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Since I grew up as a healthy rustic kid, I never wore fancy specs or goggles...Ishani has been wearing her blue goggles stylishly since she was 2.
So the sudden arrival of rather heavy and powerful bifocals at 45 on my nose-bridge was severely disorienting. The worst part of the deal was what can be called the Staircase Syndrome.
My sitting room which I shared with DB in the Phy Dept at IIT KGP was on the first floor. And so I had to frequently climb down the stairs for my canteen trips and climb up for the lab classes. And every transit on the stairs was perplexing...I saw two or more stairs when there was one and none when there were a couple more to come down. And was constantly fearful of knocking up and falling down. Indeed I goofed a couple of times to the merriment of my students.
So I decided after the first few attempts not to wear my bifocals except when I had to read, since my far vision was perfect. But my job and hobby was reading in my office as well as at home. And this led to the classic syndrome that my specs were on my bed at home when I needed them in my office, and were on my office table when I needed them at home.
So I invested heavily in a spare pair of bifocals, one for the office and the other for home.
But found soon enough that specs are more like bosons than fermions...both would be at home or in the office whenever convenient for them and inconvenient for me.
This behavior of specs closely resembles the behavior of umbrellas.
During my school days in Muthukur, there was only one umbrella at our home and that belonged exclusively to my Father. It was a massive affair built more for longevity than comfort...I guess it is still there in Gudur.
The Coromandel Coast, as I mentioned more than once, lies in the rain shadow region of the South-West monsoon and so we had only a month or so of rainy season in November. The rest of the year it was hot summer. And our rains in November were accompanied often by gales and cyclones and any umbrella, however sturdy, used to do a flip-flop like the Ammonia molecule in its maser. And my HM-Father used to declare a Rainy Day on such occasions and we used to enjoy eating hot onions roasted on coal-fire at home.
So Father's umbrella was useful to him on hot and sunny days. And he used to cover the black clothing of his umbrella with a white jacket. I didn't know the reason for this extra gilding till I read about blackbody radiation at my University.
Anyway I never used an umbrella even in my University years at Vizagh which had pretty good rainfall. It was a sort of reverse snobbery...students should get wet before entering the class room rather than carry dripping umbrellas like old women.
But things changed as soon I reached IIT KGP. For one thing, KGP was right on the monsoon trough and had copious rainfall, some three times that of Muthukur. And it was treacherous and capricious. It would be bright sunshine when I started from my Faculty Hostel on my rusted pushbike but would pour by when I reached Harrys. And since I was suddenly a teacher rather than a student, it was awkward to stand on the lecture podium all wet from top to bottom when every Bengali student in the class was bone-dry with his dripping umbrella by his or her side...Bengali kids those days got their Paul Bros umbrellas as gifts on their first birthday...and Duckback raincoats on their second.
So I had to go to Gole bazaar and buy a heavy umbrella as long as a walking stick.
And soon I found that my umbrella would be in the Hostel when it rained in the Department and vice versa.
And so I bought another one...one to be kept in the Hostel and the other in the Office.
And found they too behaved like bosons and were found twined together at the wrong place when needed most.
And on the rare occasion when I left my umbrella in my office and went for the lecture class and returned tired with a warm glow of anticipation to walk down to the canteen for that much needed cup of tea and fag in driving rain, I found my umbrella missing from its stand by the wall. And ask DB what happened. And learn that Prof KVR had just then led a delegation to the canteen and they went collecting all umbrellas found in open rooms.
And walk to the canteen dripping wet. And have my cup of tea and fag and find that it would be bright sunshine. And Prof KVR would smile and approach me with my dripping umbrella and return it then and there with so many thanks. And I had to carry the damn thing that was pretty useless by then back to my office...since KVR was a decade older to me and I couldn't tell him off. For there was then this unwritten rule of etiquette that a thing borrowed had to be returned at the place where it was borrowed from. Like for instance, DB would run to my home to borrow my fat Morse and Feshbach and take it to the Tech Market for xeroxing a few pages. And would find me in the Market after an hour and would love to return my fat book then and there...not done...he had to carry it back to my home and deliver it there which he never did.
Anyway, that was about my pair of bachelor umbrellas.
And then I got married and my darling wife needed an umbrella to walk down to her clinic on a daily basis. By then fancy ladies umbrellas hit the Tech Market and I could gift her one to be carried in her handbag.
And she would be waiting for the arrival of our youthful maid in early morning driving rain but she wouldn't arrive, no way. So my wife had to clean up the utensils and home and wash all the clothes and by then it would be sunshine and the maid would arrive duly. And make an excuse that she didn't have an umbrella.
And so I had to buy a fancy umbrella for our fancy maid with strict instructions not to lose it or lend it or leave it but carry it with her always...Ha! The next rainy morning my wife would find our maid's umbrella safe in our kitchen.
And then I bought my Chetak scooter and our mobility increased by leaps and bounds and my wife and I would often drive down to Gole Bazaar and would be caught in the KGP rain by the time we were wading through the Railway Maidan.
So I bought another fancy umbrella to be safe-kept securely in the Chetak toolkit forever. But would find it missing on our next trip midway to Gole Bazaar...it would be at home...
And then I bought my Maruti Car and a couple of folding fancy umbrellas, one in the glove compartment and the other in the hatchback...both would be missing by and by since my son grew up to IIT and would borrow them when needed by his friends...of both sexes.
Ultimately by the time I retired from IIT KGP, I had half a dozen and more fancy umbrellas which I had to part with as goodwill gestures to maids and dhobis and drivers since their need was more than mine...we were going to
Hyderabad which needed no umbrellas; while KGP had itinerant umbrella repairers and rooted ones on the cemented floors of Tech Market, Hyderabad has no such culture. You won't get them for love or money. There is scanty rainfall here and no one can hold an umbrella overhead and try to walk on its busy jostling streets.
Anyway, to return to my bifocals at KGP, I discovered soon enough that the safest place for specs is on the nose. And learned to negotiate staircases by and by without more downfalls.
And discovered lately that the combo of bifocals and cataract is deadly for walking down staircases. Like wind and forest fire...
************************************************************************************************************
Since I grew up as a healthy rustic kid, I never wore fancy specs or goggles...Ishani has been wearing her blue goggles stylishly since she was 2.
So the sudden arrival of rather heavy and powerful bifocals at 45 on my nose-bridge was severely disorienting. The worst part of the deal was what can be called the Staircase Syndrome.
My sitting room which I shared with DB in the Phy Dept at IIT KGP was on the first floor. And so I had to frequently climb down the stairs for my canteen trips and climb up for the lab classes. And every transit on the stairs was perplexing...I saw two or more stairs when there was one and none when there were a couple more to come down. And was constantly fearful of knocking up and falling down. Indeed I goofed a couple of times to the merriment of my students.
So I decided after the first few attempts not to wear my bifocals except when I had to read, since my far vision was perfect. But my job and hobby was reading in my office as well as at home. And this led to the classic syndrome that my specs were on my bed at home when I needed them in my office, and were on my office table when I needed them at home.
So I invested heavily in a spare pair of bifocals, one for the office and the other for home.
But found soon enough that specs are more like bosons than fermions...both would be at home or in the office whenever convenient for them and inconvenient for me.
This behavior of specs closely resembles the behavior of umbrellas.
During my school days in Muthukur, there was only one umbrella at our home and that belonged exclusively to my Father. It was a massive affair built more for longevity than comfort...I guess it is still there in Gudur.
The Coromandel Coast, as I mentioned more than once, lies in the rain shadow region of the South-West monsoon and so we had only a month or so of rainy season in November. The rest of the year it was hot summer. And our rains in November were accompanied often by gales and cyclones and any umbrella, however sturdy, used to do a flip-flop like the Ammonia molecule in its maser. And my HM-Father used to declare a Rainy Day on such occasions and we used to enjoy eating hot onions roasted on coal-fire at home.
So Father's umbrella was useful to him on hot and sunny days. And he used to cover the black clothing of his umbrella with a white jacket. I didn't know the reason for this extra gilding till I read about blackbody radiation at my University.
Anyway I never used an umbrella even in my University years at Vizagh which had pretty good rainfall. It was a sort of reverse snobbery...students should get wet before entering the class room rather than carry dripping umbrellas like old women.
But things changed as soon I reached IIT KGP. For one thing, KGP was right on the monsoon trough and had copious rainfall, some three times that of Muthukur. And it was treacherous and capricious. It would be bright sunshine when I started from my Faculty Hostel on my rusted pushbike but would pour by when I reached Harrys. And since I was suddenly a teacher rather than a student, it was awkward to stand on the lecture podium all wet from top to bottom when every Bengali student in the class was bone-dry with his dripping umbrella by his or her side...Bengali kids those days got their Paul Bros umbrellas as gifts on their first birthday...and Duckback raincoats on their second.
So I had to go to Gole bazaar and buy a heavy umbrella as long as a walking stick.
And soon I found that my umbrella would be in the Hostel when it rained in the Department and vice versa.
And so I bought another one...one to be kept in the Hostel and the other in the Office.
And found they too behaved like bosons and were found twined together at the wrong place when needed most.
And on the rare occasion when I left my umbrella in my office and went for the lecture class and returned tired with a warm glow of anticipation to walk down to the canteen for that much needed cup of tea and fag in driving rain, I found my umbrella missing from its stand by the wall. And ask DB what happened. And learn that Prof KVR had just then led a delegation to the canteen and they went collecting all umbrellas found in open rooms.
And walk to the canteen dripping wet. And have my cup of tea and fag and find that it would be bright sunshine. And Prof KVR would smile and approach me with my dripping umbrella and return it then and there with so many thanks. And I had to carry the damn thing that was pretty useless by then back to my office...since KVR was a decade older to me and I couldn't tell him off. For there was then this unwritten rule of etiquette that a thing borrowed had to be returned at the place where it was borrowed from. Like for instance, DB would run to my home to borrow my fat Morse and Feshbach and take it to the Tech Market for xeroxing a few pages. And would find me in the Market after an hour and would love to return my fat book then and there...not done...he had to carry it back to my home and deliver it there which he never did.
Anyway, that was about my pair of bachelor umbrellas.
And then I got married and my darling wife needed an umbrella to walk down to her clinic on a daily basis. By then fancy ladies umbrellas hit the Tech Market and I could gift her one to be carried in her handbag.
And she would be waiting for the arrival of our youthful maid in early morning driving rain but she wouldn't arrive, no way. So my wife had to clean up the utensils and home and wash all the clothes and by then it would be sunshine and the maid would arrive duly. And make an excuse that she didn't have an umbrella.
And so I had to buy a fancy umbrella for our fancy maid with strict instructions not to lose it or lend it or leave it but carry it with her always...Ha! The next rainy morning my wife would find our maid's umbrella safe in our kitchen.
And then I bought my Chetak scooter and our mobility increased by leaps and bounds and my wife and I would often drive down to Gole Bazaar and would be caught in the KGP rain by the time we were wading through the Railway Maidan.
So I bought another fancy umbrella to be safe-kept securely in the Chetak toolkit forever. But would find it missing on our next trip midway to Gole Bazaar...it would be at home...
And then I bought my Maruti Car and a couple of folding fancy umbrellas, one in the glove compartment and the other in the hatchback...both would be missing by and by since my son grew up to IIT and would borrow them when needed by his friends...of both sexes.
Ultimately by the time I retired from IIT KGP, I had half a dozen and more fancy umbrellas which I had to part with as goodwill gestures to maids and dhobis and drivers since their need was more than mine...we were going to
Hyderabad which needed no umbrellas; while KGP had itinerant umbrella repairers and rooted ones on the cemented floors of Tech Market, Hyderabad has no such culture. You won't get them for love or money. There is scanty rainfall here and no one can hold an umbrella overhead and try to walk on its busy jostling streets.
Anyway, to return to my bifocals at KGP, I discovered soon enough that the safest place for specs is on the nose. And learned to negotiate staircases by and by without more downfalls.
And discovered lately that the combo of bifocals and cataract is deadly for walking down staircases. Like wind and forest fire...
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