Shivratri

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Maugham wrote that those who don't talk should smoke.

And he would have said that those who don't smoke should blog.

So here I am back at the good old nukkad cybercafe.

These youngsters who man this thing are ever kind to me. When I ask for a good keyboard, they give me either cubbyhole # 7 or # 8.

# 7 has a very visible white keyboard which doesn't work...the keys are uneven and slip.

# 8 has a feather touch beauty but the keys are invisible...no good for a hunt and poke artist like me.

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All of us are in the throes of shifting house, the D-Day for which is 3 days and nights away.

Saturday morning the Packers & Movers will arrive. A dozen able-bodied young men will hound us out and finish their Packing part in 3 hours, Moving in 1 hour and Unpacking in another 2 hours.

If we are not ready, say I happen to be dozing on my chair, they will pack me too...

And Ishani is ever helpful, like Montmorency in Three Men in a Boat.

And since my son shifted his job to a new Firm, his Leave Balance is ZERO.

So, this noon we both drove down to the Gas Counter to get the Papers ready for Shifting and we found that the Gas Agency is Closed.

One precious day gone.

Upon inquiry we were told that today is Shivratri.

This is a big festival here for ladies. My son asked me why. I replied that young girls (manning the Gas Telephones) will go on a fast and do Puja to Shivjee asking for a great husband like him (remember he shed half of his body to accommodate Gourijee; and Gangajee occupies his head steering his 'straight and narrow path').

My son then asked me why the married girls too have a day off. I had to reply that they pray for a better husband the next time around. He understands this because he knows all about continually updating software products: we started with Word and then Word 1.1 etc till Word 9.9 I believe...he now says the latest is Word 2007 or some such goofy thing.

Males however don't do Puja and fasting but they do Whole-Night Jagaran (keeping awake), I don't know why...maybe to get a good mistress...

The Jagaran takes several forms...from watching four 3-hour movies one after the other in Theaters which cater to their special Shivratri needs...to whole night Rummy sessions on a small wagers (PC for Playing Cards).

After keeping awake the whole night, they go to bed the whole next day, taking leave.

I can sacrifice everything for Ishani but my sleep...sorry... can't do without sleep.

I had no sleep at all (it looked) for a month and more during my severe Depression...sleep is very subjective...my folks say I WAS sleeping, but that doesn't matter a whit to me...what matters is whether I feel I slept or no...

After 15 days and nights of sleeplessness I was hunting for ways and means to give it all up and recalled Dorothy Parker's lines:

"Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live."

— Dorothy Parker

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This house-shifting business looks like it will cost us a cool Rs 1 lakh.

45,000 for a 3-month advance house rent. 15,000 for Packers & Movers. 15,000 for a new Aqua Guard RO Water Purifier. 10,000 for a cooking range as a standby for no-gas days. And my son is bent upon gifting me a new Desktop PC...

"Who steals my purse steals trash" after next week...

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