Chitraguptas

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Chitraguptas

2003: IIT KGP:

Our Caste System...It fascinates me.

So does it the Americans.

RK Narayan wrote of the day when one of his ardent fans, an American lady, visited him in Mysore saying:

"I am researching on the Caste System in India. Do you have it in your house? Could you please show it to me?"

In my school years in Muthukur the village had a Munsif who was the richest Reddy landlord. 

And working for him was a Brahmin Karanam (keeper & manipulator of land-records).

This karanam was the equivalent of Chitragupta to Lord Yama.

And Chanakya to Chandragupta.

In Hyderabad we are never shy of flaunting our caste. There is this caste of Kammas, the richest Andhra  non-brahmins. And they have their "Kamma Sangham", a vast palace rented out as banquet hall for the rich, in the posh Ameerpet.

They also advertise their "Kamma Sangha Kartika Masa Vana Bhojanams".

In the North India they turned shy of revealing the caste in their surnames in Post-Mandal politics. So, in my class of 15 there were once as many as 3 "Anil Kumars". I was always curious to know their surnames.

A decade ago Prof R from IIT Madras met me in Hyderabad:

"Sir! I was your student at KGP 25 years ago in Krishna Kumar's MSc batch. And I was the only one who knew his surname"

"Not so...not so...Krishna Kumar was my Project Student and when he came to me for getting his thesis signed, I refused to do it until he revealed his surname :)

But there was this lady who didn't hide her surname:

"Sir! I am a Mathur. A kayasth. My ancestor was none other than Chitragupt. We are very clannish and we have a "Kayasth Sangh" in our campus whose most prominent leader is Prof B. We are also known for our cleverness and we are rather proud of it"

So, here are some of my memories of Prof B.

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There was this Prof M who had inherited a vast lab a decade ago and kept it locked, with the key hidden securely in his Qrs. He never worked in that lab but somehow refused to surrender it.

But Prof B, whose own lab was getting too small for his growing equipment, wanted Prof M's lab-space.

In the Faculty Meeting discussing this matter, Prof B went up to the dais finally and spoke:

"Labs are much like humans. They are born, grow up, and die. And then their corpses have to be disposed of before they begin to stink"

There was loud clapping and commotion and by and by Prof B got what he wanted; and some more.

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Prof X joined as a senior faculty. He was new and had a chip on his shoulder. He was allotted a sitting room in the same corridor as Prof B's lab.

Prof X used to get the key of that corridor's collapsible gates issued to him, open the gates in the evening, pocket the key, go home, and return late at night.

And here is their dialogue as narrated to me by Prof B:

"Prof X! Kindly do not keep the collapsible gates open late into the night. There are many costly items in my lab in this corridor and theft is rampant"

"Who are you to advise me? I am senior to you. I won't take orders from juniors"

"No professor! It is not an order but an humble request"

"No. I am not going to oblige you. What will you do? What will you do? Will you go and complain to the Director?"

"No professor! Certainly not! I will...I will...ignore you as a negligible quantity...a small delta"

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One Sunday afternoon when I was working in my office, there was this TERRIFIC hail storm. And it continued raining hail as big as lemon-sized stones. My car, which I had parked in the open, had its wind-shield broken right before my eyes. Most of the window-panes in the Institute Qrs were getting shattered as reports poured in.

I locked my office and walked down to the ground floor front-space to watch the ongoing Nor'wester, along with a handful of colleagues...all of our faces grim.

Only Prof B was grinning.

I asked him why and he smiled:

"Vohra must be celebrating"

"Vohra who?"

"Our Institute's glass-pane vendor"

:)

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