Weighty Riddle

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The baronet wheezed plaintively.

'I've been studying this matter closely,' he said, 'and it's one of the seven wonders of the world. Have you ever seen a fat valet? Of course not. Nor has anybody else. There is no such thing as a fat valet. And yet there is scarcely a moment during the day when a valet is not eating. He rises at six-thirty, and at seven he is having coffee and buttered toast. At eight, he breakfasts off porridge, cream, eggs, bacon, jam, bread, butter, more eggs, more bacon, more jam, more tea, and more butter, finishing up with with a slice of cold ham and a sardine. At eleven o'clock he has his "elevenses" consisting of coffee, cream, more bread, and more butter. At one, luncheon - a hearty meal, replete with every form of starchy food and lots of beer. If he can gt at the port, he has port. At three, a snack. At four, another snack. At five, tea and buttered toast. At seven - dinner, probably with floury potatoes, and certainly with lots more beer. At nine, another snack. And at ten-thirty, taking with him a glass of milk and a plate of biscuits to keep himself from getting hungry in the night. And yet, he remains as slender as a string-bean, while I, who have been dieting for years, tip the beam at two hundred and seventeen pounds, and am growing a third and supplementary chin. These are mysteries, Straker.'

...PGW

...Posted by Ishani 

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