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"...'But the point is that he was at some place somewhere and one night he attended a reception or a soiree or whatever they call these binges at one of the embassies. You know the sort of thing I mean. Fair women and brave men, all doled up and dancing their ruddy heads off. And in due season it came to pass that Tubby found himself doing the Charleston with the wife of the Greek consul as his partner...He is what in the old days would have been described as a three-collar man. By the time Tubby Frobisher has finished dancing the Charleston, his partner knows she has been in a fight, all right. And it was so on this occasion. He hooked on to the wife of the Greek consul and he jumped her up and he jumped her down, he whirled her about and he spun her round, he swung her here and he swung her there, and all of a sudden what do you think happened?'
'The lady had a heart failure, sir?'
'No, the lady didn't have a heart failure, but what occurred was enough to give it to all present at that gay affair. For, believe me or not, there was a tinkling sound, and from inside her dress there began to descend to the floor silver forks, silver spoons and, Tubby assures me, a complete toilet set in tortoiseshell. It turned out that the female was a confirmed kleptomaniac and had been using the space between her dress and and whatever she was wearing under her dress --- I am not a married man myself, so I can't go into particulars --- as a safe deposit.'
'Embarrassing for Major Frobisher, sir.'
Captain Biggar stared....."
..........PGW in 'Ring for Jeeves'
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Well, I was a married man myself when it happened, but didn't know that it takes half a dozen safety pins to secure a sari safely...
When I was a bachelor I never had a wallet...there was no need for it. During my long journeys by Howrah-Madras Mail, I just used to fold a Rs 100 note in my shirt sleeve and roll it up and push the loose cash into my shirt pocket.
But after I got married and had a son, I realized that I had to cater for emergencies on rails. So I saved up a spare Rs 10,000 by and by in a stapled new bundle of Rs 100 notes and asked my wife to carry it. She brought out a new skirt, stitched a pocket on it, pushed the bundle in, and wore it for travel...the skirt with its unused bundle was folded and stored in a safe place till our next railway travel...
In 1999 we had to travel to Bombay and we decided to use our first Air-India Family LTC and went into the Sec-Check at the Dumdum Airport. It was a breeze for me and my son but my fair lady was not exiting her booth for a good ten minutes and I was getting worried. At length she walked out with a sheepish smile on her face and told me that she was strip-searched since the lady attendants (wo)manning the booth didn't relent till she undressed to her skirt and opened its pocket. And she said it took a minute for her to undress but they apologetically helped her and took all that while to pin her sari back in shape in that narrow booth.
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My HM Father once told me this story:
Once one evening before the start of the School Final Exams, a middle-aged lady entered his Office and started to narrate her sad story. Apparently she was widowed a few years back and the Govt kindly gave her a Mercy Appointment in the office where her husband had been working. And she was kept on probation till she cleared her SSLC Exam privately. And she failed in successive attempts and her Boss gave her a last chance. And hearing that, like herself, my Father was a man with many kids, she opted for his school as her Center.
My Father knew what was coming and asked her to stop talking, rang his calling-bell, and when his Peon entered, asked him to fetch Miss Laxmi, the only Lady Invigilator in his school. And when Laxmi arrived, showed her his lady guest and said:
"Please see what you can do for her"
And those days there was this unwritten norm that a request from your Boss is an order.
Three months later he got a packet of sweets which he duly forwarded to Miss Laxmi.
********************************************************************************************************
It was my misfortune to do duty as an unwilling Invigilator at least 300 times during my 4 decades at IIT KGP. I was not eagle-eyed...on the other hand my eyes were always open like the unseeing eyes of a dead goat.
But I can guarantee that, to the best of my knowledge and belief, the Lady Students there were exceptionally free from Safe Deposit Pockets.
Amen!
======================================================================
"...'But the point is that he was at some place somewhere and one night he attended a reception or a soiree or whatever they call these binges at one of the embassies. You know the sort of thing I mean. Fair women and brave men, all doled up and dancing their ruddy heads off. And in due season it came to pass that Tubby found himself doing the Charleston with the wife of the Greek consul as his partner...He is what in the old days would have been described as a three-collar man. By the time Tubby Frobisher has finished dancing the Charleston, his partner knows she has been in a fight, all right. And it was so on this occasion. He hooked on to the wife of the Greek consul and he jumped her up and he jumped her down, he whirled her about and he spun her round, he swung her here and he swung her there, and all of a sudden what do you think happened?'
'The lady had a heart failure, sir?'
'No, the lady didn't have a heart failure, but what occurred was enough to give it to all present at that gay affair. For, believe me or not, there was a tinkling sound, and from inside her dress there began to descend to the floor silver forks, silver spoons and, Tubby assures me, a complete toilet set in tortoiseshell. It turned out that the female was a confirmed kleptomaniac and had been using the space between her dress and and whatever she was wearing under her dress --- I am not a married man myself, so I can't go into particulars --- as a safe deposit.'
'Embarrassing for Major Frobisher, sir.'
Captain Biggar stared....."
..........PGW in 'Ring for Jeeves'
**********************************************************************************************************
Well, I was a married man myself when it happened, but didn't know that it takes half a dozen safety pins to secure a sari safely...
When I was a bachelor I never had a wallet...there was no need for it. During my long journeys by Howrah-Madras Mail, I just used to fold a Rs 100 note in my shirt sleeve and roll it up and push the loose cash into my shirt pocket.
But after I got married and had a son, I realized that I had to cater for emergencies on rails. So I saved up a spare Rs 10,000 by and by in a stapled new bundle of Rs 100 notes and asked my wife to carry it. She brought out a new skirt, stitched a pocket on it, pushed the bundle in, and wore it for travel...the skirt with its unused bundle was folded and stored in a safe place till our next railway travel...
In 1999 we had to travel to Bombay and we decided to use our first Air-India Family LTC and went into the Sec-Check at the Dumdum Airport. It was a breeze for me and my son but my fair lady was not exiting her booth for a good ten minutes and I was getting worried. At length she walked out with a sheepish smile on her face and told me that she was strip-searched since the lady attendants (wo)manning the booth didn't relent till she undressed to her skirt and opened its pocket. And she said it took a minute for her to undress but they apologetically helped her and took all that while to pin her sari back in shape in that narrow booth.
*******************************************************************************************************
My HM Father once told me this story:
Once one evening before the start of the School Final Exams, a middle-aged lady entered his Office and started to narrate her sad story. Apparently she was widowed a few years back and the Govt kindly gave her a Mercy Appointment in the office where her husband had been working. And she was kept on probation till she cleared her SSLC Exam privately. And she failed in successive attempts and her Boss gave her a last chance. And hearing that, like herself, my Father was a man with many kids, she opted for his school as her Center.
My Father knew what was coming and asked her to stop talking, rang his calling-bell, and when his Peon entered, asked him to fetch Miss Laxmi, the only Lady Invigilator in his school. And when Laxmi arrived, showed her his lady guest and said:
"Please see what you can do for her"
And those days there was this unwritten norm that a request from your Boss is an order.
Three months later he got a packet of sweets which he duly forwarded to Miss Laxmi.
********************************************************************************************************
It was my misfortune to do duty as an unwilling Invigilator at least 300 times during my 4 decades at IIT KGP. I was not eagle-eyed...on the other hand my eyes were always open like the unseeing eyes of a dead goat.
But I can guarantee that, to the best of my knowledge and belief, the Lady Students there were exceptionally free from Safe Deposit Pockets.
Amen!
======================================================================
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