Of Drivers & Driven - 3

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 http://www.deceptology.com/2011/11/how-to-stop-disabled-parking-scams.html

 ...We stopped under the willows by Kempton Park, and lunched. It is a pretty little spot there: a pleasant grass plateau, running along by the water’s edge, and overhung by willows. We had just commenced the third course—the bread and jam—when a gentleman in shirt-sleeves and a short pipe came along, and wanted to know if we knew that we were trespassing. 

We said we hadn’t given the matter sufficient consideration as yet to enable us to arrive at a definite conclusion on that point, but that, if he assured us on his word as a gentleman that we were trespassing, we would, without further hesitation, believe it. 

He gave us the required assurance, and we thanked him, but he still hung about, and seemed to be dissatisfied, so we asked him if there was anything further that we could do for him; and Harris, who is of a chummy disposition, offered him a bit of bread and jam. I fancy he must have belonged to some society sworn to abstain from bread and jam; for he declined it quite gruffly, as if he were vexed at being tempted with it, and he added that it was his duty to turn us off. 

Harris said that if it was a duty it ought to be done, and asked the man what was his idea with regard to the best means for accomplishing it. Harris is what you would call a well-made man of about number one size, and looks hard and bony, and the man measured him up and down, and said he would go and consult his master, and then come back and chuck us both into the river. 

Of course, we never saw him any more, and, of course, all he really wanted was a shilling.

 ...Three Men in a Boat

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Four years ago I was that much younger...not yet into my seventies. My sight was keen, reflexes sharp, and will combative.

My newly-wed D-i-L was then employed in a concern in Balanagar, 10 km from our rented home in Khairatabad. She didn't learn driving yet. So, every morning at 9, I used to drop her at her office and pick her up in the evening at 5.30 in my matchbox Maruti car. The route through Punjagutta and Ameerpet was about the busiest and roughest.

While picking her up in the evenings I had to wait for an unknown 10 to 30 minutes. There was this huge estate there that housed a timber yard and far from its innards it had a high and wide wall pierced at its center by a broad iron grill gate. So, I used to park my car beside the compound wall and have a cup of tea and wait. Although Balanagar is a famous industry hub bustling with long and heavy trucks, my parking lot was always vacant and my car or I didn't cause any annoyance to anyone.

After about a week of this happy sojourn, one evening, I found a short stout gent with a pronounced grump standing in the middle of the entrance gate trying to straddle it vainly like a Colossus as if waiting for someone...it turned out for me.

And as I was parking my car in my usual place, this gent shouted at me:

"Don't park it here...remove it...now!"

"Why?"

"This place belongs to me"

"Are you the Owner?"

"Yes"

"But the place is always vacant and I don't disturb anyone"

"That doesn't matter...I own this piece of land and you better not argue with me"

"Do you own the kerb also?"

"Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!"

I had my bit of argument and was on the wrong foot and, unlike Harris,  I was puny and poor compared to the rich and stout 'landlord'. 

So, I shifted my car to a place slightly away...by a sort of ditch visible to Dada.

The next evening I again found him outside his property waiting for me. And I parked my car by the ditch and was walking by him for my cup of chai as he was watching grumpily. 

In the fraction of a second I had an inspiration and while walking past him I gave him a broad smile and said:

"Ok?"

And he scowled and went in. 

The next evening too he was on his watch awaiting my arrival and I said:

"Hi!"

Like that it went on for four or five evenings and  I invariably curtsied him in my IIT KGP bhadralok mode.

And then he disappeared one evening...and I resumed my parking by his broad gate.

It all seemed like Ishani's favorite nursery rhyme:

Incy Wincy Spider went up the water spout

Down came the rain and washed the spider out

Out came the sun and dried up all the rain

Incy Wincy Spider went up the spout again"

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