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...Posted by Ishani
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Rukmini (right) handing over the Prize of Rs 500 (and the Certificate) for topping in English to Nazeer at Muthukur High School (my alma mater) in November 2009 as the HM (left) looks on. This one-off Prize was in memory of the founding father of the school, GRK, my Father & English Teacher
My wife, Dr Rukmini, MBBS, MD, seven good years younger to me, passed away peacefully last night at 9 PM after a stay of six days in ICU in one of the best Cancer Centers in Hyderabad. The last rites were performed this morning by our son.
I have always said that if it is a cancer death it is to be celebrated, prayerfully if you are a believer, and kindly if you are not.
It all started three and half years ago with a uterine tumor that was removed and declared cancerous in Stage 1C. She was immediately given 50 daily sittings of radiation by the latest Rapid Arc Machine built by Varian Medical Systems where our ex-student Arundhuti is researching now at Stanford.
She was ok for two years when suddenly an irreversible relapse (metastasis) occurred and it spread like wildfire to liver, abdomen, kidneys, lungs and vertebrae.
After several lines of treatment with hormones, re-radiation and pain relievers like morphine, she succumbed after a brave fight.
The last two months were excruciating spasms of pain for her; and for me to watch helplessly from the left half of our bed.
Everyone prayed for a quick release from our common hell and our prayers were finally answered by and by.
Of all the support systems she got, the best was from Ishani. She would hold her hands and pat her and assure her that it will 'go away'.
It so happened that my clawing out of depression and her slipping into a bottomless valley were more or less simultaneous.
And she was watching how my daily blogging was helping me out. And, as you know, my blogs are a celebration of life, such as it is.
She never read my blogs nor booklets but would wake up at 2 or 3 AM when her pain eased a bit and ask: "Have you blogged yet tonight?" And when I said once in a while, "No," she would command me to start pronto.
She was a medico and she could see what blogging did to lift me out of my psychosis.
And of course she would never forgive me if I ever hinted at her illness in my blog.
And her last wish with me was that I should keep blogging and stay fit and not sink back...
Amen!
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I have always said that if it is a cancer death it is to be celebrated, prayerfully if you are a believer, and kindly if you are not.
It all started three and half years ago with a uterine tumor that was removed and declared cancerous in Stage 1C. She was immediately given 50 daily sittings of radiation by the latest Rapid Arc Machine built by Varian Medical Systems where our ex-student Arundhuti is researching now at Stanford.
She was ok for two years when suddenly an irreversible relapse (metastasis) occurred and it spread like wildfire to liver, abdomen, kidneys, lungs and vertebrae.
After several lines of treatment with hormones, re-radiation and pain relievers like morphine, she succumbed after a brave fight.
The last two months were excruciating spasms of pain for her; and for me to watch helplessly from the left half of our bed.
Everyone prayed for a quick release from our common hell and our prayers were finally answered by and by.
Of all the support systems she got, the best was from Ishani. She would hold her hands and pat her and assure her that it will 'go away'.
It so happened that my clawing out of depression and her slipping into a bottomless valley were more or less simultaneous.
And she was watching how my daily blogging was helping me out. And, as you know, my blogs are a celebration of life, such as it is.
She never read my blogs nor booklets but would wake up at 2 or 3 AM when her pain eased a bit and ask: "Have you blogged yet tonight?" And when I said once in a while, "No," she would command me to start pronto.
She was a medico and she could see what blogging did to lift me out of my psychosis.
And of course she would never forgive me if I ever hinted at her illness in my blog.
And her last wish with me was that I should keep blogging and stay fit and not sink back...
Amen!
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...Posted by Ishani
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5 comments:
We pray that the relieved soul rests in peace and all of you are able to carry on with the rest of your lives peacefully.
Of course, writing is such a good stress buster and we shall all be the interested audience in this journey of yours!
Sudha and Narasimhachar
Your warm-hearted message touched an exposed nerve I was trying to hide...rather unsuccessfully.
While time heals every bereavement, it is not so easy losing an Ardhangi...
At times these days I feel a terrific urge to talk to her about the encomiums she is receiving from people who have known her and also those who haven't seen her but known through my blogs vicariously.
Thank you indeed...
gps
Wow!..... Words fail me (though they usually don't).... While my company profits from cancer and its attempted cure, it is still a disease we deeply respect. You had mentioned Auntie's earlier diagnosis but I never knew it had regressed so much. Anyway, ..... I'm very sure she's in a good place as kind souls like her deserve to be. I'm pretty certain she would be most peaceful only if you are keeping your health and your chin up. Keep blogging.
Sonu bhaiya shared your post with me yesterday when I wrote about my mother's recent hysterectomy. I was expecting to read about the struggle and bitterness that usually comes with fighting a disease. What I found, instead, was the victory of life even in death. I am very inspired by your positive outlook on life and I hope I can emulate it in philosophy and in practice.
Regards,
Many thanks for your comment.
It is 2.4 years since Rukmini left us leaving us her friendly memories.
Only regret was that Sonoo was too young to lose his mom. But she ensured him a fond wife and a cute girl-kid before she left us.
Wish you and your family all the best!