Saturday, July 28, 2012

Raakhi Relatives

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For many years I was addicted to Deccan Chronicle reading it cover to cover and using its tidbits as grist to my blogmill. But, for the past one year, I never even opened it...just glance at the headlines and toss it aside. The reason is that India has become dull and boring...no longer newsworthy...more and more ministers and judges trooping to jail like so many winged ants to the nearest street lamp.

But this morning there was this piquant front page item:

"I am not his illegitimate child, he is my illegitimate father"

It refers to the Delhi High Court verdict that a senior politician (87), a colorful ex-Governor of AP to boot, who tried hard (unsuccessfully) to evade a DNA test, was indeed the biological father of the claimant in what is alleged to be India's first paternity suit...no pun intended on 'suit'.

What struck me most was that, while an illegitimate son has a simple and provocative name, an illegitimate father doesn't seem to have a popular buzz-word for him.


I wish to propose an adjective that covers all such reluctant relations...if my suggestion is accepted, the 87-year-young senior politician referred to above could be called:


"Raakhi Father"

Raakhi festival is round the corner and I am reminded of the significance of Rakshabandhan. While it is trite for a sister to tie a raakhi round her biological brother's wrist giving him love in return for protection, it is the non-DNA siblings that provide legendary legitimacy between 'illegitimate' brothers and sisters.


Everyone knows that Rukhsana, the wedded wife of Alexander the Great, was scared that her hubby would be killed by his enemy king Porus, and so the night before the great battle she slipped into the tent of Porus and tied a raakhi round his wrist and asked her illegitimate brother not to kill her legitimate husband...thus Porus became the Raakhi Brother of Rukhsana.

Much before that, Draupadi tied her hankie round the bleeding wrist of Krishna and became his Raakhi sister. And Rukmini and Satyabhama were bitterly jealous of Draupadi till Krishna asked them to go and comb the tresses of his Raakhi sister, and they found every strand of her hair singing: "Krishna, Krishna, Krishna..." like so many buzzing mosquitoes on the lawn of our Faculty Hostel at KGP.

Indeed it was at KGP that I first heard the terms: Raakhi Brother and Raakhi Sister. 

Everyone knows that biological brothers and sisters studying at the same Institute avoid each other like plague...they don't want to be seen together. Not so the Raakhi Brothers and Sisters. The vow of mutual love and protection binds them together. By the time they reach Final Year they would be seen strolling side by side along Road # 5 with the ogling night-owls on the famed trees as their only companions...a thing DNA siblings never do.

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I would like the adjective Raakhi to cover the entire spectrum of such reluctant relations.

For instance, Kunti can be termed the Raakhi Mother of Karna. 

...and Drona the Raakhi Guru of Ekalavya.

...and RKN's Raju the Raakhi Saint.

...and that gallant ex-president of the US his Intern's Raakhi Lover.

...and the celebrity alumnus of  IIT KGP who became a multimillionaire but turned out to be slippery as an eel a Raakhi Donor.

...and Prof GSS (may his soul rest in peace!) who was so blushing shy whenever I mentioned the G S Sanyal School of Telecommunications a Raakhi Acceptor.

...and our President of the INC our Raakhi PM.

...and our PM our Raakhi Economist.

...and...you know who...our nation's most eligible Raakhi Bridegroom.  

...and like him, Julius Caesar, who according to Mark Antony, refused crown not once, not twice, but thrice, the Raakhi King.

...and, finally, this old chap in Hyderabad who wakes up every morning swearing he would stop blogging forthwith, only to dump his vow by late evening, our Raakhi Blogger. 


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