Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Killer

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When the cells forget
How to die
The Killer's target
Learns to die!

Gandhi couldn't care!

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"I have drops of Gandhi's blood and his ashes up for deal, sale or auction": James Otis


Otis:
"Here is thy blood and here thine ashes,
This is our wine, and these molasses";

Gandhi:
"But I am a Hindoo,
None of this Voodoo;
I am the Spirit transcending Judasses!
30 pieces of silver
Is the price for jackasses."

Monday, March 30, 2009

Word-eaters (verbivores!)

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"Pak not to allow its soil to be used for terrorism": Zardari on 28 March

"Suicide bomber kills 100 in a mosque in Pakistan": New Report on 29 March

"Lahore Police Academy attacked and 800 Policeman taken hostage in Lahore...30 killed": TV Report and Visuals on 30 March


Those who eat before they earn
Are found to ever cut and run;
Those who speak before their turn
Are bound to eat their words anon!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Tail & the Dog

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"Pak not to allow its soil to be used for terrorism": Zardari


Pardon my gag,
I'm born a wag;
Can any tail
Wag its Dog?

Limerick-sick

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My wife is sick of limericks
& such despicable gimmicks
She likes odes & elegies
Songs & sonnets & eulogies
Paeans, praises or panegyrics!

SIGH!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Narayana, Narayana!

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"..Sixty is the age when all of us should renunciate worldly life": Quote attributed to N. R. Narayana Murthy in DC 27 March: Banner headline with Photo on Page 8


DC's a law unto itself
Quoting Narayan's good self
It enunciates, denunciates
Pronunciates and Renunciates
As it pleases itself!

Webster should learn anew
How little English he knew!

Ugadi Greetings

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Here is Telugu New Year
Bitter, sweet and sour;
Like Life's kind and good
Neem, Aam and Guud
We wish you well forever!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Insect Politics

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"The exodus of Maoists from the Nallamala forests to Chattisgarh jungles is more due to Chikungunya fever than Police actions": News Report

"God in his wisdom made the fly,
And then forgot to tell us why"........Ogden Nash


God in his wisdom made the mosquito,
And now we know why He did so;

To cleanse the Congress's A.P.
And incense Chattisgarh's B.J.P.!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Topology for the Layman & Laidwoman

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Our body is like a doughna
Pierced from mouth to anaa
Good we live in 3-dimensionaa
If it were less by oneaa
We would split wide openaa!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Earthy Myths

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That I was half a sperm
And half an ovum
Entering the womb
To get into a tomb;
But SEX has a Heavenly CHARM!

Conquer your Genes!

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All can't be Keats
Byron, Shelley or Yeats
Love poetry
Genetic deformity;
But any fool can be a Limericist!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Ides of March

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"The Ides of March has come"; "Aye Caesar, but not gone".

The Ides of March is here....Taxman beckoneth...dash him!

Who was it that said that there are only two certainties in this world...'Death and Taxes'?....."as true as Death or Taxes".

Unfortunately, Limericks are not tax-deductible.. A 100 limericks and light verses in less than a month must be close to a record...This is the 100th blog in 2009.

Time to gasp and rest.

It was a celebration of the colorful times we live in as seen from the balmy winter of Hyderabad through Deccan Chronicle and Times Now.

The spell is broken by an upset in the routine.

There was much sarcasm and cynicism in these limericks... Well, it wasn't deliberate, but reflects my personality, for which it would be dishonesty to apologize.

The last blog titled: 'Nutshell Upanishads" should serve as an apologia if one is required.

Beware! The Ides of March has not gone! And the March Hare never dies!

Thank you readers, if any!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Nutshell Upanishads

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Everyone themselves love
Nothing wrong,
Our Nature is Love

Everyone loves truth
Nothing wrong,
Our Nature is Truth

Everyone loves to live
Nothing wrong,
Our Nature is Life!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Mush - Khush Again!

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Didn't I tell you? See the blog: 'Missing Musharraf" on February 20

"Musharraf said he was open to the idea of leading the country again"..Report


I'm always OPEN
My fly's ever down

I was a wimp
When it was limp

When Nation needs again
I shall rise anon

I'll roar as Niagara
Pockets full'f Viagra!



Meet my friend, Ukridge

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Notional Friendship Week:

A friend in need
Is a friend indeed!
It just happens
That all my friends
Are always in Need!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Osama's Peace Proposal

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The capital of Israel
Ought to be Seattle.

E.T.

NASA's Kepler mission successfully launched into space from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Fla., aboard a United Launch Alliance Delta II at 10:49 p.m


Johannes Kepler, Copernicus' supporter,
Galileo's Father, Newton's Mentor,
Einstein's Feuhrer,
Kicks this sorry Sphere,
In search of LIFE FOREVER!

Sup with Satan!

"Hillary mulling a DEAL with the Taliban": News item


"You gobble Afghanstan, Pakistan,
Hindusthan, Ceylon & Iran;
But leave Europe & US
In Everlasting peace";
Smirks the Ghost of Chamberlain!

Lace Curtain

"Obama says NO to foreign nurses": Report


Gone is the Iron Curtain
Goner is the Bamboo Curtain
Busy are the Obamas
Behind their hungamas
Knitting a see-through Lace Curtain!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Bin Laden's Prophesy

"The US Administration to largely continue Bush foreign policy objectives": News Report


"The US Presidency
Is a Papacy

Despite bankruptcy
No change in policy

'Audacity of Hope'
Will end up in a Pope

Roman Empire, Holy See!
Shrank to Vatican City!"

Allah be Great!
This is the Bin Laden Prophesy

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'Audacity of Hope' is the Obama book that launched him to the Presidency




A little dishonesty is BRITISH!

"Most Britons falsely claim to have read Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' ": Report


I too tried 'Peace and War',
Found it an unreadable bore;
But I read all of Shakespeare
Songs & Sonnets & King Liar.

But, most I love my Bertie,
Shaken to his foundations;
He said with honesty,
"Hamlet's full of Quotations"

Gandhi's Latest Will

"Special Police Officer K. S. Raju succumbs to burns received trying to save Gandhi Bhavan set on fire by MPRS activists": News Report


"All people are born to die
Police & Army are paid to die
Jihadis prefer to die
Several times I tried to die
Yet, I wish: ..hic..
Rajus get a speck
Of that $1.8 million pie!"

Thursday, March 5, 2009

St. Charles!

Vatican endorses 'Evolution Theory': Banner Headline in Deccan Chronicle, 5 March 2009


We are so pleased and gratified
That Darwin's Theory is sanctified,
Both Pope and us
Came from Apes;
And Sir Charles is to be beatified!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Gandhi's Auction

"Government has not done enough to prevent the auction of Gandhi memorabilia": Tushar Gandhi, great-grandson of M. K. Gandhi


Gandhijee, O Father of our nation!
We all vow to stall thy auction,
We swear by Thee
Who made us FREE
To loot this nation

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Blogger's Illusion

His next blog,
The whole world
Awaiteth
With bated breath

Monday, March 2, 2009

STIGMA....a true story

The kid was bleeding,
She was dying;

Word spread:
She needed blood;

In that Hall, a thousand strong,
A full dozen came along;

Eleven cleared,
One was feared;

They said the tests
Showed he had AIDS;

Wing-mates, Hall-mates,
Students and Teachers,

All felt sorry,
But would tarry;

It took a week
To get a re-check,

They declared:
'That test was tweaked'.

And YET,

The stigma wouldn't go;
He had to GO!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Pensioner's High Noon

Appetite good & food plenty,
Sight is sound & fingers play,
Drink Tea & Eat Samose,
Log in & Blog away,
Everyday your Sunday!