Thursday, July 16, 2009

'Coonalamma Croons'

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Dear RadhaChinnayana Garu:

I am truly touched and overwhelmed by your response to my idle rhymes.

Before I could read other pages, my eyes fell upon your ‘Coonalamma Croons’. They simply fascinated me. The meter is new to me and I haven’t met with anything like this in English. It is very tight and suits my satirical instincts. I will explore it further.

Below is my impromptu rendering of some of your beautiful ditties. Please don’t treat them as ‘translations’. They are more like ‘idea-stealings’. Telugu (The Italian of the East’) is full of ‘Ajanthamulu’ unlike English which bristles with ‘Hulanthamulu’.

So, ‘O Coonalamma!’ goes over into something like:
’O Radha Radhey Shyam!’.

The ‘Raadhaa Rhymes’ booklet is almost ready and you will receive a few copies soon.

More later;

Best Regards

gps

Hyderabad
16 july 2009

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O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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Let me give today’s
Big & Breaking News,
Strumming Readers’ hearts;
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Stringing facts along
With a wee satire strong
As I see them belong
O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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School Bags & Lessons
*****************************************
Hardly three years old
Their bags 10 KGs hold
To LKGs they are sold
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

‘Sumathi Satakam’ banished
‘Vemana Satakam’ vanished
‘Pussies and Puppies’ brandished
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

‘Amma’ becomes ‘Mummy’
‘Nanna’ ‘Daddy’s’ dummy
‘Uncles & Aunties’ rummy
O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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Gouries and Dowries
******************************************
No groom without a dowry
Willing a virgin to marry
Brides’ lives are ever sorry
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Unread even in alphabets
Groomed only in cosmetics
Crores they demand: fanatics
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Along with their dowries
They demand other ‘sundries’
Or else you get nooses
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

In kerosene you get a soaking
Match stick for a little lighting
Saris are there for hanging
O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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Assemblies or ‘Dissemblies’?
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Better than our Assemblies
Are our Dhobi’s Washeries;
Debates become Debaucheries;
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

‘I’ll slash your hand
And wash away your stand’
That’s today’s brand,
I can’t anymore withstand;
O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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Movies & Heroes
*************************************
Clad in suit & boot
Mouthing vulgar s**t
‘Duets’ in an ugly ‘shoot’
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Songs by play-back fakes
Dialogues by other ‘takes’
Fights by Duplicates
Our Top Star fabricates
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Rung by rowdies a dozen
Swung all of a sudden
Our Hero flings them anon
O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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Offices & ‘Offers’
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Even a parent’s ‘papers’
Won’t move without ‘offers’
Or else they come ‘croppers’
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

‘Offers’ make ‘papers’
Waft like ‘wafers’
Or else ‘flying saucers’
O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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Advent of TV
***************************************************
Small screen’s recent advent
Hastened viewers’ cataract
Illiteracy is its impact
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Tamil-dubbed episodes
Run for unending decades
Tear-jerking parades
O Radha Radhey Shyam!
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Leaders & Bleeders
*****************************************************
Eat while in Power
All that you can cover
Bloat like a lubber
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Share Market scams
Sugar-Telecom deals
Gas Agency wheels
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Bogus visas
Bofors’ Hawalas
Stuffed suit cases
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

Fodder-Fertilizer scams
Stamp paper reams
Land-grabbing schemes
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

All of us are frauds
There are no more Lords
Virtuous are now fools
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

He that is enthroned
Crams ere dethroned
The God that sentenced
Surely has swooned
O Radha Radhey Shyam!

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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Preface

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Fun with Short Rhyming Words

I am now 67. We never read Nursery Rhymes in our village school. Our teachers valiantly taught us to master the crazy spelling and the strange grammar of English.

When at 17, I heard the city kids from convent schools recite Nursery Rhymes, I felt that neither they nor I could truly relate to them. The Jacks and Jills with water-pails and broken-crowns, and the Mary’s lamb with snow-white fleece were all foreigners.

I felt that my grandkids need some English rhymes with an Indian flavor. Kids guess the meaning of new words if they grasp the context. And use them with élan.

For us born and brought up in India, English can’t fight the pull of our mother tongues. But, there is no escape from learning English. The collection of Nursery Rhymes here aims to assist our kids in this effort. To each Rhyme is annexed a listing of its new words. The depth of ideas and the novelty of words and idioms increase as we go.

For bookish old folks like me, longer words crop up like weeds crowding the right shorter word. But the hunt is pure joy.

I will be happy if some kids get into the ‘Dictionary Habit’. It is a valley full of flowers just for the picking.

G. P. Sastry Hyderabad, July 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Raadhaa Rhymes 9

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81.
Said the old Squirrel to the Nut:
‘All my teeth have gone phut,
They can only suck,
But no longer crack’;
Said the Nut to the Squirrel:
‘You hold me very well;
Try to throw me up and catch,
We can play a set and match!’

82.
Said the Army Raincoat
To the ladies’ Umbrella:
‘You look so cute and great
And so very tra-la,
What makes you so proud,
And feel so very good?’
‘Two sets of fine ribs,
Clad in satin blouses,
Two sleek spines
And two sets of springs’;
‘But one little gale
Will blow up your top;
Make look so pale
And go flip-flop,
Flip-flop, flip-flop!’









Sunday, July 5, 2009

Raadhaa Rhymes 8

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71.
There waits the cockroach
Bristling his moustache;
Switch on the light;
And in his fright,
Your feet he will approach!

72. Cuckoo
There goes the cuckoo:
Ku-ooh! Ku-ooh! Ku-ooh!
Poets have praised her
Over a thousand an year;
Still she knows only to:
Ku-ooh! Ku-ooh! Ku-ooh!

73.
But look at her clever cousin
The crow very Indian:
He stole aloo chips,
Now steals silicon chips;
Whatever you throw in your rubbish bin!

74.
A very old peacock
Couldn’t see in the dark;
It went to an optician
To get a prescription;
Who charged a million rupees
For its thousand ‘eyes’!

75.
A very old Elephant
Went to a Dentist
To get a set of false teeth;
He told the Elephant:
‘You already have a set;
Very nicely bent
And made of Ivory’!

76.
A very old Mysore Tiger
With a coat badly faded
Went to a U.S. Tailor
To get a new one made;
He told the old Tiger:
‘Yellow Stripes are out of fashion,
My Nation is in Recession,
Take one of Stars and Stripes,
I will give you at a cheaper price,
At Rupees sixty a Dollar;
Dear old Mysore Tiger!
Whiter Stripes and brighter Stars,
My dear Mysore Tiger!
Mysore Tiger, Mysore Tiger! Mysore Tiger’!

77.
A very old Woodpecker
Said to the old Kingfisher:
‘My beak is getting blunter
The bark is getting tougher,
And I am suffering from hunger’;
Said the old Kingfisher
To the old Woodpecker:
‘I am no longer the king here,
The fish are getting cleverer,
I too suffer from hunger’;
The latter stopped hunting fish,
The former poking for woodlice;
They both went to the restaurateur,
Ordered some bread and butter
And lived happily ever after!

78.
A very old Government Bull
No longer felt useful;
With cows and calves so youthful
He felt very miserable;
He went to the Government Hospital
And found a placard; ‘Houseful’;
The Matron there was kind to him
And referred him to an Old Age Home;
There he felt merry and gay
With old cows and heaps of hay!

79.
A very old Spider
Said to the older Fly:
‘You can come nearer, dear,
My fiber’s gotten dry’;
Said the older Fly
To the Spider:
‘I can’t come nearer dear,
I can no more FLY!’

80.
Said the Bed Bug
To the Rug:
‘I’ll send you to the cleaners
To get you suave and snug’;
Said the Rug
To the Bed Bug:
‘And then if you cease to hug
I shall stay clean and green!’

































Friday, July 3, 2009

Raadhaa Rhymes 7

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61.
Raadhaa tries to cook
With the help of an English book;
But ‘coriander’
Leaves her in wonder
And fling in something by hook or by crook!

62.
Raadhaa loves flowers,
On trees or in bowers,
On dresses
Or in tresses
In bouquets or in bunches!

63.
Raadhaa never saw a mouse,
Save the one in the Cartoon Shows,
Or on her dad’s
Mouse pads;
So did the pussy-cat in her house!

64.
But Raadhaa sees honey bees
Around the hive on her mango trees,
Buzzing around
In a humming sound;
And wonders where their honey goes!

65.
But wasps don’t rasp,
Don’t try to grasp!
Leave them alone
Till they build in your home;
Smoke them gently, they’ll let go their clasp!

66.
Raadhaa watches a beetle,
Black as a kettle,
Sitting quiet
Like a monk;
And setting off like a shuttle!

67.
Elephant is called Jumbo;
He loves shoots of bamboo;
He’s really BIG
Unlike the little pig;
But both their tails are so-so!

68.
If you see a snake
Don’t shake or shriek!
Snakes are cool,
Don’t be a fool;
Give a leeway, she will slither away!

69.
Kangaroo
Is a Bangaroo;
She hops so much such
With her kids in her pouch;
They’ve no Khangaroo!

70.
Donkey is special!
Unlike horse or a mule
He loves his leisure;
Eats at his pleasure;
Carries loads and goods
Without any murmur;
When he brays or prays
The whole town would shudder!
Donkey is SPECIAL!



















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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Raadhaa Rhymes 6

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51.
Raadhaa watches a butterfly,
With wings so supple and spry,
Hopping from flower to flower,
Nimbly sipping their nectar,
With little hint of hurry or worry!

52.
Raadhaa watches the Dog Star,
Looking so near, yet so far,
Now red, yellow,
And now very green,
Changing her makeup
Like a wee beauty queen,
Casting her costumes
Like a Hindi film star!

53.
Raadhaa watches a rainbow,
Red, green, blue and yellow,
Sometimes with its poorer cousin,
In all colors upside down,
Looming meekly up above!

54.
Radhaa watches rain at night
Snugly from her window seat,
Washing streets and trees clean,
Lashing roof and window pane,
Crashing thunder and lightning white!

55.
Raadhaa watches cricket
With or without a ticket,
Four or six or a wicket,
Bouquet or a briquette,
She jumps and claps like a coquette!

56.
Raadhaa loves music,
Filmy ya Classic,
Pop
Ya Rap,
Silly ya Love-sick!

57.
Raadhaa watches dance,
As if in a trance,
Kuchipudi,
Katahakali,
Or just filmy prance!

58.
Raadhaa’s writing is a scrawl,
Either on the slate or a wall,
Slanting to the left
Or banking to the right,
If she cares to write at all!

59.
But she reads like an angel
With the gusto of an oracle;
Prose
Or Verse
With no prodding at all!

60.
Raadhaa can sing
Like a lark on its wing;
Neither shy
Nor coy;
Without any asking!




















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