or even Singing (he did sing glories about Strings of all sorts saying they are the soul and whole of our Universe).

So, it was a total disillusionment for me when I probed and found out he was doing another Doctorate at MIT in Financial Economics.

That Finance & Economics of that sort was no more Arts was brought  to my knowledge when my alma platter started the Vinod Gupta School of Management and I was told that everyone there wanted to be in Finance.  Also because Sougato told me that his Research Scholars in London in Quantum Entanglement wanted him to assign problems with lots and lots and lots of computation, and when questioned, they replied that they wanted to get a job in Financial Entanglement where the healthy lucre was. 

Many were intrigued that a staid old institute like IIT KGP started a School of Management when there were so many great IIMs to do the job. But they reconciled to it.

I now see that my alma platter has many many more goodies on its platter.

There is a Dept of Medical Science & Technology...Hippocratic Oath. It offers a Degree called MMST. I got confused at first since Hyderabad has an MMTS which is a local train service.

There is a Rajendra Mishra School of Engineering Entrepreneurship. It offers an MS in Entrepreneurship.

This MS thing always bugged me: during my (and IM's Father's) youth, MS meant Master of Surgery and can only be got after MBBS (guess what it expands to). Now, we had an M. Sc. in Physics and a later addendum was an M. S. in Physics. This has nothing to do with Surgery except that a surgical excision was made in M. Sc. on the last letter 'c'.   Then came an M. Phil. that didn't lead to a D. Phil as far as I know.

Then we have the Rajiv Gandhi School of Intellectual Property Law. I think it gives an LL. B. This degree is another instance of verbal inversion. We knew of B. L. as Bachelor of Law and any deviant from it could as well be L. B. (like that photometer). But the double L must be serving a famous purpose I don't know as yet...I have to Google.

Then there is this wholesome thing:

Ranbir and Chitra Gupta School of Infrastructure Design and Management 

I can't as yet find out what degree or diploma they give.

And then there is a School of Water Resources.

This of course is a vital requirement in these times of water scarcity. The School has no name tagged to it. I think it is very nascent since it has only one faculty member other than the HoD.

I don't think I missed much of the new schools and centers.

But I always felt that IIT KGP is an Ornithologists' Paradise. And that a School of Biological Sciences won't be out of place. 

Birds of different feathers....



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