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Wisdom is one but unwisdoms are a thousand.
The worst is the urge to give advise to people who never asked you for it nor have any intention of following it. But with some people it is as compulsive a weakness as spitting while chewing a zarda paan.
Somerset Maugham was not above it as he narrates it in his Razor's Edge. Larry, the hero of the novel, announces his decision to give away his monies and become an itinerant taxi driver (after he realizes the hassle of attachment to worldly possessions).
Maugham: I don't often give advise...
Larry: Don't worry, I don't often take it...
Maugham: But a decent bank balance allows me to ask anyone I detest to go to hell.
Larry: I don't want to ask anyone to go to hell. But if I wanted to, the lack of a bank balance wouldn't come in the way...
I have not attained self-realization (yet), but I had always followed Larry's dictum. I never give unasked advice and never follow it when given. Yet, once in a while, folks do ask my advice and I know they would ask a dozen more people before taking their decision. If it works, they take the credit to themselves and if doesn't, they blame their advisers. So, when cornered, I do give my unwisdom away and forget it without following it up...another common weakness many have.
There was a time in my post-retirement life when I was bombarded with advices. Soon after retirement, for reasons known only to myself, I sank into a severe clinical depression. It was as if I was seeing myself drown unwillingly.
Now, everyone's depression is his own unique prize possession valued beyond everyone else's. Everyone who had it, cherishes it (if he survives it). Like Angela's whale of a shark which was about to swallow her good and whole when she lost hold of her aquaplaning board. No one should underestimate it. Like Tuppy did, dismissing it as a mere flatfish or even a floating plank. With the result that Angela canceled her engagement in a huff.
But everyone who had never undergone even a hint of depression think they have a right to offer eminent advice how to get over such a simple and imaginary whim of a malady.
It is ok...as Jesus said on the cross:
"Forgive them Father, for, they know not what they do"
But I can't forgive my eminent clinical psychiatrist who, on my third trip to him, asked me if there was any improvement after his medication.
I mumbled, none...on the other hand...
He was then cut up that I wasn't cooperating with him and pronounced:
"Either you take up a job or find your peace"
That was like the proverb I cited above. I can't do a job unless I have peace; and I can't, according to him, find peace unless I find a job. It was like that snake catching her own tail trying to swallow it:
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Marriage is the cure for his madness...
...but who will marry a madman?
...Proverb
...Like the previous gentleman, this man also figured in a group photo of select friends framed and hung in my father's study at Mysore. He also seemed to loathe history and economics and said, "You must pass some book-keeping and accountancy if you wish to try for a bank job. How does your father spend his time nowadays? He used to be such a fop!" He added, "He wrote to me that he has retired from service now. Now it is up to you young fellows to take over the family responsibilities..."
Well said, I thought. But that precisely is our problem now, sir. Why don't you put your shirt on and do something about it, instead of swinging back and forth in that silly manner advising people?
...RKN in My Days
Wisdom is one but unwisdoms are a thousand.
The worst is the urge to give advise to people who never asked you for it nor have any intention of following it. But with some people it is as compulsive a weakness as spitting while chewing a zarda paan.
Maugham: I don't often give advise...
Larry: I don't want to ask anyone to go to hell. But if I wanted to, the lack of a bank balance wouldn't come in the way...
There was a time in my post-retirement life when I was bombarded with advices. Soon after retirement, for reasons known only to myself, I sank into a severe clinical depression. It was as if I was seeing myself drown unwillingly.
Now, everyone's depression is his own unique prize possession valued beyond everyone else's. Everyone who had it, cherishes it (if he survives it). Like Angela's whale of a shark which was about to swallow her good and whole when she lost hold of her aquaplaning board. No one should underestimate it. Like Tuppy did, dismissing it as a mere flatfish or even a floating plank. With the result that Angela canceled her engagement in a huff.
But everyone who had never undergone even a hint of depression think they have a right to offer eminent advice how to get over such a simple and imaginary whim of a malady.
It is ok...as Jesus said on the cross:
"Forgive them Father, for, they know not what they do"
But I can't forgive my eminent clinical psychiatrist who, on my third trip to him, asked me if there was any improvement after his medication.
I mumbled, none...on the other hand...
He was then cut up that I wasn't cooperating with him and pronounced:
"Either you take up a job or find your peace"
That was like the proverb I cited above. I can't do a job unless I have peace; and I can't, according to him, find peace unless I find a job. It was like that snake catching her own tail trying to swallow it:
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