Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Half-Tricks

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One morning at IIT KGP three of us: N & V & myself were setting forth to travel in my car to Calcutta for a day's outing. We were to drop V there and return twosome.

As the car was about to start, Mrs N beckoned us to wait, went in and fetched a very cute and tiny idol of Ganeshjee, the god who dispels all obstacles, and asked us to carry Him along with us on the dashboard.

I could guess why she rushed in and out: "The number 3 is inauspicious"...and we were 3 (like Three Men in a Boat, to say nothing of the Dog) launching on a hazardous trip (Calcutta being the City of Joysticks).

And Ganeshjee would make up the Fourth.

But, I argued with her, while returning we are stuck with the Infamous Number 3!

She said "No!": Having an Elephant's head over a human torso, Ganeshjee is counted as an auspicious Half-Man (though a Full God).

How clever!

The very next day I bought a Crystal Ganeshjee idol and installed Him on my dashboard with Fevikwick.

It is more than a decade now (and half of it in the unruly Hyderabadi Traffic) but we never had even a scratch.

Of course, before entering our car, I open the boot and check that my son has not installed one of his Mermaids in it.

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If you are going forth out of your house here on a lucrative business deal and the first thing you face happens to be a single incoming Brahmin, then your business is doomed. You have to step back into your house leaving your foot-ware outside, wash your feet, and then go forth again (if you don't face another single in-coming Brahmin).

If I were the one you thought you were unlucky to hit and try and disentangle and run back into your home, I would embrace you tight and reassure you:

"I am Half-Brahmin: I don't wear the compulsory Sacred Thread".

And you would be as happy as if you faced Laxmi, the very Goddess of Wealth.

But of course, if you were to face 2 incoming Brahmins, then the Science of Hyderabadi Superstition says your business will multiply tenfold and hundredfold:

(Mat 13:8: But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold).

Then of course I won't be a spoilsport of your Joy by revealing the utter absence of my Sacred Thread.

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The first month-end in Hyderabad, our Newspaper Vendor came to collect his Bill, rang the bell and was waiting outside our threshold.

And I saw him through the peephole and came up with a crisp Hundred Rupee Note and proffered it to him. He politely declined, asking me by gesture to step out of the threshold before parting with my money. I could guess that here was a superstition unknown to me too.

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This threshold business reminds me of another famous 'Half-Man': Narasimha Swami very popular all over A.P.

The name literally means 'Man-Lion':

This horrible King of yore, Hiranyakashyup (HK), was teeming with unscrupulous Boons: he couldn't be killed by Man or Beast, during day or night, either in or out of his house, on the earth or sky etc etc...

But as my Math Teacher taught us (but not HK) long ago, the opposite of 'day' is not 'night' but 'non-day'; like 'non-man', 'non-earth', 'non-in' etc.

Not being a student of AU, HK goofed; and the 4th Avatar, Narasimha, ripped HK apart at dusk seated on the very threshold of his doorstep, holding him tight on His lap.

Maybe this is the terror that our Newspaper Vendor (NV) had in his soul!

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The most enchanting Half in our mythology is: Ardhnarishwar (Half-Lady-Half-Ishwar).

Gouri, the second wife of Ishwar, was jealous of His first wife, Ganga, and asked for the boon (and got it granted) that she will be the inseparable Left Half of her husband.

So, in pictures, Ishwar is shown as a vertically split Half Man (himelf) and Half Lady (Gouri).

Ganga was kicked upstairs (Percussive Sublimation of Peter's Principle) and was rehabilitated by Gouri safely on top of Ishwar's head.

Me being an impious soul (condemned to Eternal Damnation) this picture of Ganga I often see reminds me of Thurber's celebrated Cartoon: Lady on the Bookcase:

http://storyoftheweek.loa.org/2010/04/lady-on-bookcase.html

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When you next visit Hyderabad, make sure to go to the fabulous Salarjung Museum.

There you will find a marvelous statue: Mephistopheles & Margarita

You will see a bearded Mephistopheles from one side and sweetest Margarita from the other (with a mirror to aid viewing both).

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Coming to the serious business of Physics, it was discovered last century that the electrons that you and I sizzle with have a Spin that is niether zero nor one; but a crazy Half.

To tackle this they needed to wed two impossible Theories: Quantum Physics and Relativity, into one Ishwar called:

Relativistic Quantum Field Theory; Ganga on top being Quantum Gravity

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Some time ago we had a blogpost called: Marbles & Blocks:

http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2010/08/spheres-are-most-convenient-things-in.html

This talked about the delicious simile of Autocrat who compared Truth with the unyielding solid Block that doesn't roll on the floor; and Lie as the smooth Marble that can roll wherever you want it but often ends up under massive tables out of your reach.


Pratik then brought up the Cone: like the age-old Funnel my mother used to transfer kerosene from its Can to the Fuel Tank of her Hurricane Lantern (what a Mess!).

The beauty of the Cone is that it can roll on smooth floor but not out and away: It is rooted on its fulcrum, but can go round and round dancing at your will and come to rest whenever challenged.

The Cone is our famous Half-Truth.

In chaste English it is called: Gul

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