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During my long life of 70 years from a village bumpkin to a city-slick oldie, I have been fortunate to watch a number of revolutions taking place in front of my Indian eyes. Most of these are in the fields of science and technology. But far more than their impact on our society has been the empowerment of women and children, at least in the law books.
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The Female of the Species
WHEN the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
... Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
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Nehrujee called him his favorite author. And Kipling was the first and youngest to win the Literature Nobel in English. But Orwell called him an imperialist...and Orwell knew all about imperialism and communism. And in today's India, he would be labeled sexist for those derogatory lines about the female of the species being deadlier than the male although he was not referring in those two stanzas (there are many more) to our own homo sapiens.
During my long life of 70 years from a village bumpkin to a city-slick oldie, I have been fortunate to watch a number of revolutions taking place in front of my Indian eyes. Most of these are in the fields of science and technology. But far more than their impact on our society has been the empowerment of women and children, at least in the law books.
A very common problem in our hated arithmetic books in the 1950s ran like this:
"Men are paid at the rate of Rs 1 for a day of labor. Women, Rs 0.50, and children, Rs. 0.25. This contractor employed 10 men, 20 women and 40 children. Calculate the amount he paid from his pocket for the work which took 10 days to complete"
None...no one...ever objected to this problem. But I guess such a problem would never appear in the NCERT books of today....the author would be sued and jailed for discrimination against women and children.
It is a different matter that the practice continues, to the best of my knowledge. But the invocation of laws in our country nowadays are loaded against the rich and powerful, with a vengeance. Things that were hushed up only a few years ago are now out in the open, particularly if the man is someone that makes a good story for the newspapers and TV, and does not belong to the political class. Mere money and prestige won't cut ice any longer...or so it seems.
Women have been different from men for a million years or more biologically and psychologically. I never fail to be amused by the traits of Ishani that I never watched in her dad when he was her age. Nowadays she enters my room gingerly with her Minnie Mouse cuddled in her arms. And when I hail her:
"Hi! Ishani!"
she silences me with a whisper:
"Hush! Can't you see she is sleeping?"
But the attitude of men to their women and vice versa must have seen many ups and downs. Not much is available about the cave man and the cave woman except some hilarious Punch cartoons. But as far as argument and lung power went, I guess gypsy women scored over their men by a mile and more.
Here is Tagore talking of gypsies he watched from his window:
"I
got up and went to the window, and saw a crowd gathered around the
gypsy residence. At its centre was a personage flourishing a stick and
using the choicest language. The leader of the gypsies cowered in front
of him, apparently trying to offer explanations. I gathered that
suspicious happenings in the area had attracted the attentions of a
police constable.
The woman had so far remained seated, busily scraping the lengths of split bamboo as serenely as if she had been alone and there was no row in progress. All of a sudden she sprang to her feet, strode up to the constable, gesticulated violently in his face with her arms, and loudly gave him a piece of her mind. In the twinkling of an eye three-quarters of the officer's haughtiness subsided; although he attempted to say a word or two in mild protest he got little chance. He backed off in a manner much different from his arrival. When he had retired to a safe distance, he shouted back: 'All I say is, you'd better get out of here!'
I expected my neighbours to pack their mats, roll up their bundles, rustle up their pigs and their offspring, and make their exit forthwith. But there is no sign of it as yet. They are still nonchalantly splitting bamboos, cooking food, and picking lice. "
The woman had so far remained seated, busily scraping the lengths of split bamboo as serenely as if she had been alone and there was no row in progress. All of a sudden she sprang to her feet, strode up to the constable, gesticulated violently in his face with her arms, and loudly gave him a piece of her mind. In the twinkling of an eye three-quarters of the officer's haughtiness subsided; although he attempted to say a word or two in mild protest he got little chance. He backed off in a manner much different from his arrival. When he had retired to a safe distance, he shouted back: 'All I say is, you'd better get out of here!'
I expected my neighbours to pack their mats, roll up their bundles, rustle up their pigs and their offspring, and make their exit forthwith. But there is no sign of it as yet. They are still nonchalantly splitting bamboos, cooking food, and picking lice. "
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Now, an apologetic note on the cartoon graph above.
Feynman's second marriage (he had three) ended up in a divorce due to arguments, and arguments alone.
"Near the end of that year in Brazil I took one of the air hostesses - a very lovely girl with braids - to the museum. As we went through the Egyptian section, I found myself telling her things like, "The wings on the sarcophagus mean such-and-such, and in these vases they used to put the entrails, and around the corner there oughta be a so-and-so..." and I thought to myself, "You know where you learned all that stuff? From Mary Lou" - and I got lonely for her.
I met Mary Lou at Cornell and later, when I came to Pasadena, I found that she had come to Westwood, nearby. I liked her for a while, but we used to argue a bit; finally we decided it was hopeless, and we separated. But after a year of taking out these air hostesses, and not really getting anywhere, I was frustrated. So when I was telling this girl all these things, I thought Mary Lou really was quite wonderful, and we shouldn't have had all those arguments.
I wrote a letter to her and proposed. Somebody who's wise could have told me that was dangerous: When you're away and you have got nothing but paper, and you're feeling lonely, you remember all those good things and you can't remember the reasons you had the arguments. And it didn't work out. The arguments started again right away, and the marriage lasted only for two years."
For all I know that marriage would have lasted forever had Feynman won all those arguments...MCP!...
Speaking for myself, my wife and I married each other as a last resort...she was 29 and I, 36. And the marriage lasted well and good for just 33 years before she was snatched away to heaven. And when we got married, without any dating, we were too old and too lazy for arguments.
But I watched my mom and dad who stayed married for a good 60 years, give or take a year, starting at 21 and 14 respectively. Their marriage ended physically when he was swept to heaven at 80. But the graph in the cartoon above says it all about their arguments that I watched with interest. And when they meet in heaven, I am sure the graph would continue at that base line...
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