Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Do-Gooders Class - 2

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Then there are boy scouts who have got do at least one act of kindness everyday and record it in their diary.


Like the one who 'helps' a reluctant dumb old lady cross the street while she was waiting to catch a downtown bus and loses her balance temporarily. Or Edwin the conscientious boy scout who had a backlog of four days' acts of kindness and tidies Bertie's country cottage in his absence, upsets the lamp, and manages to burn the cottage down. 

Or the canonical Jim Corbett's kind soul who rescues a bird accidentally dropped from the claws of an eagle, bandages and nourishes it till it dies of the poison residing in the talons of all eagles...thereby forcing the eagle to kill a mouse to feed the hungry clutch in her nest and be careful this time around.

Or the retired Uncle of this Class XII boy preparing for his Board exams the next day, on an extended visit to their place, who finds a dozen books open at random pages stacked one over the other and tidies the boy's table and arranges all the books in the book rack according to their decreasing heights. The boy returns from a short visit to his friend and finds his table cleaned up and throws a gargantuan tantrum in unending fits of colossal rage.

Or the new and smart housemaid who tidies up the kitchen of her lady arranging all the haphazard bottles and tins in what she felt was the perfect order in the almirah.

Or, Professor RPS who used to catch me on my daily evening walks from the Tech Market while driving his new Maruti Omni van and stops it in the middle of the road and won't listen to any excuse till I get vexed and get up on to his side seat, and starts an anecdote of his earlier life with:


"At that time I was very famous"


"Is that so?"


"Yes, don't you know?"


and waits outside my Qrs till he finishes his story and takes a U-turn to his Qrs near the Tech Market, forcing me to resume my 15-minutes of lapsed walk in the other direction hoping he wouldn't be returning to say:


"I forgot to tell you..."


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One drowsy afternoon I was resting in the Seminar Room of the Phy Dept at IIT KGP while a grand viva was going on. The door opened and Rasik in his invariant blue shirt came in with an Express Telegram and handed it over to me.


For a moment I was worried till I found it was from New Delhi and signed Secretary of an autonomous organization whose chief business lay in conducting All-India Exams for their Services.

The telegram brusquely asked me to report at their Delhi address on a confidential assignment from December 31 to January 4...wire acceptance ASAP.

I woke up and the imp of the perverse excuse got me looking at the confounded impertinence of the Sec-Jack. I recalled an inflexible Central Government rule enforced at our IIT which debarred airfare for anyone drawing less than Rs 1800 per month basic pay...my basic then was Rs 1400. 

So I smartly wired back:

"Can come only if airfare and hospitality approved"

laughing in my sleeves for putting one over the Sec.

Within a couple of hours I got the reply-wire:

"Approved. Please wire date and time of arrival and flight number"

That indeed was a bolus for me. And I had to tuck my tail, wait a couple of days and wire back:


"Unable to travel due to severe diarrhea stop"


A month later I got a stinging letter from my 3-year-senior at AU who was by then a Professor at IISC, Bangalore, whose operative sentence was:


"I tried to help you by strongly recommending your name to one of the richest, coveted, and exclusive Central Government Organizations and you ditched me...never again..."

"Thank you!"



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