Monday, June 10, 2013

Farmyard Metaphors - 15

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Talking of bees I am reminded of the metaphor 'beeline'.

Webster says that there was a notion that, after flitting from flower to flower and collecting all the nectar it could hold, the busy bee makes out a straight path of least distance to its hive. This may or may not be true but this is what making a beeline means.

Homing pigeons and Siberian cranes that travel straight paths of thousands of kilometers have fascinated scientists over the ages. I have not updated my info but there was a time when these birds were supposed to use earth's magnetic field during daytime and heaven's star-field in the nights to guide them along their straight and narrow paths. Bees were also supposed to indicate fresh sources of nectar to their fellow-bees by doing intricate steps of aerobic dancing.

And they have been performing these impressive feats millions of years before man came up with his GPS.

Talking of beelines I recall the primitive times of the 1960s at IIT KGP when our salaries were disbursed in cash on the 1st of every month (or the next working day) from a single counter in the Cash Section in the Old Building. All of us, faculty and staff, had to go there and stand in an unending line to get our wages. HoDs used to send their office assistants with authorization forms.

It was a mela. All our classes and sitting rooms were in the Main Building which was about 300 meters from the Old Building. There was a pucca road between the two but it was a detour taking double the walking time. And so all of us used a narrow foot trail through the shrub jungle that separated the Old Building from the Main Building. It was a nightmare of sorts during the monsoon months when the prickly reeds spanned our trail.

And everyone knew whoever succeeded in pocketing their pays from the pricks and brambles that stuck fast to their pants...their mark of the month...

Those days the SBI Branch of IIT KGP was housed in a tiny building, and refused to take up the task of dispensing IIT salaries till they were given ample space and a huge big building of their own. Which took a decade and more.

Finally, our SBI got their own plush building just outside the boundary wall of the ECE Department. And all of us were asked to open Savings Accounts with our SBI and pass on our Account Numbers to IIT so our pays could be deposited straight into our accounts. 

But our salaries were so meager that we were all waiting for the 1st of every month to invade the new SBI building. But we were reluctant to go out of the Main Building and walk half a kilometer to the imposing SBI Gate. So we made a beeline through the trail behind the ECE building but found a boundary wall obstructing our paths. 

And within a few days the wall accrued on both its sides a few boulders strategically placed so we could scale it and jump down on the other side...

The SBI authorities were concerned and asked IIT to open a side gate in the strategic boundary wall and post a security guard to man it. And soon there was a fight between the SBI and IIT as to who should pay the man securing the side gate...and the security guard was withdrawn, and the gate locked up whole and good.

And we then scaled the gate...

RP and RK Halls of students were too close to the Main Building for their residents to invest their valued funds in buying pushbikes...whenever they wanted to go to Gole Bazaar they borrowed their friends' from the far-off Halls...and lost them.

The RPites and RKites, in their hurry to beat the 8 AM deadline to the classes, used to scale the boundary wall of the Main Building till huge posters came up threatening them:

"Scaling wall is strictly prohibited"

Oh, ok...it never worked...

Once during the turbulent 1970s of the Workers Movement there was a Bangla Bandh which the political parties wanted to impose on IIT as well. The IIT admin was against closing the Institute for even a precious day. And so teachers and students wanted to bypass the cordon of women and girl workers squatting in front of the Main Gate. And the hundreds of students and staff wanting to assert their Right to Education did it by scaling the wall with official connivance.

The poster 'strictly prohibiting' it was withdrawn then on...

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Catline

 Aniket sent me this story a while ago:


A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Suni, is the cat there?”

“Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”

Frustrated, the man answered, “Put that cat on the phone, I’m lost and need directions!”


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