Reluctant Performers

==========================================================================

Shashi Tharoor (of the 'cattle class' fame) writes well.

He doesn't need my certificate, but remember that I am the fearless kid who spoke up that the Emperor had no clothes, as far as English goes...I have no qualifications other than enjoyment.

Here is what he says in his latest weekly piece in DC titled: "Parliament: A curious Indian institution":

************************************************************************************************************

"In the UK, there is a tradition by which a newly-elected Speaker has to be physically dragged to the chair by his colleagues, as if reluctant to assume such a heavy responsibility. That was one British practice we didn't emulate. Given what we put our Speakers through, perhaps it would have been more appropriate here!"

**************************************************************************************************************

This bit of curious reluctance led me to recall other such instances I read before.

Here is one from RKN's Ramayana:

"...In order to end a prolonged drought, the King of Anga was advised to get Rishya Sringa to visit his country, since it always rained in his proximity; but they knew that on no account would he consent to leave his mountain retreat. While the King was considering how to solve the problem, a bevy of beauties offered their services and went forth in search of this young sage. They reached his hermitage, found him alone, and enticed him away to Anga. He had never seen any human being except his father, and could not make out what these creatures were, when the damsels from Anga surrounded him. But given time for instinct to work, he became curious and abandoned himself to their care. They represented themselves as ascetics, invited him to visit their hermitage, and carried him away. (In Mysore State at Kigga, four thousand feet above sea level, a carving on a temple pillar shows the young recluse being carried off on a palanquin made of the intertwined arms of naked women)..."

Oye!

****************************************************************************************************************

And of course every reader of RKN and Bollywood buffs know the Reluctant Saint (Sadhu) of the Guide.

But RKN also wrote a piece titled: Reluctant Guru in the Collection "A Writer's Nightmare" (To Sir, With Love, Aniket Basu, June 19, 1999):

"When I accepted an invitation to become a Visiting Professor at a certain mid-Western University, I had had no clear notion as to what it meant. I asked myself again and again what does a Visiting Professor do. I also asked several of my friends in the academic world the same question. No one could give me a concrete and convincing answer and so I contented myself with the thought that a Visiting Professor just visits and professes and if he happens to be in the special category of 'D.V.P' (Distinguished Visiting Professor) he also tries to maintain and flourish his distinguished qualities. Well, all that seemed to suit me excellently.

...So, on the first morning, I reported to myself at the English Department of the University. The Chairman of the Department who had arranged my visit was a distinguished scholar and critic, who, among other things, had also made a detailed, deep study of my writing.

I asked him what I should do now and he kept asking in his turn what I would like to do, the only definite engagement for the day he was aware of being that I was to be photographed at two o'clock. I sat brooding..."

**************************************************************************************************************

The Campus of IIT KGP was heaven to me. I was the proverbial Lotus Eater there. And I used to wonder what would happen to Harrys if I don't visit the joint even for a day. And I refused to leave it except when inevitable.

One fine morning when I was dozing in the Seminar Room reluctantly assisting a Grand Viva, the P&T Chap came in and handed me an Express Telegram from Delhi:

"You are invited to participate in setting the Question Paper in Physics for XXXX Examination between 30 December and 3 January. Travel and accommodation will be arranged. Wire acceptance...bla bla bla..."

This was news to me since I never participated in any one of these affairs except inter-IIT things; and couldn't figure out how my name of all folks ended up in their list.

I didn't want to go...but wanted a decent alibi so that the Ministry of HRD wouldn't get offended.

I asked my friend in the Administration how to get out of it. And, he suggested that since I was only an Assistant Professor drawing a meager Rs.1400 pm, I was not entitled for airfare which needs a minimum salary of Rs. 1800. So, he asked me to wire:

"Can come only if flight is permitted...bla bla bla",

hoping that the iron-clad bureaucracy would fall silent and invite the next man in the panel.

But within a couple of hours came the reply:

"Airfare permitted as a special case. Wire arrival details...bla bla bla"

I then cursed my friend and replied:

"Suffering from a sudden attack of chest pain and heartache and advised rest for a month...sorry for the trouble...bla bla bla..."

The matter didn't end there.

A fortnight later I got a phone call from a Professor-friend at IISc Bangalore cursing me:

"I took the trouble to do you a favor and influenced the Chairman of XXXX to include your name in the panel; and he scolded me today and blacklisted ME!"

I then narrated to him Damayanti's retort to King Nala:

"What is the use of offering a pot of ghee to a man who is terribly thirsty?"

Apparently it didn't go well...sigh!

==========================================================================