Atmospherics

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Weather is something everyone has lived with from infancy. And so most folks, particularly journos, feel complacent talking about it.

Whereas Atmosphere is about the most complicated system as idealized systems of physics go. Atmospheric Physics is tough and embraces all branches of classical physics such as fluid mechanics (including turbulence), thermodynamcis, electrodynamics, optics, gravity, and whatever you name it.

But journalists couldn't care less...they go after the neat and mod phrase.

I got thinking about this when I read the picturesque description that all opposition parties cornered the Government in Parliament when they found that the issue of FDI in Retail acted like a 'lightning rod'.

Really? Lightning rod is the safety mechanism against thunderbolts, as everyone knows. What the journos wanted to say was that the FDI in Retail served as a thunderbolt on the GoI.

Often I read in the newspapers that the GoI was caught in the Eye of the Storm, say, on the issue of 2G spectrum. I lived through the Eye of a vicious cyclone at about 1 AM while we were in Qrs C1-97 at IIT KGP circa 1985. The cyclone brewed slowly from about 6 in the evening and reached a crescendo around 12.55. And there was this sudden lull as if the whole event blew over. But for about just 10 minutes. Then the winds reversed and it gathered strength again. By dawn when it was all over, all the trees in our backyard were flattened. The Eye was a passing lull of great peace and tranquility.

And the familiar phrase that the price of onions touched the Stratosphere. I guess it sounded nice. But Stratosphere is only the second highest after the Troposphere. We then have the Mesosphere, Thermosphere and Exosphere, no? And Stratosphere is the one in which there is a reversal of temperatures; cool below and hot above.

They also talk of the PM being in Cloud Nine after a good Summit. And they are quite unaware of the various cloud types we had to mug up, like cirrus, stratus, nimbus, cumulus, and their various combos. Google tells me that Cloud Nine as per US Weather Service is Cumulonimbus...stormiest...though the highest. PM better be described as in the tenth heaven...begging the question about the other nine.

And they talk about Rainbow Coalitions. Rainbow is the toughest topic I ever faced and it took all of 43 years for me to understand why all rainbows have the same angular radius of about 41 degrees arc. Rainbows have all the seven colors, while governing coalitions have about 4 colors; the rest three sitting in the unwilling opposition.

Well, I am picking needlessly on journos. But I am scared of Atmospheric Physics, having served for forty years in the Department of Physics & Meteorology at KGP.

Here is an anecdote:

An Atmospheric Scientist from IMD gave a seminar in our Seminar Room. After which, HNA, who was then a young lecturer, rose up and asked:

"Tell me simply why it doesn't rain in my Bikaner when it rains in Jodhpur"

Obviously there was no one-word answer and there was pandemonium. And CLR got up and said: "We need Rajasthan desert very badly since in summer it gets so hot there that the monsoon currents build up and rain copiously in Bengal"

And then HNA got angry till STA got up and told the story of Lord Raam getting angry with Sugriv for forgetting his promise of help and is about to launch his missile-arrow. Sugriv is scared and falls on the feet of Lord Raam but Laxman says that once it is loaded, Raam's missile can't be taken back. And then the King of Rajasthan offers that Lord Raam's arrow be aimed at his fertile land if it pleases Raam so. And Raam's arrow then scorches Rajasthan so dry that it becomes a desert...but everyone in India hails the sacrifice of the King of Rajasthan for his sacrifice...and HNA is the epitome of all self-sacrifice in the Phy Dept...

And HNA laughed and sat down...



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