NLR-KVR Marathon

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As I was saying yesterday, my father was enrolling for B A in the Christian College at Madras around 1930.

Those days, B A commanded the greatest respect as an entry point to the Job Market and therefore the Marriage Market. Get a B A after Inter, and gates are 'open sesame' to the Civil Services, Law, and Teaching (if everything else fails). Most village hospitals were managed by LMPs and GCIMs which were similar to LCEs, LEEs and LMEs in the field of Engineering. They are diplomas after Inter. Few were MBBSs and BEs.

B Sc ranked a poor third. Sciences didn't command anything but a lowly Demonstrator's posts eventually maybe a Lecturer in a backwaters college. They were the last resort of folks who couldn't master English. B A on the other hand could be in Eng Lit, Economics, Politics, Arts (which included Math!). Both the years in B A had lots of English, other than the Main Subject. In Eng Lit it was English through and through. They took the cake. For those who couldn't gatecrash the higher courses, there was a weak B A with a choice of a Science subject as a subsidiary.

My father preferred to do a B A with Physics as a sidekick.

All he had to show for his Christian College pedigree by my time was a huge Group Photo (pass-out parade), an individual Studio Photo with the default gown and hood and a fake rolled Degree Certificate in hand; and a fantastic gilt-edged Bible, Courtesy Missionaries.

I took no interest as a child in the photos but fondled the Holy Bible just for the wonderful feel of its butter-paper pages and the aroma of leather-binding of 3 decades vintage.

By the time I graduated from AU 30 years later, the Bible shrank to pocket-size and was in competition with a Gita doled out by the Gorakhpur Press. The Bible still was better-printed, but I read the Gita, because it was new and the Mini-Bible was a sorry brat to my father's gorgeous bride.

Anyway, my father had to do a B Ed in order to enter the hallowed portals of 'Qualified Teachers' not subject to 'ousting' during the Summer Vacations. He had a choice: English or Physics as his main B Ed subject.

He told me that Physics was his first love, but he was ditched by the Lab Technicians during his B A Final Practical Exams in the Christian College and flunked and had to repeat it.

It was this way: Apparently, he got an easy 'practical', the Tangent Galvanometer, which was his favorite. But, as he quickly settled down to take the 'readings', the Principal's Candidate wanted to 'change' his allotted experiment (foregoing a lousy 5 marks) and he was awarded the Tangent Galvanometer on my father's desk. My father was shooed and asked to shift to a new bench and start the experiment anew. The Principal's candidate had it 'served on a platter' and had to just take the 'readings' on the set-up thing.

And, in his confusion and bitterness, my father forgot to place the Coil in the wretched Magnetic Meridian and every reading went haywire and he had to take a 'Supple'.

This was His Version of the thing and I am only a Reporter.

[Aside: I had the 'Reverse Osmosis Misfortune' in my M Sc Final Year Lab Exam. As I was saying, I got the easiest of experiments: Measurement of the L, C, and R of a Coil by Q-Meter. I was an expert at it and finished the thing in half an hour against the allotted 3 hours (taking a hundred meaningless repetitions). I did tarry for another half an hour but lost patience and wanted to submit and go away. The External Examiner (from Cal) and our own HoD were enraged and felt insulted that it was an affront to the dignity of the Physics Labs in the whole of Eastern India; and took my Viva for ONE HOUR before proceeding to the next laggard but clever chap. I got 100% in the Expt but 30% in the Viva and lost my Rank, Prizes and the lucrative Demonstrator Post; and had to escape to IIT KGP instead of sticking with the Sea-Side Tourist Resort Vizagh for the next half century.]

Loss on both sides.

Coming back to my father's travails, he had to take English in his B Ed which had of course no hazardous Labs. And over the decades he became the Best English Teacher in the District (unofficially). There were never any Best-Teacher awards then or even in my time at IIT Everyone is supposed to be the Best Teacher, since no 'Teaching-Meter' was there to measure Teaching Ability other than Voting by Students; and this was never liked by Senior Teachers (who knows!). IIT KGP tried to institute a Best-Teacher Award several times but had to face a Concrete Wall from the Senators who are the Senior-most Teachers but were 'forced' to do Administration like Wardenships, Committee Chairmen , Profs-In-Charge of B C Roy Hospital etc; and had little time for competing with Ass-Lecturers who didn't have to 'administer'.

Things went on swell for my father and he became duly one of the youngest Head Masters (this was decided by the Confidential Reports (CRs)' of Senior Teachers (the British perfected their 'System' down the line).

One fine morning in 1960 when my father had just about a decade left as HM before retirement the New Minister wanted to 'overhaul' the cobweb-ridden School Education and 'improve' the standards by leaps and bounds to compete with the Best in the World. The Minister might have lost his post the next month (in a 'lively' Democracy these things happen all too often), but not so the 'permanent' IAS Babu who got the file and took up His Master's Voice too seriously.

Now, the IAS chap takes only ONE Exam in their life to join the Steel Framework of the Empire. Then on everything with them goes by THEIR CRs. All they have to do to go up and up and up is to just see that their CRS are in proper order. But when they spit on their palms and try to 'improve' the School Education System, they do a THOROUGH Job.

First, they decide that the existing HMs are a rotten lot because they were recruited under the British Regime and so are suspect under Independent India. And so they administer additional Tests and and Exams to 50-year-old HMs to see if they still are eligible to teach under the new dispensation. And, those whom they deem are not below par, will be asked to undergo 'Short-Term Refresher Courses' of 3-months duration in Summer at various Universities and such Centers of Advanced Learning.

But first they have to 'pass' a Written Test at that age. Those who FAIL the written test will have to forgo all future increments and retire at Rs. 300 pm. But those who 'clear' the Test, undergo the Training, and also 'clear' the Exam at the end of 3 months will go ahead and retire at Rs 500 pm. A frightening margin for HMs like my father who had half a dozen daughters to feed, dress, educate and also provide for their dowry.

My father gave his Eligibility Test for Training in English in 1960.

I was then already in my Second Year at that Blessed University and was keenly watching my father's progress on his Education Front.

After the Prelim-Test I asked him how it went (I had half a mind to take his Viva after his Exam as he used do to me and wield the stick; but let it go...one can't take a vengeful attitude to one's father...after all he did teach you Good English).

My father was always a half-empty chap (with six daughters he ought to be). He said so-so, and expected that he would surely fail, because it was a 'Competitive' Exam since there were only 30 'seats' (chairs) in the AU 'English' Class Room. And he was sure that his sub-sub-juniors would have done better by virtue of their youth, enthu, and 'modern' training.

I was at Kovur that summer with my father enjoying the summer vacation and daily scanning for my father's Results, which were expected to be 'published' in the English Dailies any day.

We used to take the Indian Express but not the Hindu which was 10 paise costlier and so we couldn't afford. My father's Overall Roll Number was 62.

And the dreary morning the Results came in print in the Indian Express, there was 60 followed by 65.

62 was just missing!

I was shocked and just about started crying. Becuase I had to break the awful news to my father.

However, he took it sportingly and crowed; "Didn't I tell you!"

But I was just not convinced since I felt in my bones that my father was the best English HM still.

Yet it was not like a phone call or SMS but HARD Copy!

Anyway, after a couple of hours, my father sent me to the District HQ, Nellore, which was 5 miles away on a Bank Job of the High School, since he didn't trust his AHM (he never trusted anyone with money).

I rented a push-bike from the Corenr Shop at the rate 0f 25 paise an hour and set out on the 5-mile run over the new Road Bridge on the River Pennar on a hot summer day.

After finishing my errand, I thought I would peep in my auntie's place (the Post Master's wife who always fed me vadas).

Parking my bike and rim-locking it in front of their house I entered their Hall to the warmest possible welcome ever. Auntie told me that she was just about asking me to go to the Post Office and ask Uncle to make a 'free 3-minute call' to my father congratulating him on his success in the Test.

I was offended by her jeers and kept mum. She then guessed something was wrong and asked me what was the matter with me. I said my father flunked.

She was aghast and asked father's number. I said 62. She said it was very much there in her newspaper which happened to be the Hindu.

I jumped and scanned it twenty times and lo and behold 62 WAS there sandwiched between 60 and 65.

I grabbed her Hindu and saying nothing, went out, unlocked my push-bike and pedaled furiously.

I would have just about bagged the Olypmic Gold Medal if there was one then.

And fell flat at my father's desk in his HMs's Office.

He was curious and when I broke the news with the evidence of the hard copy of the Hindu, he looked at it unconvinced and argued quite a while that Hindu must be wrong since it was published by the wily Tamilians bent on misleading the Telugus.

And I had to argue that it is possible for the printer to omit a number rather than to insert an extra one (however devilish he is).

He was just not convinced.

I had to then spend Rs 3 of my precious pocket money and give a RPPD (Reply Paid) Telegram to the OE (Officer-in-Charge of Exams) at Hyderabad.

The reply came confirming Hindu and adding that an 'errata' will be released in the Indian Express and thanking me (since I paid for the Reply Telegram charges).

By and by, my father joined me for 3 months at our University for his Refresher Course, came First in that Exam and retired with a Grand Rs 500 Pay and Benefits.

All Printers are Devilish (including my HP).


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