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English language doesn't need my certificate...it was the other way round...I needed English for my education in physics...somewhat.
English is easily the richest language in the world...it has a million and more words in its dictionary...our own 'Jai Ho' being one of the strongest contenders for the dubious distinction of being its millionth word.
The spread of English is no doubt due the British Empire that girdled the earth owing to England being the Nation of Shopkeepers. But the uppish Englishmen rarely mixed with the natives nor, with odd exceptions, learned their languages. Rather, they taught them English so the dirty work of their Empire could be done with as little blood and mud on their hands as possible...I was reading the other day that Bharat Ratna Govind Ballabh Pant, ex-Home Minister of Free India (Hmmm!), was once so badly hit on his neck by a native policeman, while he (GBP) was protesting nonviolently, that his (GBP's) head used to always shake ever since...and later on GBP ungrudgingly signed the promotion letter of the said policeman saying:
"After all, he was doing his duty...and I mine"
So, English spread rapidly in its various allotropic forms like Butler English, Pidgin English, Chinglish, Tinglish, Binglish and finally our own Hinglish.
My colleagues in the Physics Dept at IIT KGP used to taunt me that my survival there for all those 4 decades is not due to my knowledge of physics but to my felicity with English...as usual I took it as a compliment...after all it is this funny language that is keeping me busy post-retirement...due to my ignorance of serious physics.
My son tells me a similar story. He has been of late cracking a slew of his departmental exams in both Management and Technology rather effortlessly; and he attributes this to his understanding of the nuances of English and his training at IIT KGP as a student...looks like the combo is unbeatable.
I have often wondered what would I be doing now if the British didn't bother to conquer India and impose their language on us. Certainly I wouldn't have heard of Shakespeare or Keats or Wodehouse or even RKN...the loss would entirely have been mine.
Most probably I would be a Purohit helping perform Homams, Havans, Pujas, Griha Praveshes, Namkaranams, Marriages and...ahem...Funerals.
And financially I would have been far better off.
For, the Lion of the Hyderabad Pundits charged me a cool Rs 1 lakh for performing the elaborate 13-day funeral rites of my wife a year ago. He is the the lynchpin of a mighty Pundit Empire, going round the city and its precincts in a Mahindra Bolero gifted by a Minister, sporting a slim gold chain round his neck and a couple of high-end cell phones in his hands and pockets.
And he has an entourage I never had.
The cost of the rituals equaled the 20% co-payment I made for the cancer-treatment of my wife...the other 80% was graciously borne by the health insurance my son was entitled to as an employee of a multinational.
Pretty soon I guess some enterprising Hyderabadi Insurance Company (in cahoots with the Pundit Empire) would be covering our funeral expenses too...provided we paid a hefty enough premium and the small print held that we died an untimely death...whose interpretation would be at the mercy of the Hyderabadi Insurer's undertakers...sorry underwriters...
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English language doesn't need my certificate...it was the other way round...I needed English for my education in physics...somewhat.
English is easily the richest language in the world...it has a million and more words in its dictionary...our own 'Jai Ho' being one of the strongest contenders for the dubious distinction of being its millionth word.
The spread of English is no doubt due the British Empire that girdled the earth owing to England being the Nation of Shopkeepers. But the uppish Englishmen rarely mixed with the natives nor, with odd exceptions, learned their languages. Rather, they taught them English so the dirty work of their Empire could be done with as little blood and mud on their hands as possible...I was reading the other day that Bharat Ratna Govind Ballabh Pant, ex-Home Minister of Free India (Hmmm!), was once so badly hit on his neck by a native policeman, while he (GBP) was protesting nonviolently, that his (GBP's) head used to always shake ever since...and later on GBP ungrudgingly signed the promotion letter of the said policeman saying:
"After all, he was doing his duty...and I mine"
So, English spread rapidly in its various allotropic forms like Butler English, Pidgin English, Chinglish, Tinglish, Binglish and finally our own Hinglish.
My colleagues in the Physics Dept at IIT KGP used to taunt me that my survival there for all those 4 decades is not due to my knowledge of physics but to my felicity with English...as usual I took it as a compliment...after all it is this funny language that is keeping me busy post-retirement...due to my ignorance of serious physics.
My son tells me a similar story. He has been of late cracking a slew of his departmental exams in both Management and Technology rather effortlessly; and he attributes this to his understanding of the nuances of English and his training at IIT KGP as a student...looks like the combo is unbeatable.
I have often wondered what would I be doing now if the British didn't bother to conquer India and impose their language on us. Certainly I wouldn't have heard of Shakespeare or Keats or Wodehouse or even RKN...the loss would entirely have been mine.
Most probably I would be a Purohit helping perform Homams, Havans, Pujas, Griha Praveshes, Namkaranams, Marriages and...ahem...Funerals.
And financially I would have been far better off.
For, the Lion of the Hyderabad Pundits charged me a cool Rs 1 lakh for performing the elaborate 13-day funeral rites of my wife a year ago. He is the the lynchpin of a mighty Pundit Empire, going round the city and its precincts in a Mahindra Bolero gifted by a Minister, sporting a slim gold chain round his neck and a couple of high-end cell phones in his hands and pockets.
And he has an entourage I never had.
The cost of the rituals equaled the 20% co-payment I made for the cancer-treatment of my wife...the other 80% was graciously borne by the health insurance my son was entitled to as an employee of a multinational.
Pretty soon I guess some enterprising Hyderabadi Insurance Company (in cahoots with the Pundit Empire) would be covering our funeral expenses too...provided we paid a hefty enough premium and the small print held that we died an untimely death...whose interpretation would be at the mercy of the Hyderabadi Insurer's undertakers...sorry underwriters...
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