**************************************************************************************************************************************
I guess I was a Britisher in my previous birth.
Yes, I am a firm believer in the theory of rebirth. When I was a youngster at IIT KGP and when my colleagues questioned me on my belief, I used to point out our senior professor, Prof G, and say that he proves my theory. When asked how, I used to ask:
"How could he have accumulated so much cussedness in just one birth?"
As I was saying, I must have been a Britisher. For, I read that no Britisher ever talks to a chap to whom he was not introduced by someone else.
There were these two prisoners in a New York jail compelled to share a cell. They never talked to each other for all of a year. At the end of which the senior lost his cool and declared:
"I have decided to buy New York"
To which the other replied:
"I have decided not to sell it"
They were my ideal roommates. Myself and DB were forced to share an office in 1975. We didn't speak to each other for all of six months. At the end of which he broke down and said:
"Feynman is a fool"
To which I replied:
"I thought I alone knew it!"
And we at once traveled to the canteen for tea. And this friendship of souls went on for 20 years.
DB is no more.
And I reverted to my cussedness.
Nowadays I feel very claustrophobic in my apartment. And I go down to sit on one of the lawn benches and gather wool. And to be left alone.
Alas! It never happens that way, for we are a gated community of 600 flats with about 60 senior citizens, fixed and floating.
And during their walks they look at me and are curious, for, I don't walk nor talk.
Pretty soon, a stranger sits down beside me while I look the other way.
And the quiz starts.
Irrespective of whether the intruder is a Punjoo or Bangoo or Telugoo, there is no escape from them.
They come in two species:
The first variety starts by laying his cards on the table:
"I retired as a Superintending Engineer in the Government of Haryana. I passed out as a BTech from BITS Pilani. I served for all of 33 years and draw a pension of Rs 60,000. So I am not a dependent on my son who works here in Google, the best employer in the whole world. My D-i-L works for Deloitte; you know Deloitte, no? My sweetheart is a home maker though she did her MSc from Allahabad University. Where did you work? Is your job pensionable? What is your pension? Where does your son work? What is his 'compensation'? Do you own your flat or rent?......"
The second variety is more secretive and guarded. He starts:
"Are you a Telugu or Hindi? Where did you work? Do you have pension? How much? Where does your son work? What is his pay?..."
And after getting all the answers, he would decide on how much respect (if any) he should pay me in future.
I am too well-mannered to ask these chaps to go to hell. So I answer all their questions as truthfully as I can and then fall silent; absolutely silent. I don't reciprocate their curiosity.
And they squirm.
And I have this illusion of winning a battle by Gandhigiri.
But alas! It never deters them at all.
Only one chap told me at the end of his quiz:
"Sir, you are more respectable than I...."
...Posted by Ishani
***********************************************************************************************************************************
I guess I was a Britisher in my previous birth.
Yes, I am a firm believer in the theory of rebirth. When I was a youngster at IIT KGP and when my colleagues questioned me on my belief, I used to point out our senior professor, Prof G, and say that he proves my theory. When asked how, I used to ask:
"How could he have accumulated so much cussedness in just one birth?"
As I was saying, I must have been a Britisher. For, I read that no Britisher ever talks to a chap to whom he was not introduced by someone else.
There were these two prisoners in a New York jail compelled to share a cell. They never talked to each other for all of a year. At the end of which the senior lost his cool and declared:
"I have decided to buy New York"
To which the other replied:
"I have decided not to sell it"
They were my ideal roommates. Myself and DB were forced to share an office in 1975. We didn't speak to each other for all of six months. At the end of which he broke down and said:
"Feynman is a fool"
To which I replied:
"I thought I alone knew it!"
And we at once traveled to the canteen for tea. And this friendship of souls went on for 20 years.
DB is no more.
And I reverted to my cussedness.
Nowadays I feel very claustrophobic in my apartment. And I go down to sit on one of the lawn benches and gather wool. And to be left alone.
Alas! It never happens that way, for we are a gated community of 600 flats with about 60 senior citizens, fixed and floating.
And during their walks they look at me and are curious, for, I don't walk nor talk.
Pretty soon, a stranger sits down beside me while I look the other way.
And the quiz starts.
Irrespective of whether the intruder is a Punjoo or Bangoo or Telugoo, there is no escape from them.
They come in two species:
The first variety starts by laying his cards on the table:
"I retired as a Superintending Engineer in the Government of Haryana. I passed out as a BTech from BITS Pilani. I served for all of 33 years and draw a pension of Rs 60,000. So I am not a dependent on my son who works here in Google, the best employer in the whole world. My D-i-L works for Deloitte; you know Deloitte, no? My sweetheart is a home maker though she did her MSc from Allahabad University. Where did you work? Is your job pensionable? What is your pension? Where does your son work? What is his 'compensation'? Do you own your flat or rent?......"
The second variety is more secretive and guarded. He starts:
"Are you a Telugu or Hindi? Where did you work? Do you have pension? How much? Where does your son work? What is his pay?..."
And after getting all the answers, he would decide on how much respect (if any) he should pay me in future.
I am too well-mannered to ask these chaps to go to hell. So I answer all their questions as truthfully as I can and then fall silent; absolutely silent. I don't reciprocate their curiosity.
And they squirm.
And I have this illusion of winning a battle by Gandhigiri.
But alas! It never deters them at all.
Only one chap told me at the end of his quiz:
"Sir, you are more respectable than I...."
***********************************************************************************************************************************
No comments:
Post a Comment