Plumbering

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I first heard this magic word: "Plumbering" from my sister while she was describing her trials, travails and tribulations with the Plumber of their apartment block.

I liked the word...it is badly needed.

Plumbing is the Works...plumbering is the havoc a dedicated plumber can wreak with his plumbing.

Like tinkering, tailoring, sailoring and soldiering...sorry!

There is yet another word with even more conjugations:

commenting, commentating and commentatoring.

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One morning while I was staying alone in Qrs C1-97 at IIT KGP, which had its own weird plumbing, the bathroom tap broke and fell down on the floor. And precious water was gushing all over the floor. There was no way I could close it. So, I ran to the Plumbering Section and pleaded with the Supervisor to send one of his plumbers (all of who were smoking beedies and waiting for their 'duty roster'). The Supervisor brusquely pointed to the Complaints Register.

An hour later, this chap came on his ancient push-bike with his bag and baggage and entered the swimming bathroom; and rebuked me:

"You wrote that the tap is broken, so I brought a new tap. But what is broken is the bibcock...don't you know the difference?", saying which he biked back.

So, ignorance of English and her nuances is unpardonable.

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My son's wedding muhurat was at an auspicious and convenient 9 AM in Nellore. And as you may know, the 'bandwidth' of the muhurat is just 5 minutes...the planets would drift away...'planet' means 'wanderer', as I was told by my English Teacher.

And my 85-year old Mom very much wanted to witness the rare occasion and be the MC. And she was staying at my said sister's apartment. And she got up early for her ablutions and Puja and entered the bathroom in good time. But, she took the support of the water pipe for getting up from her toilet seat. And the pipe broke and all hell broke loose with it. The 'check' valve was on top of the 6-floor apartment block, and the finding and closing it took so much time that she missed the muhurat to the discomfiture of all.

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When he joined his IT Firm in Hyderabad, my son was staying alone for a while on the first floor of an old and dilapidated apartment block. One day he returned 'home' at midnight to find all the floors of all the rooms in his apartment flooded with water sprinkled with cockroaches, leavings of cooked vegetables and garbage....

I am told that first floors are prone to this type of hilarity. Next morning when he paid an 'emergency' sum of Rs 1000 to the Plumber to clear the whole damn works, he was gifted with tennis balls, broken toys, and pebbles and stones that choked the drainage pipe.

We bought our apartment on the 6th floor of the Nile Valley...cleverly.

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I read that the whole human body is governed by the flow of blood and with the heart as the main pump and blood vessels of various girths it is nothing but an elaborate system of plumbing. The heart not only is a pump but also an elaborate 'sewage recycling' mechanism.

By the way, sewage is different than sewerage...

I happened to see a video of this system when my friend had to undergo a heart bypass. It is an amazing experience. It showed the 'pump' going lub-dub each second, and blood squirting and spurting everywhere...and failing in some choked pipes.

Bypass surgery is nothing but plumbering.

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In Hyderabad I watch many trucks bearing the bold legend: GHMWSSB.

I got to know that the acronym stands for:

Greater Hyderabad Metropolitan Water Supply and Sewerage Board.

Nice, isn't it? The same Board is in charge of both the Arteries and Veins of Hyderabad. Is it any wonder there is a thorough mix-up in its Plumbering Lines?

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What's that again?

DC Hyderabad Edition, Page 2 News Report titled:

Rodents on a rampage in city, residents worried

"...The veterinary department and the etymological cell of the GHMC handle the dogs and mosquito menace respectively..."


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