Thursday, March 14, 2013

Yes But, No But!

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Father was fond of telling me this story (when mom was busy in her kitchen):

Sage Uddalaka, of the Tatvamasi Svetaketo fame, had a wife he fondly called Chandi. She was devoted to him but had a mind of her own which happened to be permanently aligned opposite to her hubby's like the North and South poles.

On the tenth death anniversary of his father, Uddalaka wished to perform the rites religiously. Since he knew his wife too well, he told her he would skip the rites altogether. Upon which she insisted he do them come what may. He agreed and said that he would take a short cut and skip inviting the three default brahmins for the rituals and the lunch that follows. Upon which Chandi abused him and she herself went forth and procured three illustrious brahmins. And so on...

Uddalaka was immensely pleased that his ploys were working smoothly. After the wingding went through to a tee, he blessed her and so forgot himself that he asked her to please feed the sacrificial morsels (pindas) to their holy cow...the final rite.

Upon which she took them and fed them to a pie-dog...

Something similar often happens in parliaments nowadays.

Father also used to tell this story whenever his subordinate teachers refused to obey him:

Raam, Sita, and Laxman were walking in single file through the forests of South India and crossed the river Pennar and entered Nellore District (where Father was posted as HM throughout his career). And Raam felt thirsty and asked Laxman to please fetch him a pail of water. Upon which Laxman asked Raam to go to the river and quench his thirst himself instead of ordering folks around.

Sita was angry and asked her husband to punish his brother for his impunity. Upon which Raam comforted her:

"It is not the fault of Laxman...it is the sthala mahatyam (Nellore soil)"

Soon they crossed the river Kalangi (end of Nellore District) and Laxman was back to his old reverent self.

In my youth the feminist movement was at its peak. One of its slogans was:

"Whatever I do, whatever I wear, a 'yes' is yes and a 'no' is no!"

But there is only one way of saying 'yes' but a hundred ways of saying 'no', starting with: 'not now'.

During the 1990s I was teaching an M.Sc. class of 12 at IIT KGP. The batch had two young and enthusiastic students who loved to argue with me on points of physics I was talking to them. I used to refer to one of them:

"Yes, but!" 

and the other as:

"No, but!" 

because that was how the two would start their objections variously.

About the same time, I was also teaching a Second Year B.Tech (Chemical Engg) batch of about 50 students. I was supposed to teach them QM from Planck's Law to Band Theory in small doses. There were six sections each of different Engg streams and we were six teachers teaching them, one section each. We six had a Particle Physicist, a Nuclear Physicist, a Spectroscopist, two X-ray Crystallographers and a Jack of all Trades (me). The two X-ray profs wanted that an entire class hour should be spent by each of us enumerating the 7 crystal systems like the cubic, tetragonal, orthorhombic...in all their glory (with an understanding that a question on them was obligatory in the question paper). 

You know how it is...

I was reluctant to list these boring things on the blackboard since the students already had them in their revised Class XII books. But I had no way out.

When I finished filling the blackboard with all those figures, a young physics buff called Rupak Mahapatra stood up in his last bench seat and asked me querulously:

"Is this Physics?"

I had to admit:

"No, but it is the more important Crystallography"

Upon which there was an uproar...

On graduating from ChE, Rupak shifted to hardcore physics in the US and is now a faculty at TAMU:



http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2010/01/russi-modis-tom-cat.html

Here is his latest update...he is flush with awards and funds and is chasing dark matter floating all around us, even in India:  


 




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