Friday, March 2, 2012

Funnelmelody

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Ask anyone at IIT KGP (except DB who knew me like the back of his hand and often had to apply cold cream) and they will certify that I am basically a simple chap. Indeed about a month back, I got a mail from our ex-HoD (MLM), my colleague there for forty years, stating that, after 'calibrating' me for that long, he concluded that I am 'simple, aloof and helpful'...I guess the three adjectives reinforce one another like the 3-D we live in...one can't be simple without being helpful and aloof etc.

Deviousness is not there in my character...although I used to refer to 'D.V.S. Sharma' as 'Devious Sharma'. I love to speak the way I write and vice versa. Unfortunately this trait of mine subjected me to constant humiliation, often in public.

It all started with my gushing: "I love Don Quixote" pronouncing it as: "Dawn Quicksote". One of my classmates at AU, who never read that book, or any other worthwhile book for that matter, laughed at me and corrected: It ought to be pronounced: "Dan kee-HO-tee" (He went to a Convent School).

From that day I developed a complex and keep quiet when in doubt, which is most of the time...except in the class room...I wrote a Ph D Thesis on Cherenkov Radiation, which spelling was preferred by my Guide SDM, although TIFR superfolks used to write Cerenkov Radiation. It turns out neither is right...Cherenkov (or for that matter Cerenkov) ought to be pronounced, I now see, as: "Chirengkof"...dash it, I mean...as Bertie would exclaim.

The limit was when I called Lieutenant precisely as it is written. And was laughed at by my own Father who corrected me: "Leftinent". And when I introduced Lt. Col. Sharma as: "Leftinent Colonel Sharma" in my Faculty Hostel at KGP, he took umbrage and corrected me: "Loo-tenant Carnal Sharam-a".

German (in which I have two Certificates a decade apart), I was told, has no hassles and is phonetic. Hitler is "Hit-ler", Goring is, "Goring"...well, not quite, there is an unpronounceable umlaut over his head; and Eva Braun is just: "Eva Brown"...not so, not so...it is: "Efa Braun"...since 'v' is pronounced as: 'f' in German (and 'bh' in Bengali).

What the heck! When I pronounced the Subject of 'Lust for Life', Vincent van Gogh, just as he is writ, they laughed and said something equally nonsensical. The right thing is: Give Up!:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLTQv8RH1TE



Then again when I uttered: San Jose as: "San Jose(ph)" they giggled and said: "San Ho Zay" and when I pronounced New Jersey as: "New Her Zay" they laughed again. And when my son returned from a fortnight's visit to Albuquerque, I asked him: "How is Albukwerkwe?" he laughed and said: "Albukirkee".

And when I said: "Jehovah", Edwin corrected me: "Yahweh"



Titlepiece


I forgot to talk about the title of this post.

It is taken from a rather romantic novel I read at a rather romantic age: "Joy in the Morning" by Betty Smith. The girl in that novel is not quite 'educated' and says: "funnelmelody" when she means: "fundamentally"



...Posted by Ishani


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