Friday, October 21, 2011

Dyshonesty

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I don't think I am a misanthrope.

Webster defines 'misanthrope' as 'a person who hates or distrusts humankind'. I certainly don't hate or for that matter distrust humankind, in particular, womankind. I love them all, like our Autocrat, in various 'degrees of freedom' to use a physics jargon.

I would like to call myself a dysanthrope...don't look up this word in any dictionary...I invented it just now.

Here are a few 'dys'-words from Webster that I am familiar with:

...dysentery, dysfunction, dyslexia, dysmenorrhea, dyspepsia, dystrophy...not to talk of dysprosium...

All of them have this in common: pain and abnormality.

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Let me clarify by an example taken from the ethereal world of academics in which I lived wily-nilly for the most part of my life.

Suppose you write a Paper for a prestigious 'phoren' journal that you think is likely to get you promotions if not awards and honors.

And you got the central idea of the Paper during a discussion with an unwitting colleague C, say. And you are debating how to acknowledge her in print.

You can be:

1. honest: State exactly how much you owe C

2. dishonest: Forget about C

3. dyshonest: Acknowledge C somewhere tucked in the midst of blanket Acknowledgments to your Diro, HoD, Roommate, Typist, Wife, Son and Neighbors...to dilute your debt. This effort is more 'painful' and 'abnormal' than 1 or 2 which are decisive.

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Talking of 'dyshonest' Acknowledgments, here are a few mythical ones:

1. ABC is a young and talented faculty member. Without knowing his own abilities and aptitudes, he registers for a Ph D under Professor XYZ who is an expert in lab. But he discovers he hates labs but loves theory of which XYZ is innocent. So, he approaches his HoD showing all the theory he did without the help of anyone. HoD asks him to submit his thesis under XYZ not to make matters difficult for everyone. ABC's Acknowledgment reads:

"I am immensely grateful to my HoD but for whose encouragement this thesis would never have been written. I also thank XYZ for being kindly cooperative...bla bla..."

He gets his degree and flies away to the US.

2. TRR is apparently humiliated for 5 years as an M Sc student by his Professor KVR who had a thing against TRR's 'attitude'. And in his final year TRR does his Project under gps. By then KVR becomes the HoD. After okaying his thesis, gps asks TRR to thank the HoD also in his Acknowledgments, to avoid trouble. TRR turns around and asks: "What for?"... gps replies: "for making the facility of the computer lab available"

3. Good Old BBB is chosen as the Ph D Examiner for a thesis. But he is too busy and requests the Registry to invite his post-doc CCC as a co-examiner. The Report has the signatures of both BBB and CCC. BBB gives away the paltry honorarium of Rs 100 to CCC. And flies from the East Coast to the West to take the viva, enjoying the hospitality and making contacts.

I guess you get an idea of 'dyshonesty'...

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Post Script

Someone, maybe Shakespeare himself, said there is nothing new under the sun.

Just now I Googled for 'dysanthrope' and got 884 results. And the first one, the Urban Dictionary, said it in a mouthful:

dysanthrope

-noun:

one whose interactions with humankind result in personal physical and/emotional pain

Unlike a misanthrope, who simply hates people, the dysanthrope finds it painful to interact with others.




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