Classic Feints

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Feints include Red Herrings, Decoys, and Attention Drifters.

In the animal kingdom opossum takes the cake for suddenly feigning death when threatened or pursued by a predator...limbs going stiff, eyes half shut and staring, lying motionless, dribbling saliva from her mouth, and the works, till the stupified enemy is stymied in his hot pursuit....and then get up and scram...

In Raamaayan, the Best Prize goes to Maaricha, who not only acts as a golden red herring but in his dying moments cries out "Laxmanaa!" mimicking Raam's voice. That would befool even the Scotland Yard who believe the Dying Declaration is Gospel Truth. Maaricha must have been a consummate politician in his days.

In Mahabharat, the cardinal feint is by Lord Krishna in the episode of Saindhav's killing by Arjun. Young Abhimanyu, son of Arjun, was mercilessly beheaded by Saindhav when the young one got trapped in Chakra Vyuh (also called Padma Vyuh). Learning this, Arjun vows the next day that if he fails to kill Saindhav by sundown he would throw himself into a lighted pyre. Hearing this, Saindhav was asked by his friends and well-wishers to bury himself underground loosely at a secret spot in the battle field. Unable to ferret Saindhav out the whole day, Arjun loses heart as dusk was nearing. Krishna hatches a plan and launches his Spinning Chakra to slowly cover the Sun's disk as if he was sinking. When the sun was completely blotted out and as Arjun prepares to jump into the pyre lighted for the purpose, friends of Saindhav in their jubilation loosen the sand from his burial spot so he can push up and witness Arjun's last rites. And just as Saindhav's head appears above the ground, Krishna retracts his Discus and it is bright sunshine again. With Saindhav's head completely exposed...you know what happens to that head...

In sports, boxing, I am told, is all about clever feints. And in cricket, it is the googly. And in soccer and hockey, dribbling (in the good old days). Raamda, with whom I shared room for a year, used to go into ecstasy whenever he talked about the dribbling prowess of Dhyan Chand...both hail from Amitjee's Allahabad.

In Thurber's Fables for Our Times, this simple husband goes strolling in their garden early one morning and runs back and exclaims to his wife: "There is a Unicorn in our garden!" Wife turns the other side and asks him to return to bed saying, "Unicorn is a mythical creature". After pottering for some more time, the hubby returns and says: "He is eating our roses!" Wife calls the shrink who visits with a police officer. And asks the wife what is the matter. And she says that her hubby has gone off his rocker saying, "There is a Unicorn in our garden". The psychiatrist looks at the hubby and asks if it is true, upon which the hubby says, "Of course not....Unicorn is a mythical creature!". And the shrink and the police jump on the wife and imprison her in a straitjacket.

Here is a verbatim account of Feynman's encounter with a shrink:

....I sit down at the desk, and the psychiatrist starts looking through my papers. "Hello, Dick!" he says in a cheerful voice. "Where do you work?"

I'm thinking, "Who does he think he is, calling me by my first name?" and I say coldly, "Schenectady."

"Who do you work for, Dick?" says the psychiatrist, smiling again.

"General Electric."

"Do you like your work, Dick?" he says, with that same big smile on his face.

"So-so." I just wasn't going to have anything to do with him.

Three nice questions, and then the fourth one is completely different. "Do you think people talk about you?" he asks, in a low, serious tone.....

Finally, our Dada in the UPA has come up with the greatest feint of all times.

First day they were cornered badly by Black Money. Next day, it was Price Rise. The third day it was Telengana. Then it could have been worse...Corruption.

All these issues threatening to paint the Government into a tight spot.

Overnight, he comes up with a Bolt from the Blue... a sudden decision over decade's old issue of FDI in the Retail.

The entire Opposition, with support from some UPA allies, is racing like a bull after this red rag forgetting every other issue on which they were tightening the screws.

The Matador will win...he has nothing to lose by retracting completely on the irrelevant, inconsequential and immaterial FDI in Retail after everything else is duly forgot....


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