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It goes by different names...thair, butter, olive oil...but it is the same thing...good old flattery.
The first I heard of this concept was in my university at Vizagh. At school we did, sort of, respect our teachers but there was no flattery. As soon as I reached our university, I heard the word thair. It was a new word to me since it was neither a Telugu word nor an English one...the two languages I knew then. By and by I came to know that it was a Tamil word meaning curd. How curd came to be associated with flattery was not quite evident to me...nor was butter of course. Perhaps they were rudimentary lubricants...like olive oil.
On the very first day at my university I came to know that professors there were very powerful...there was then an internal part of evaluation. Although the question papers were set by external examiners, internal chaps did moderate them. Although our scripts were evaluated first by the external examiner, they were then re-evaluated by internals...
So we were asked to keep our professors pleased at all times and we did our best by standing up when we saw them and bowing and bending as often as we could...but not touching their feet...this custom was alien to us.
When I went to IIT KGP the mix of students there was truly all-India and I was most pleased that, as a teacher, I was neither buttered up explicitly nor was I expected to butter up my seniors and HoDs.
Liberation.
But not the research scholars...they were bound those days hand and foot to their research guides who were all-powerful. Most Andhra guides expected their scholars to do their bidding unconditionally. Some expected their students to help them in their shopping, carrying their bags, see them off at the Railway Station when they left KGP, sleep in their Qrs as night guards when they were away, and open and close doors for them. Of course this was an extreme instance...but the culture was there alright.
On the other hand, Bengali guides and their scholars were liberated from the physical aspects of buttering mentioned above. They were free. But, like Hermione above, the guides expected to be loved for their intellect alright...all the time. If any scholar, by mistake, praises his rival, the guide's fury had no upper bound.
IIT KGP was a small place then and all these laughable traits were just laughed at and forgot. It must be a huge mammoth now and whatever I wrote above makes no sense now perhaps.
And I don't know the condition of research scholars in the US.
Buttering starts from childhood and continues to the grave and beyond. Nowadays my only weapon with Ishani to make her listen to me and not steer the car or change gears or honk at will is to praise her sky-high:
"Look Ishani! You are the sweetest girl I have ever seen..."
Of course the marital condition is always smoothed by olive oil applied appropriately.
And when anyone passes away in our families, there was this custom (now almost extinct) that on the night of the 12th day obsequies, people who gather around are given a chance by the priest to say a few good words each about the departed soul. And obituaries as a rule are kind to the dead and gone.
Olive Oil comes in different grades, colors, textures and tastes.
Most religions ask us to: "Praise the Lord!"
Hinduism has as many Ladies as Lords, if not more. They need even more praise. Even the Lords are pleased when their ladies are. There was this Bhakt Raam Das. If I am not mistaken, he wrote a song whose import is:
"Lord Raam is neglecting me...please, Sita, in one of his weak moments, please tell him to be kind to me and bless me with His glorious vision"
Olive oil can be applied subtly too. For instance, if you want to praise your boss in a new way, try and find out who his rival is and trash him. That is even better than praising your boss routinely.
Sometime this strategy may boomerang though. You may be mistaken that your boss and his rival are always on bad terms but it may not be so.
My guide SDM and my HoD, HNB, were supposed to be rivals, and at times fought openly in Faculty Meetings and even in corridors. One scholar of HNB thought that the best way to please him was to go to SDM's office and misbehave with him...smoking in his presence and exhaling the smoke on his face.
It boomeranged...SDM complained to HNB, and the scholar had to touch the feet of SDM in public...guides also had their Unions.
There is also the other way round with olive oil. If you think someone is becoming too arrogant and showing off too much, try to find a chap who rouses his jealousy most....and praise him. That is the worst thing you can do to a man or god...be careful though...you may be burnt at the stake...
There is an even subtler way of applying olive oil. My friend DB at IIT KGP was a devotee of the famous group theorist, I M Gel'fand...and SDM. It was common knowledge that anyone who wants anything, like a sky-high Reco, from DB, the best way was to go to him, borrow Gel'fand's book, talk about it gloriously, and praise SDM. That is all...a hundred times better than applying olive oil directly to DB...he could see through it.
Often you may wish to be praised by someone who doesn't praise anyone at all...except himself. This may not be a good thing to happen. In the rare case that this powerful and egotistic person does praise you publicly, in his weak moment, your life will be hell with your colleagues then on.
Peace be with you!
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"I had no idea you were so eloquent, Mr. Mulliner," she said, breaking the silence. "What a vivid description that was that you gave of me. Quite a prose poem."
Ignatius made a deprecating gesture.
"Oh, well" he said.
"Do you really think I am like that?"
"I do."
"Yellow?"
"Greeny yellow."
"And my eyes ... ?" She hesitated for a word.
"They are not unlike blue oysters," said Ignatius, prompting her, "which have been dead for some time."
"In fact you don't admire my looks?"
"Far from it."
...............
"Well?" she said.
"I beg your pardon?" said Ignatius.
She pouted.
"Well, aren't you going to --- er---?"
"What?"
"Well, fold me in your arms and all that sort of thing," said Hermione, blushing prettily.
Ignatius tottered.
"Who, me?"
"Yes, you."
"Fold you in my arms?"
"Yes."
"But --- er --- do you want me to?"
"Certainly."
"I mean ... after all I said ... "
She stared at him in amazement.
"Haven't you been listening to what I have been telling you?" she cried.
"I'm sorry," Ignatius stammered. "Great deal on my mind just now. Must have missed it. What did you say?"
"I said, if you really think I look like that, you do not love me, as I always supposed, for my beauty, but for my intellect. And if you knew how I always longed to be loved for my intellect!"
...PGW
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The first I heard of this concept was in my university at Vizagh. At school we did, sort of, respect our teachers but there was no flattery. As soon as I reached our university, I heard the word thair. It was a new word to me since it was neither a Telugu word nor an English one...the two languages I knew then. By and by I came to know that it was a Tamil word meaning curd. How curd came to be associated with flattery was not quite evident to me...nor was butter of course. Perhaps they were rudimentary lubricants...like olive oil.
On the very first day at my university I came to know that professors there were very powerful...there was then an internal part of evaluation. Although the question papers were set by external examiners, internal chaps did moderate them. Although our scripts were evaluated first by the external examiner, they were then re-evaluated by internals...
So we were asked to keep our professors pleased at all times and we did our best by standing up when we saw them and bowing and bending as often as we could...but not touching their feet...this custom was alien to us.
When I went to IIT KGP the mix of students there was truly all-India and I was most pleased that, as a teacher, I was neither buttered up explicitly nor was I expected to butter up my seniors and HoDs.
Liberation.
But not the research scholars...they were bound those days hand and foot to their research guides who were all-powerful. Most Andhra guides expected their scholars to do their bidding unconditionally. Some expected their students to help them in their shopping, carrying their bags, see them off at the Railway Station when they left KGP, sleep in their Qrs as night guards when they were away, and open and close doors for them. Of course this was an extreme instance...but the culture was there alright.
On the other hand, Bengali guides and their scholars were liberated from the physical aspects of buttering mentioned above. They were free. But, like Hermione above, the guides expected to be loved for their intellect alright...all the time. If any scholar, by mistake, praises his rival, the guide's fury had no upper bound.
IIT KGP was a small place then and all these laughable traits were just laughed at and forgot. It must be a huge mammoth now and whatever I wrote above makes no sense now perhaps.
And I don't know the condition of research scholars in the US.
Buttering starts from childhood and continues to the grave and beyond. Nowadays my only weapon with Ishani to make her listen to me and not steer the car or change gears or honk at will is to praise her sky-high:
"Look Ishani! You are the sweetest girl I have ever seen..."
Of course the marital condition is always smoothed by olive oil applied appropriately.
And when anyone passes away in our families, there was this custom (now almost extinct) that on the night of the 12th day obsequies, people who gather around are given a chance by the priest to say a few good words each about the departed soul. And obituaries as a rule are kind to the dead and gone.
Olive Oil comes in different grades, colors, textures and tastes.
Most religions ask us to: "Praise the Lord!"
Hinduism has as many Ladies as Lords, if not more. They need even more praise. Even the Lords are pleased when their ladies are. There was this Bhakt Raam Das. If I am not mistaken, he wrote a song whose import is:
"Lord Raam is neglecting me...please, Sita, in one of his weak moments, please tell him to be kind to me and bless me with His glorious vision"
Olive oil can be applied subtly too. For instance, if you want to praise your boss in a new way, try and find out who his rival is and trash him. That is even better than praising your boss routinely.
Sometime this strategy may boomerang though. You may be mistaken that your boss and his rival are always on bad terms but it may not be so.
My guide SDM and my HoD, HNB, were supposed to be rivals, and at times fought openly in Faculty Meetings and even in corridors. One scholar of HNB thought that the best way to please him was to go to SDM's office and misbehave with him...smoking in his presence and exhaling the smoke on his face.
It boomeranged...SDM complained to HNB, and the scholar had to touch the feet of SDM in public...guides also had their Unions.
There is also the other way round with olive oil. If you think someone is becoming too arrogant and showing off too much, try to find a chap who rouses his jealousy most....and praise him. That is the worst thing you can do to a man or god...be careful though...you may be burnt at the stake...
There is an even subtler way of applying olive oil. My friend DB at IIT KGP was a devotee of the famous group theorist, I M Gel'fand...and SDM. It was common knowledge that anyone who wants anything, like a sky-high Reco, from DB, the best way was to go to him, borrow Gel'fand's book, talk about it gloriously, and praise SDM. That is all...a hundred times better than applying olive oil directly to DB...he could see through it.
Often you may wish to be praised by someone who doesn't praise anyone at all...except himself. This may not be a good thing to happen. In the rare case that this powerful and egotistic person does praise you publicly, in his weak moment, your life will be hell with your colleagues then on.
Peace be with you!
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