My India 14- 1950-55

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I now conclude (happily) the Rural Health Care(less) Systems in our Village:

(5) Ayurveda & Astrology:

Let me state at the outset that I have very little against Ayurveda and very much against Astrology.

We had no dedicated Ayurvedic Outlet in our Village. Our Telugu Pundit, a learned poet, also doubled as Ayurvedic helpmeet (non-profit).

He was very fond of my father (his HM) for his unworldliness, and equally fond of HM's hapless 7 closely-knit children. He himself had half a dozen talented sons, one of them my classmate-cum- topper (I as usual a close runner-up; he scored in 'presentation').

When everything failed, my mother used to trust him with his knowledge of Ayurveda. He would be summoned to our home if it was a Day-Care thing; if it was a midnight emergency, I, the lone male child would be woken up rudely and dispatched to his house for 'medicine'. It appears that sometimes, I lost my way in my sleepy state and ended up at our playground only to discover that no one had turned up yet, before I woke up fully and woke him up equally rudely. He would then fetch a tin or two of his remedies from his tool-kit, take a few chits from his stack of news-paper cuttings, pour some powder into each, fold them up typically and ask me to get lost.

The powders used to do overnight wonders. When he arrived next morning to do a possible 'post-mortem', my mother would thank him and ask him what was that wonder-drug that cured us so miraculously, he would smile and let it out that it is the same 'Pachan Churan', the tin that we already had bought from Nellore on his advice. My mother would then wonder why it didn't work till midnight. Then he would recite: "Shankhecha Tirtham" (which meant that water would be Holy Water only when it is poured out of the Holy Conch); and let it go at that.

Other than this white powder which, happily, had to be mixed in honey before administering it to its poor victim, he had only one other called; 'Bhaskar Lavan' (which is blackish and salty. I later discovered in Bengal, that Dabur used to market the same stuff in goli form called 'Hajmula' in its various avatars; the latest I am told is a 'candy' isotope).

There was of course, the Amla-based 'Chyavanpras', a very tasty addiction. Unfortunately, its marketed version was too expensive for a family of seven kids and once in a while, my father when he was in the mood to sweeten his ever-testy HM temper. And all efforts to make it at home came to naught. Everyone knew its ingredients and proportions, but the making it up is a trade-secret (like a popular teacher who teaches from the same damn book, but it turns out quite different). In Jalgaon, they had an avatar of pure amla in the from of the usual supari, but hardly a substitute either to supari or Chyavanpras.

The trouble with Village Ayurvedic Pundits was that they used to dabble in Astrology too and mix the two up into an incestuous concoction.

I have nothing against pure occult practices, like palmistry, numerology, face-reading, planchet etc, but I have a grouse against Astrology. Because it an Impostor. A Pretender. It masks itself as a Science. It invokes well-known planetary positions that are part of observational astronomy and could be found in any good almanac. Then it ascribes to planets all sorts of occult powers over poor human beings and their mundane affairs. Confuses them with godlets. And uses simple astronomical computations to 'predict' the future of inane individuals, and also prescribe 'japas', 'homas', and rings with appropriate stones to please the planet-gods on one side and its practitioners on the other. It is no good if you buy the stone in the pavement-market. It has to be delivered by the astrologer after performing innumerable but strictly 'countable' chants to 'holify' it.

The great Urdu Poet, Ghalib Saheb is reputed to have sung: "Duniya me ******yonki kami nahi; udhar dhoondo, yahin miltey hain".

I have a running battle with all my AP kith and kin about this pathology. Every AP Brahmin kid is born free...but the Family Astrologer takes over soon after and dumps on it a 'kundali' which it has to wear like an albatross around its neck till Death and Beyond. It is chained forever and forever...most importantly during searches for alliances. I have known kids born under some 'unholy stars' prohibited to marry into normal families (one shouldn't have mom-in-law, the other pop-in-law, another brother-in-law et al) and ever left to fend for themselves. Nothing can be more cruel than kundalis. I fought against it bitterly in my father's family, but to little effect. I am completely alienated, but I am happy for it and don't repent.

Such is the cruel impact of smuggling Physics (Astronomy) as God.

But I find recently a much worse tendency to smuggle God into Physics, starting from Einstein downwards or upwards depending on your position of observation.

I had a neat thing with God all through my life. Many used to ask me point blank if I am a Theist or Atheist. I would say I am an Escapist. The Ram Bhaktas of IIT KGP used to pin me down and demand: "Do you believe in Raam as God or no?". I used to answer; "Sometimes". When asked to elaborate, I would say: "When convenient", such as promotion or marriage or worse its consummation happen to crucially depend on it. (Believe it or not, it is true!).

I see no reason why anyone should try to pin me down on a thing on which I happen to have no opinion.

Once I was reciting some very beautiful slokas from Brihadaranyak Upanishad to DB. Then he tried to pin me down if the said Upanishad resolves the Problem of Evil and injustices such as infant mortality.

I replied that they are not the subject matter of the Text.

Being a physicist, he immediately understood and appreciated what I meant: like asking his Gel'fand's books what they say about Ayurvedic drugs.

Anyway, so much about God.

I have a thing or two to say about Solar Eclipse, Anupam Mazumdar's quirky Batch and pin-hole camera....which is deferred to tomorrow's Blog as Volume II of this Post (if I and my intermittent net-connection survive till then...

So long!


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